jumaat

pernah tak korang terfikir pasal mati? mesti pernah kan. kalau tak, macam pelik la pulak. mak REd cakap kita wajib fikir pasal mati ni. at least 7 kali sehari, agar kita membaiki diri kita dari segi aqidah dan menyediakan diri kita untuk menghadapi mati yang bakal tiba tanpa diduga.

masa REd kecik2 dulu, REd takut pada mati. takut sangat sampai ada sekali ni, REd nangis. REd tak berani nak berada sorang2 dalam liang lahat nanti. REd gerun dengan kehadiran malaikat maut. masa tu, memang kalau sebut aja pasal mati, rasa macam kalau boleh, nak hidup sampai bila2. tak nak hadapi mati tu. tapi macam tak logik kan. semua orang akan mati. nak, tak nak. cuma yang akan membezakan kita dalam menghadapi mati ni ialah: macam mana kita akan mati?

kalau boleh, semua nak mati dalam tidur. kononnya paling peaceful. dalam hidup REd ada 2 orang yang REd kenal yang actually mati dalam tidur mereka: Allahyarham Pak Andak REd dari singapore, and Allahyarham bapa kawan baik REd. ada yang REd kenal, mati accident, ada mati suicide, ada mati sebab sakit. macam2 keadaan mereka.

of course kita nak mati dalam keadaan yang beriman. and of course kita nak mati dalam keadaan berjihad. orang kata ibu yang meninggal ketika melahirkan anak tu dikira jihad kecil. orang yang mati dalam solat pun dikira jihad kecil. jihad kecil ni macam lepas dari seksaan kubur la. REd pernah dengar la satu tape ni masa REd kecik dulu. tape tu macam bayangkan keadaan bila kita disoal dan diseksa dalam kubur nanti. REd punya la takut. sampai meleleh air mata.

sekarang baru REd faham. kita mmg tak boleh nak lari dari mati. macam mana michael jakson nak hidup dalam kotak yang kedap segala2nya supaya roh dia tak dapat kuar dari badan dia, itu memang idea bangang bin bahalol. aku pun tak tau la macam mana aku boleh minat kat MJ. nasib aku tak jadikan dia idola aku la kan. bodoh nak mam!

sementara kita masih hidup ni, kita toksah la nak beban otak kita ngan soalan: macam mana la kita akan mati nanti ek? kita get ready je la. buat benda baik. jaga diri. tambahkan pahala. semua semua yang positif la. iye, mmg sebaik2 manusia, mesti ada dosa punya. but, takyah la nak tambah benda yang negative kan.

persoalan yang jauh lagi penting sebenarnya adalah: DAH SOLAT?

nota kaki: hari ni hari jumaat. tapi aku tgk masa waktu solat jumaat, ada juga segelintir kaum adam yang masih "online". tere arr!

aimanREd tak kisah......

serious aku tak kisah. tapi korang mesti tanya kan, kalau aku tak kisah naper la aku nak tulis kat sini kan? sebabnya, aku nak one-off la ngan mereka2 di luar sana. buat la apa pun.

REd tak kisah

• kalau kau nak buat aku macam sampah. selama ni kau pun tak pernah nak appreciate aku. tau2 kau happy, ko buat pulak macam aku ni tak wujud atau begging pulak nak cakap ngan kau. adoiyayy.... takde maknanya.
• kalau kau nak take advantage. bila kau nak something, mak aihh.. kata manis sungguh, macam berlian nak kuar dari mulut cara kau susun ayat2 kau. bila kau dah dapat apa kau nak, atau aku dah tolong kau, kau pun terbang melayang. siap jadi macam siott kat aku pun ada.
• kalau kau nak ngutuk aku. kutuk la puas2 ekk. mana aku tak dengar, aku mmg tak kisah la. mana tersampai kat cuping telinga aku ni, aku akan tanya la. pehal kau?
• kalau kau nak jatuhkan aku, especially Mr. Pelik. aku nak lihat kau cuba.
• kalau kau nak gang-up against me. silakan lah. aku bukan nak cakap besar. apa kau tak boleh nak one-on-one ngan aku ke yang sampai ko nak kena cucuk orang lain untuk bersemuka ngan aku? haiiyaaahhh... tak puas hati kalu, cakap la. susah ka?
• kalau kau nak sorokkan benda dari aku. aku pun tak nak de. simpan la. bawa masuk kubur siap. esok kalau ada masalah, carilah aku. kan ke aku ni menurut je.
• kalau kau rasa aku ni ada attitude. ok, ni aku nak clear kan sikit arr. selalunya kan, aku mmg takde ekspresi tau. pastu, kau ingat aku ni buat2 muka bitchy ke apa. bukan. aku dengar apa kau kata. kau jangan la sensitive atau emo sangat. fyi, esok tu, aku sendiri pergi tanya and buat apa yang kau ngan dia suruh aku buat. last2 tak boleh juga. puas hati kau sekarang?
• kalau kau nak berlagak sangat ngan aku. amboi, amboi, amboi.....(siap keluar jari kelingking ni lagi hah) mentang2 le kau ada apa yang aku nak. takpe arr kalau kau rasa kau tak nak share atau pinjam kat aku. kau bawa tidur la benda tu. peluk, gari kat tangan kau.
• kalau jawapan kau buat aku terkejut dan tak sangka yang kau benci kat aku sampai macam tu sekali. pastu kau nak cover line pulak cakap sebab aku ni yang terdekat konon. aku tau kau benci aku. kalau boleh kau nak aku lesap terus kan? soalan REd: "if you can, who would you want to kill most?"
• kalau kau rasa kau tau segala-galanya dari aku. iye, baiklah. kau tere, kau pandai. aku ni kan ke ada attitude problem mengikut kata kau.

selagi kau mampu, kau buat la apa kau nak. asal kau bahagia. masing2 ada akal fikir sendiri yang jauh berbeza antara satu sama lain.

aku?

whatev....

owl necklace

you like?

well, i do.

no harm in adding more to my collection.

it definitely does not stop there ;)

"love transcends all differences"

i took that quote right out of Zuba from M:ETA.

i was walking around in MV yesterday with my cousins and sister when i stumbled upon this particular "couple" of guys. they were just walking normally like any other 2 guys would when suddenly, one of them armed the shoulder of the other. i thought maybe it was just a friendly gesture. but when the gesture was too long to be friendly and too delicate to be manly, i knew that it ain't the case of friends. it is the case of love. i managed to silently snap this while i was walking behind them.




usually, we tend to see "couples" that are actually girl and girl. but to see a male couple walking around like this, it seems odd to me, especially here in Malaysia. well, i have seen many of course. definitely not here. and while i was browsing the net, i also came across this little picture. i dare not say that these 2 pretty young lads are a couple or not. but you go ahead and be the judge.

seriously, i have no qualms of homos. i know it is religeously wrong. but who am i to say that these people will burn in hell or what. that is between them and God the Almighty. i couldn't be the judge of that.


to me, life has to be as simple as possible. it is complicated enough that it does not need more hate to turn it into a massive blend of despair. let love thrive in these times of sadness. let love heal. if people are happy and there are in not in my way, let them be. why should i be the bubble popper eh?

i am not for homos, neither am i hating it. it does not involve me and as i said, i am not the judge, God is.

i believe that people can change for the better.

i just got out of a maximum security prison

... no, really, i did. it was a terrible experience that i hope and pray that no one has to go through. it was so damaging that i vow not to go there anymore. i'll be a good civilian and pay all my respects and dues. i shall not go against the law even if the law was against me.

so, what did i do?

i went to visit my brother, his wife, and his cats at his home in Palm Springs.

we went there at about 2045 hours but only at about 2105 hours that my brother showed up at the entrance so that we can gain access into the compounds. actually, I wanted, and suggested that we park the car outside and make our way pass the guardpost, on foot. but no, he wants to bring the car in and park it near his car. fine, whatever, it is your house, i can't say anything, you know the system better than me.

so, he drove the car pass the guardpost using his access card. the lever does not rise. he called the guard and told the guard to let us in, but the guard was reluctant. he was questioning us as if we were smuggling 2kgs of coke into the premises. even after all that conversation, he didn't allow us in. instead, he told us to go to the other guardpost and try to enter from there. fine, we went to the other post and the same thing recurred. tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a blunt knife. after much haggling and screaming, we were finally let in.

passed first post.

before entering the parking area, another post. lucky for us, that one was problem-free. i am surprised that there aren't any posts at each individual parking space. talking about paranoid!

at almost 2300hours, we left pott's house. he was out as well, to have supper with sha. yah and i were heading home. so, we went to the guardpost to go out of the compounds, but we weren't allowed because we don't have the access card. i was explaining to the guard that we were visitors and we wanted to leave, just let us go already. no, he was firm on his feet. he told us to go to the other guardpost and explain to them. fine, we did that. omg, at that point, i was loosing my marbles already. one after another, the guards came to me and asked me questions. my answer remained the same: we are effing visitors and we don't have the effing access card.

even to get out of the place, we have to register. gawsh!! this is far worse than entering a prison, this is EXITING a condominium! i told yah to get down and register whatever and deal with it. i can't. i wasn't in the right mood, nevermind the right mind. yah went down, talked to them, and still we were held as prisoners. until pott came and somewhat rescued us. that is, after an arguement broke between him and the blahdy guards.

bloody hell! we wanted to LEAVE, not rob the apartments!!

next time (if there are any), i am so going to park effing OUTSIDE. no more waiting, no more screaming, saves my sanity.

Pontianak

dah tiga kali dah benda ni jadi dalam masa 2 minggu lebih aku balik rumah. kalau sekali mungkin perasaan aku je kott. mungkin imaginasi goreng aku je kott. tapi ni dah tiga kali, bukan berturut-turut. tetapi secara rawak.

kat rumah ni, aku memang suka tidur kat ruang tamu sebab aku suka tengok TV sebelum tidur. and i like to leave the balcony door open as it is very cooling and the house does not become stuffy when i wake up in the morning. selalunya, aku memang tidur lambat. sometimes, after 2 in the morning baru nak tidur. most of the time, mesti lepas pukul 12 malam la baru terasa kena tidur.

Episode 1:

kali pertama terjadi, aku berada dalam sleep-wake state tu. masa macam dah nak lelap, but my mind was still racing with thoughts. then aku nampak macam ada benda terapung-apung kat luar balcony tu. aku tengok bebetul, aku nampak seekor pontianak. masa tu aku tau it was way past 0030 hours. tapi dia tak dapat masuk dalam rumah. mungkin sebab rumah ni ada banyak letak ayat2 Qur'an. of course aku rasa takut. bila aku nak bangung, nak masuk bilik, aku tak boleh bangun. aku terkaku kat situ. macam mana aku melawan, aku tetap takleh bergerak. pontianak tu tenung aja aku. lama juga aku meronta, bila aku dapat bangun at last, aku terus lari masuk bilik. tapi aku tgk banyak sangat barang atas katil and aku malas nak memekak malam2 mengemas barang. so, i went back to the hall. but this time, aku pasang bacaan ayat2 Qur'an from my laptop.

Episode 2:

kali ni pun rasa macam sama. but more like i was dreaming. walaupun rasa macam mimpi, aku memang yakin i was fully aware about what was going on. pontianak tu ada betul dekat ngan aku. dia macam nak kasi tau aku sesuatu. ye, ye, kelakar la bunyi nya. tapi kalau korang ada dalam posisi aku, mungkin dah tak kelakar kott. mungkin dah jatuh seram kott.

Episode 3:

ni baru terjadi pagi tadi. i was online late semalam. i was in the dark. then aku start dengar bunyi2 yang pelik. tapi aku buat tak hirau la. beyond my laptop screen, aku memang tak nampak apa2 la sebab my eyes were already too adjusted to the light. therefore i can't see anything in the dark. when the sounds were getting more frequent, i decided to go off the laptop and sleep. pulled the covers, turn on my side and tried my level best to sleep. but as soon as i closed my eyes, i felt like a pressure was forcing down against me. at first, i couldn't be bothered. jangan dilayan orang kata. makin lama, makin kuat force tu. somehow in the back of my head, aku tau pontianak tu ada kat situ. orang kata instinct. aku tau what was happening to me was because of it. aku tunggu, sampai aku rasa force tu makin menghilang, then aku bangun. aku terus on bacaan ayat2 Qur'an tu. aku tido dengan kepala aku bebetul sebelah DELL.

tak sampai 2 jam lepas tu, aku terjaga. bunyi tu dah takde. aku tak rasa presence of pontianak tu.

entah la. nak kata aku imagine ke, aku mimpi ke, aku bebetul kena kacau ke, aku sendiri pun tak berani nak cakap.

sekarang ni, macam i am getting used to it.

jangan dilayan la kott kan?

hey nasi goreng!

tadi masa on the way balik from BCSA, yah cakap kat aku: "kaklin, nanti balik you masak kan i nasi goreng ek?"

see, yah ni is a chef-in-training. dia leh masak benda benda yang aku kalau nak nyebut nama pun aku tak reti. and masakan dia memang sedap la. jadi, bila yah soh akak dia ni masak kan dia nasi goreng, bukanlah bererti yang dia malas nak masak, tapi bererti yang nasi goreng kaklin masak memang masyuk!!

yes, i make a mean nasi goreng. ni "mean" bukan jahat, tapi "mean" maksudnya sedap sangat sehingga menjilat kaki meja la kata orang.

aku pun bertanya: "you nak nasi goreng apa? nasi goreng garlic? chinese? kampung? USA?"

yah: "ala, yang you selalu masak untuk amal tu"

REd: "ooo... garlic fried rice la. ok ok"

pastu aku terfikir: hoishh!! banyak gila ni jenis nasi goreng!! dalam banyak2 tu kan, yang aku tak tahan nama dia tu, tau dak apa? 'nasi goreng USA'. aku tanya yah, dia tau dak naper nama dia macam tu, apa yang buat ia dapat nama macam tu padahal, rasa dia sama je dengan nasi goreng kampung, cuma takde ikan bilis. nasi goreng USA mendapat nama biol itu disebabkan ia disaji dengan sebiji telur mata kerbau. adoiyayy, ko goreng nasi macam biasa aja, ko letak telur goreng sebiji atas tu, jadi terus nama dia 'nasi goreng USA'. sape yang bijak pandai kasi nama ni?

tapi, kalau kat hotel, korang tgk menu tu, dia tulis nasi goreng kampung. bila the food sampai, korang akan tengok that the nasi goreng is served with satay dua tangkai, keropok udang dua keping, and telur goreng sebiji. haaa... naper la pulak tak jadi nama dia nasi goreng USA? pelik la pulak. pastu harga dia takyah nak cakap la. padahal apa je bahan dia, sama ngan nasi goreng yang korang leh jumpa kat kedai mamak ke mana ke.

bercakap pasal kedai mamak, kalau korang mintak nasi goreng, segala apa leftover yang dia ada, dia akan letak dalam nasi goreng tu. kadang, tengah ngap nasi goreng tu, tetiba terwujud la pulak kentang. kalau makan cebisan ayam dia, terasa macam makan kari ayam la pulak. sayur dia, bukan setakat sawi aja, kadang bendi pun ada. tu nasi goreng ke tong sampah?

haa...apa pendapat korang pasal nasi goreng ni? meh debat ngan aku meh....

p/s:lepas aku masak nasi goreng untuk yah, dia cakap: "ni kalau amal ada ni mesti dia suka"... hehehe... mesti la, kakak lin dia yang masak maa... ;)

Bukit Cahaya Shah Alam

after a little over 2 weeks of not doing anything during this long holiday of mine, finally today, i convinced yah to go hiking with me at bukit cahaya, shah alam. the actual plan was, i was supposed to go there with my girlfriends. but due to some circumstances (they are always busy!!), that plan never took place. so, instead of waiting, i decided to take matters into my own hands and go ahead with yah.

i did a little homework online last night of what things we can do there. at first i thought we can't make it today because they are closed on mondays. but thank God today is a public holiday, which means regardless of it being a monday, they are open for business, in my word that would mean fun!

i actually wanted to go do my routine jogging in the morning today before we left for bukit cahaya. but because my bad knee was begging for me not to, i didn't make the jog. i was awake really early this morning, and i was left with nothing to do but wait for yah to wake up and wait some more for the exact time to go because the park opens only at 8am. as soon as i made a confirmation call with the park that it is open today, we started our journey.



bukit cahaya shah alam (BCSA) is located somewhere near seksyen 9. thank God for my frequent travel over to that area a few years back, i could locate the place with not much problems. we used the trunk road from kota damansara to shah alam, passing the RRIM and the new GCE highway. it took us about 20mins to reach there (would have been faster if i were really sure of the road. see, from the last i drove there, the roads has changed tremendously!).

there were not many people when we reached BCSA. as stated, the initial plan was to hike. but because yah wanted to cycle so much, we rented a bike each. we got the simple bikes that costs RM3 for 1st hour and RM1 for subsequent 1 hour (the newer ones cost RM5 for 1st hour and RM1 for subsequent 1 hour. it does not make any difference actually, just more nicer looking). yah got her bike perfectly fine, except that she wanted her seat to be higher. mine however, had some problems with the pedals. so, after an exchange with a better bike took place, we spun our hearts out (gila gian nak naik basikal ok).

we were so excited when we cycled through the park. went to the animal farm, passed the waterhole, passed the village, went to the orchid farm, and many more. we didn't stop long at each spot as we were too excited to cycle and explore. the roads weren't easy, to say the least. the were many hills that we had to climb with the bikes. at first, we challenged ourselves to keep on cycling. but when the lactic acid starts to accumulate, we pushed the bikes instead. remember my buckled knee? well, when i was having fun, i couldn't care. pain or not, i want to challenge my stamina. so instead of walking and pushing the bike uphill, i ran. i even had a "baby jog" up the hill at the orchid garden. call me crazy, but it was really fun.

after about an hour and a half cycling, yah couldn't take it anymore. she was practically begging to find the exit and return the bikes. i wanted to continue as there were many other areas that we haven't covered. but seeing that she was tired, we returned the bike. i wanted to get on the park bus and just have a motorized tour of the park, be a shutterbug. yah didn't share the same enthusiasm. she wanted to go home. and so.... to home we went.

it was a short trip but a definitely fun and enjoyable one. i was already planning in my head of what to do there if i ever go again the next time. i want to trek and hike in the forest, have a picnic, try my hands at fishing, skytrex, et cetera.

lucky for us, yah was wearing her calorie counter thingy (i so don't know the name of that thingamajig). we burned 800kCals each today doing something that we like. better than my morning jog, better than her gym regiment.

so, who says burning cals was that hard, eh?

p/s: ma, i want that calorie counting thingamajig too. please?
pp/s: you, you know who you are. want to go there with me?
ppp/s: if anyone can recommend other nature parks around KL/SEL, that'll be great! thanks!

goodbye home, hello disaster.

do you know anyone that ran away from home? or had the intention but never did? or are actually planning and saving up to run away? or yourself? i think most of us can testify that we actually know one or two or more persons that are categorized as above. maybe our ownselves, but are just to shy to admit it. i know quite a number of people who are actually into this running away from home thing. some of which had actually done it, some, still contemplating of how to go about doing it.

as for me, i have never thought of it.

why do people run away from home actually? is it because of the stress that the family has on that person? is it because that the person is in love and wants to run away with its partner? is it because to seek attention? is it because it is an adventure for the thrill seekers? or is it because of a fight that escalated into running away as the best solution? the answer is always multiple. a combination of events that finally causes the person to run away. never a sole reason.

many associate running away with teenage girls. yes, the majority of them are girls. but hey, lets not be sexist here right. girls are more emotional, girls are full of drama, girls cannot handle the real world, girls are begging for attention. not really. i know some guys who ran away from home too. see, ran, meaning that it had already occured. yeah, the minority of these pacesetters of running away from home are guys. we just have to accept that as a fact.

i once knew this guy, who ran away from home because he had a terrible fall out between himself and the family. i was in contact with jim and wondered what happened to him, where he went, how is he surviving. see, jim was just shy of 19 years old maybe, when he ran away. it was sad to know that jim could actually up and leave his family, who were dead worried about him. i couldn't talk to jim's family,i was trusted not to. so i couldn't tell them his whereabouts. jim left home for about a week, and then he finally went back. wow, talk about drama! and when i asked him where he went, it wasn't that far. he was just bunking with another family member. wouldn't it be easier if he just solved the problem in the first place?

then there is dania. she's is a junior of mine. not too close actually. i knew her through her sister. dania is a divorcee, a very young divorcee. you know, getting married for the fun of it. now, she has a bf, and she is living with him in KL because she is in training to be an air hostess. she's very well known as a drama queen. it is not right for her to live with her bf but her family can't stop her from doing so. when she goes back to her home up north and brings her bf around, they stay together in the same room. her mum can't reprimand her anymore, in fear that she might run away and never come back. see, it is weird ain't it? her mum has no say anymore, no control, because she is afraid of the daughter that threatens to run away. imagine that, running away from home can now be used as an emotional weapon!

candice ran away from home too, but for a few hours only. God, that is funny. reason for her running away was because she did not do well in her studies and she was afraid to be lectured by her parents. she got her results, she didn't think she wants to hear her parents' thoughts, she decided to just disappear. but lucky for her, she had a friend who has a mum who talked her into going back home and facing the truth. so, after much consoling, candice went home. her parents were so afraid to say anything to her about her results and instead, gave in to her every needs. now, is that a smart thing to do on the parents' side? wouldn't that just give candice another redemption coupon to run away again if she didn't do well in the future?

they think it is funny to run away from home. they think they'll get all the freedom they want. they think it is better to be out of the house, to be independent. but the reality is, the world is not a safe place anymore. there are many kinds of dangers out there. dangers that come wrapped in sweet talks and humble gestures. and once they realize that they are in too deep, it is too late. for those who managed to return back home, they are traumatized by the situation that they have endured. for those who are still stuck away from home, they regret for ever leaving.

why can't the problem be rationalized and solved before deciding to leave? is the love between you and your partner, greater than your family's love? is the hate that you have for your family worse than hating the devil? is the reality of the situation so hard to stomach? what is it? tell me buddy....

next time, if you decide or plan to run, think again. is it really worth your future?

come run with me, at least we could burn some calories, eh?

*names are so made-up, and you know why.

akhirnya

dah lama dah nak. tapi takut sikit. tapi aku ni addict. nak juga.

dah survey. semalam tak jumpa, hari ni hampir tak jumpa juga. di saat2 akhir jumpa ngan akak ni. sweet sangat akak tu.

kena try byk kali. sebab aku punya susah skit nak cengkam. ingatkan nak give up dah sebab rasa seriau la pulak. but akak tu cakap elok2 and dia kata cuba slowly. aku ok je la.

last2 dapat juga. best!

in close proximity

this particular piece of hotness has given me this award. i am so greatful to have known such a bubbly person, who is fun to talk to, and i sure think more fun to be with.

thanks nads, may our blogship turns into friendship ;) (and of course, i would love to get to know you more ;) )



The award comes with a message...

This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming.

These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends.

They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement.
Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers!

the other 8 bloggers that deserve this award:

1. tats
2. 13may
3. dr. adz
4. ana
5. babyjane
6. djambu
7. athena
8. ms. vlad
   

V-fib

i was watching lipstick jungle (S01 Ep07) and this part of the script jumped out right from the scene on me. the conversation was between a doctor and nico:

"the myocardial infarction was due to left ventricular fibrillation"

now, do you see anything wrong with this sentence?

"mother, what did i do wrong?"

this is a picture of my beloved sister, ainur amani. ain't she a cute little baby angel?

disclaimer:this entry has nothing to do with her. it is just that i miss her dearly.

babies, they are so adorable aren't they? they come into this world, as clean as a piece of white cloth, as plain as a slate. in latin it would be like a tabula rasa.

so when i hear stories of babies being abandoned, or thrown away in rubbish bins, or left dead somewhere, i wonder: what did the baby do to derserve that? what was so wrong with the baby's birth into this cruel world that made the mother have the heart to do so. oh yes, it is a cruel world.

i remembered when i was doing my summer posting in a hospital in kuala lumpur. i was glad to be placed under the vigilant eye of Dr. Ali, the HOD of the A&E department. we were always let off early, after lunch since we were just summer interns. so, after lunch when there was nothing much to do, i suggested that we go to the morgue. have a looksee of the condition there, the bodies there, the sadness there. thank God my father knows the people there, so my friend and i were let in. we were to change into the morgue attire which consisted of boots, a plastic apron, a plastic cap, and a mask. we went to the room where the bodies were kept individually in each compartment. at first i was afraid, i was petrified. i cannot imagine what the body will look like, how did it die. after a few compartments were opened for us to see, i got used to it.

and then, there was this compartment. he opened it just halfway through. no need to pull the whole drawer out he said, because the body inside was of a baby. a newborn. the baby looked so perfect, as if it was in a peaceful sleep, without a thing in the world to care for. yes of course, nothing in the world for the baby anymore, simply because it is dead.

the baby came to the morgue, wrapped in nothing but a bin liner. you know, those big black bin liners that you use to put trash in. has it come to that? has the innocent baby fell to the level of trash? i didn't want to take a second look at the baby. not because i was afraid, not because i was nauseated. but because i was sad. i was thinking to myself: "mother, where was your heart when you did this to your child?"

recently on the news, a baby was found, still alive (thank God) in one of those public trash bin, somewhere in klang valley. prior to that, a couple was seen fighting with each other in a car. the guy came out from the car, took a parcel from the boot, and threw it into the trash bin. the lady came out from the car immediately after that, and tried to retrieve the parcel from the bin. but her partner snatched her arm and shoved her in the car, and drove off. this was seen by a bypasser. their plate number was recognized and the case was immediately reported. now, the couple are both under police detainment, and they will be questioned. i hope that justice is served and teach these people what are the meanings and values of life and responsibilities.

but i have a question though.....

if you support someone emotionally because she wants to have an abortion, does that mean that you support the act of abortion too? killing the fetus, a life in the making, by proxy? are you considered as a heartless ally? do you share the same crime as the mother?

guilt-ridden.....

coke joke

i got this in the mail. i am pretty sure that many of you have seen this. i am not going to comment on this picture. i put it here for you to think on your own. what is a joke, and what is over the top.

so, it is on your own discretion on how you want to accept this.

of hate, grudge and whatever....

no, this is not a hate entry/letter.

why do we hate anyway? well, for one, it is natural enough to hate someone/something if that object of hate is something that we can't stand, that have hurt us, that have brought us down, that have left a big gaping hole in our hearts. yes, it is natural human behaviour to have that feeling of hate, i guess....

i hate alot, i do. but not anymore. i should have written that i used to hate alot. the slightest things that hurt me, be it physically or emotionally, i tend to hate. and when i do, i really do. it is like a curse that i never will turn back. i even held to this phrase: "kalau aku benci, benci sampai mati". it is like a promise that i will keep. that i will hate that subject no matter what. but hey, promises are meant to be broken, eh?

initially when i hate, i won't show much reaction. obviously the feeling itself was preceeded by anger. i was a very angry person. i want things to happen like how i'd like it to happen. the only way is my way. if it does not, then i get angry. and mind, i show my anger in so many ways possible. throw a tantrum, do things carelessly, hurt myself, cokadol...anything..... that was me then. i was a spoiled brat, a selfish, self-centered spoiled brat, what do you expect?

recently, i was told that i am full of grudge. that i will bring things up from the past to make the other person feel guilty, and that on the other person's part, is very stressful. hey, if i am full of grudge, how come they are many people that i hate, or hate what they did to me, are still alive and kicking and still doing the same old things that they do to make me hate them in the first place? if i was full of grudge, i want revenge. but i don't and i am not doing anything in favour of revenge, infact i am like whatever.....

see, when i get angry, i become silent. is it wrong? i don't see anything wrong with that. isn't it better than me screaming? isn't it better than me throwing a fit? isn't it better than me physically hurting others or myself? i find being silent is more easy. nothing to it. i need not explain anything, you need not explain anything. i just chose not to know. just leave me alone for awhile. i need to stay calm, be calm.

but the bad part is, things like this tends to build up inside of you. you know, like a sleeping volcano waiting to erupt even at the slightest change of pressure in the core of the earth. there are alot of things inside of me. things that are like ghosts. they apparate at the most unexpected times. and when they do, i will start to think about it, start to contemplate. after awhile.... it disappears. waiting somewhere in my hippocampus, to resurface again some other day. is that what you'd call grudge? i mean, it's not like i am doing anything physically about it. i am just thinking about the hurt/hate, plotting a scene. is it wrong? it only involves me. what is so wrong about that?

or is it because that i become impartial, that i show no signs that i care, that is actually hurting? not that i chose to ignore but i find it such a waste of time to care anymore if it is not going to be fruitful in favour of both parties, myself and what/whoever.

i may hate, as i said, it is a natural huma feeling. grudge....hmmm.... none that i know of. i mean like, no matter how hurt i am, i still do the same old things before and after, just more careful. nowadays, i just chose not to be bothered you know, or at least act as if i am not bothered. make me angry, make me hate, i am like...

whatev....

footnote: just don't test the waters too deep, eh?

where is my hand?

i woke up this morning and it felt weird. i was lying on my right side. i was trying to move my right hand, to click on the laptop. but i couldn't, worse of all, it felt like as if my right upper limb was gone!

in the dark, my left hand was feeling for my right arm. did i shed an arm while i was asleep, or did someone chop it off me? i almost scream in the dead of morning until i finally found my right arm.

thank God, it was still attached to where it was supposed to be attached.

but it was numb. from the shoulder to the tip of the fingers. my left hand can feel that it was holding my right arm, but my right arm was like a piece of log, no sensation at all, no movement at all. it was as if i had a phantom limb, trying my level best to move something that can't be moved.

see, that is my problem. when i sleep, i am a sound sleeper. i don't move much, i don't snore. i sleep like as if i were dead. this is bad actually because it impedes my blood circulation, especially where the pressure areas are. so, many times at night, i will wake up mainly due to the ischemic pain that i feel, and then i will change my position. less than 2 hours later, repeat.

the advantage is, i can share a single bed with nana. i'll be at the same side and same position most of the time, while she'll be swimming back and forth on the bed. that is why i always sleep with her when we are on hols.

i hope i don't literally loose my limb due to this sleeping still habit of mine.

Theorem Aliagoras

based on personal accounts, i have come up with a theory about monkeys. their behavioral state has been confirmed today.

From Drop Box

PLUS

equals to crazy monkeys. seriously, no kidding. they are so crazy that i didn't even make it to the park. i was ATTACKED while i was jogging my way to the park, and i was just running, didn't even disturb them.

they are so effing crazy that because of their recklessness, one of them got hit by an SUV and it still could run to the other side of the road, pretending like nothing happened.

they are damn crazy that i had to take a detour and missed my routine jog in the park.

i guess the rain does not affect human moods only. it affects them monkeys too!

condolences and Al-Fatihah

as usual, while i was doing my evening routine, i hooked myself on Era.fm. "kisah pagi di era" was on. at first i thought it was a made up story. thank God there was a repeat on the story. i want to share this with all of you.

one day, while daniel haziq, a standard 6 school boy was alighting from his school van, he fell off the van and sustained some injury. i wasn't clear of what exactly that he sustained. but whatever it was, he needed to be hospitalized for a few hours at the A&E department. on that day too, his mum was driving through puncak alam when she met with a terrible accident. her other 2 children was with her as well. one who is 10 years old, and the other, i am not sure of the child's age.

the accident was so terrible that the car burst into flames, killing the mother and one of the child that was trapped inside the car. the 10 years old child, thank God, was thrown out of the car when the accident occured.

imagine, all these happened in ONE day.

i don't know who are these people. but what i do know is that the lost and the pain is so great for anyone to take.

so let us all be in a moment of silence and recite the Al-Fatihah for the late wife and child of encik kamarulzaman.

currently, daniel haziq is out of the hospital but his father has not the heart to tell him what the situation is right now. they are going through the funeral slowly and letting daniel and his other surviving sibling understand the situation in their own time.

my heart goes out to them.

may the mother and the other child be placed amongst the ones that are most loved by God.

amin.....

ish binatang betul la!

aku nak pergi jogging tadi. tengah jalan2 warming up, tetiba hujan la pulak. haishh... aku pun pergi la berteduh kat bawah taxi stand. lepak jap, tunggu hujan reda.

ok, dah reda. tapi masih renyai. but that is not gonna stop me from running. dalam
renyai tu, aku masih berlari. tengah lari2 kat burhanuddin helmi, "trett trett" (bunyi macam solid snake dalam metal gear solid dapat msg) fon aku berbunyi. sambil lari aku baca SMS tu. adoiyayy... aku punya la tersenyum, macam kerang basi pun ada juga. pastu, sambil berlari (gila tere aku ni), aku balas balik: "tgh jog ni. ttyl later k".

lari punya lari, hujan start lebat sikit. hmmm... aku continue juga la. tapi dalam hati macam nak berhenti. berapa banyak bus stop aku lalu. sebab semangat punya pasal, aku peduli apa la kan. truskan!! gambate!!

sampai la kat taman lembah kiara (usual spot aku la). macam biasa arr, round kat sana. aku ingat aku solo je sana. ada juga hardcores yang lain jog juga. bagus arr macam ni kan, ada juga teman berlari. taman ni mmg fames utk populasi monyet nyer. tgh aku lari lari tu.....



....kena sergah la pulak ngan bapak segala monyet kat situ! aku serious tak kacau dia ke, keluarga dia ke, gundik dia ke. aku minding my own business ok. bukan la aku takut ngan monyet. tapi aku takut kena gigit ngan monyet, boleh kena rabies ok. dia corner aku, pastu siap tayang2 gigi lagi, nak gigit aku. aku takleh la nak lari, takut dia kejar pastu lompat kat aku kan. ada abang tu, dia tgk, dia pun dah risau. bila aku tgk monyet tu dah tak hiraukan aku, aku pecut la. sekali aku dengar abang tu jerit. aku pandang belakang, aku tgk monyet tu kejar aku lagi!!!

nasib arr ada abang tu, tgh aku pecut tu, bila dia nampak monyet tu kejar aku, dia tolong halau monyet tu. aku tak sempat la nak patah balik nak cakap thanks kat abang tu. bukan apa, aku takut kena kejar lagi. aku sebenarnya nak seround lagi kat taman tu, tapi takpe arr... len kali la kott.

memang macam binatang la monyet ni.

moral: jangan berlari dalam hujan kerana ketika itu monyet tengah gila.

cuba

this was his first performance for AJL 2009. i like the pause that he did after the first line. it was, very embracing.

that moment just made me feel his pain.

"hey little birdie, isn't this what you did?"



"Siapa
sebenarnya aku padamu
mungkin sama dengan teman lain
yang bisa kau buat begitu
dan bila
tiada lagi teman bermain
kau pulang tuk dapatkan aku
itulah aku…padamu"

sampai syurga

aku tgk AJL 2009 semalam. aku ni bukan la peminat faizal tahir pun. tapi semalam, lepas aku tgk persembahan dia, aku terkedu. wow, he is good.

the way he sang, the way he controlled his tone, the way he expressed the words, it made me feel his pain in that song. it was simple, no fancy schmancy dance routine. but it was really meaningful.

i love it. i love the song. i love the performance.



"Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu"

nombor

bukan....bukan aku nak ajar korang main sudoku.

bukan....bukan juga aku nak soh korang kuar pergi beli nombor ekor.

tapi aku nak kasi tau ni. korang tgk number-number yang aku highlight tu? ok hafal naa.. ala, bukan nyer susah pun, tiga numbers aja. haiissshhh... gila malas betul la korang ni!! complains....complains...


ok... susun numbers tu macam ni ok. pastu INGAT.

korang sebelum beli barang, korang tgk kat barcode dia tu. kalau code dia mula ngan susunan numbers seperti di atas, toksah le beli. cari la alternatif lain kalau boleh.

tau dak kenapa?

sebab.... the product was made in israel.

check dulu ok.

bai the roti, did you know that israel is not a country? now you know.

Adakah...?

adakah nama tengahnya 'poyo'? -sudah pasti.

adakah aku mau kasi tau? -iye, tapi macam takut, segan pun ada.

adakah aku gembira? -iye, takkan aku mau bersedih.

adakah ini menakutkan? -mungkin sedikit, satu benda baru yang akan dijelajah.

adakah masih banyak yang perlu diketahui? -iye, ini adalah satu perjalanan, bukan satu destinasi.

adakah aku bermimpi? -kalau benar, jangan bangkitkan aku ye.

adakah ini pasti? -aku tak berani nak kata, biar waktu yang memastikannya.

boleh ke?

aku bukan la extremist. tapi, kalau boleh avoid, atau ada choice lain, amik la alternative tu. mmg nampak macam takde beza je kalau kita tak guna atau beli barang2 ni. tapi, at least ini cara kita nak tunjuk kat mereka yang kita marah kat apa yang mereka buat sekarang ni kan?

takyah la makan kat McDonald's tu. firstly, it is not healthy. secondly, aku rasa burger abang tepi jalan tu lagi sedap (kalau dah kempunan naa nak makan burger), murah pulak tu. pastu kan ke ada benda lain yang boleh dicekikkan? keropok leko ke, roti john ke, radix fried chicken ke (only in kedah). kalau nak juga tengok the 'golden arches' tu, pergi la makan kat McDollah. korang tak tau kat mana ke? isk...isk...isk.... korang ni tak hap-to-date betul la!! sebenaqnya, REd pun tak tau juga .... T_T

latte? frappucino? mocha grande? bukan...bukan.... ni semua bukan nama ikan laga yang kedai ah liang jual tu. oh no.....ni semua adalah nama products dari Starbucks. korang coffee addicts ke? ala, REd pun. tapi REd takde la craving teruk naa sampai nak kena minum starbucks, jika tak minum boleh kena withdrawal symptoms ke hapa. kan ke ada oldtown kopitiam, ada pappa kopitiam, ada ali cafe, sokong la produk tempatan. infact, REd ada jumpa kopi local ni, jumpa kat sungai petani, gila sedap ok. KOPI CAP KERETAPI. mmg takde tandingan la. Starbucks mmg kalah la. tapi kalau korang nak la juga nama glamer Starbucks tu, ok ok, REd ada alternatif lain ok. nama dia AloqSetaqbaks. sedap woo... kat mana kedainya? kat ujung dunia (sekali lagi, bukan rumah peeps).

mandi bola, tido bola, makan bola, minum....Coca-Cola. aishh... ni kira fizzy pop standard arr. "ko nak minum apa?" jawapannya kalau tak fresh orange (cerita/drama melayu mesti minum air ni punya la), mesti coke. tau dak, coke tu, dia punya tahap corrosive, boleh nipiskan lining dalam perut tu tau. ni aku tak tipu ok. kalau nak juga minum fizzy pop, minum la kickapoo ke, mecca cola ke, tesco cola ke. nak juga ke coke tu? sebab apa? bunyi nama dia sedap naa ke? ok la, ok la, ni cadangan REd:

"mandi bola, tido bola, makan bola, minum AhKoka kola". boleh?


remember: "it is morally right".

Klang Valley under siege

i have been waiting for today. my wait was not a waste....

yes, today is the day that i became a volunteer for the C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E first wave of creating awareness amongst the people in malaysia, be them local or foreigners, about the current condition in the Gaza strip, and what we, as HUMAN, can help to stop the war against the innocent.

people from all walks of life, young, old, students, doctors, designers, politicians, Muslims, Christians, Buddhist, Atheist, Hindus, you name it. All of the different people were there. as our main objective is to fight for humanitarian rights, not fight in the name of religion. a reverend is one of the main people in COMPLETE, a taoist representative was one of our speakers today, all of them with one concern: humanitarianism.




we came in early today because we were volunteers. at first, there were not many people. we looked very amature with mainly teenagers and young adults filling the gaps in the hall. the banners and buntings were up for display and read. small booths were up, selling merchandises to support this coalition and also to collect monetary funds to be sent to help the innocent in Gaza.

but as the morning progressed, the crowd that started to flow in now consists of elder people, professionals, press people, and speakers that are very respected. our gathering was graced by the appearance and speeches from Prof Dr Chandra Muzaffar and Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, which filled up the first half of the day.

"there is no greater injustice in this world today than the one that is happening in palestine" -PDCM

"you make them pay for their guilt forever" -PDCM

"they are still fighting for their own land no matter what" -TDM

"what we are seeing today is systematic bullying of the weak by the strong" -TDM

"boycott: we may think it is not effective, but it is morally right" -TDM


at the end of TDM's speech, there were a few performances. one of which was from the tree theater company. personally, i think those under aged kids should audition for AF. seriously, they are so much more talented, they can sing rather well, they write their own songs. it is like a little package full of surprises! as soon as the performances were over, the launching of "Klang Valley Under Siege" took place. this meant that we volunteers are to be dispersed throughout klang valley to distribute flyers on creating awareness and to answer FAQs about what is going on in Gaza.

thanks to the mugging up that i was doing by reading the buntings in the hall that morning, i was prepared to conquer the minds of the people out there and plant the seed of humanitarianism.

we chose to go to central market and petaling street area. the team that i was in was headed by Ashaari. there were 27 of us. as soon as we got the flyers, we start the "attack", left flank, right flank, front, back, and center. but of course, being the environmentalist that i am, i told them to recycle the papers that were not used. and to my surprise one of the guy said: "yeah, i know. we are environmental friendly too". hontonii sugoi!!

there were times that we were given the chance to talk to the crowd, and there were times that they chose not to be a part of the awareness. we can't force them. all we can do is try. at least at the back of my mind, i don't have the "what if"s. instead, i can sleep tonite, thinking: "i tried best i can". it is up to the crowd to open up their minds, i did my part already.

it was a long day. but i am not complaining. infact, i am happy. i am tired, no doubt. but my guilt has lessen. there are many things that i learn today. many walks i did today (burn calories, burn!!). many new and old people that i met today (amini and her fiance, tati (my uber hot cuz), filzah (my ex-roomie), kamariah, and many more to mention). many lives that i hope to change today. this is an experience that i shall treasure and i shall keep on pursuing until justice and truth prevails.

as of today, i am also a humanitarian.

when will you be one?

enough IS enough

i have always been getting e-mails about this
that i delete even before i open it.
i have been getting IMs and SMSes about this
but i ignored it even before i read it.
i have been seeing this on TV
but i changed the channel even before i could realize it.

but ENOUGH is ENOUGH

i finally understood the severity of it
i finally know the story of it
i finally know how unhumane it is.


today, i went for the first time ever as a newbie to the C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E meeting. i didn't volunteer myself, but Rozel did for me. i thank her.

i thought this is just another thing for me to pass time. but not anymore. this is not just another thing, this is a cause for me. i will try to do anything in the name of humanity.


will you come? please do....


because i am also an environmentalist, i try to minimize the use of paper. so, please read this brochure below. spread the word. help them.

AF vs AI (bukan 'artificial intelligence')

ye, kawan2, the season has begun. beware, be prepared. musim mencari bakat baru di Malaysia dan juga di Amerika Syarikat Ah Beng brothers sudahpun bermula. dan dengan itu, bermula la juga phase di mana rakyat2 dari dua buah negara ini akan tido SMS, makan SMS, mandi SMS, hidup SMS. maka kampeni2 yang pandai berstrategi akan mengorek dan menghisap kering duit dari rakyat2.

kata sekarang resession? what resession? sanggup ni semua berabis wang nak SMS bakat2 baru tu.

hari ni dah start audition untuk AF kat bukit jalil. kat AS pula, dah lama gak start audition untuk AI. i have been watching la kat starworld, the audition for AI. haish, mmg americans ni ada banyak talented singers. head tone sedap didengar, barritone pun ada, ringtone pun boleh tahan. tapi masalahnya, macam suara tu, dah terlalu common la. takde keunikan yang membuatkan seseorang tu standout from the crowd. and nak cakap apa, kebanyakannya SENGAU. bukan la aku ni tere nyanyi ke apa. but seriously, aku yang dengar ni, aku dah nak diagnosa derang ni as sinusitis patients la pulak.

ada pulak yang datang, pakai ntah apa apa ntah. sebenarnya, they know they can't sing. but just for that 3mins appearance on national TV, sanggup derang jatuhkan air muka sendiri. OMG! they must be hard up gila la nak jadi famous. apa best sangat ke masuk TV ni? and yang paling standard punya line "i love you simon". uishh, betul ke ko love naa kat simon cowell tu? but of course orang tau la yang ko tgh kipas lipas si simon, to get your way to hollywood (holy sangat ke tempat ni? penuh ngan maksiat ada la kott).

kononnya pencarian bakat baru ni semua, is 'bringing people and families together'. iye la, spend time depan TV together, SMS together, ngutuk together. ada paedah ke? baik le buat aktiviti lain together. kalau aktiviti yang menambahkan kan beban (asyik nak ngutuk aja) dah aktiviti yang membazir duit (asyik nak SMS aja), baik takyah kan.

sekarang ni kan ke AF dah nak start. kalau korang compare bakat2 AI ngan AF, mana lagi tere? saper kata AF, haaa angkat tangan!! *silence......

saper kata AI, haaa angkat tangan!! *semua pun angkat tangan arr, siap angkat dua dua belah lagi. dah, dah, makcik, turun tangan tu, ketiak hapaq noo... aaa adik manis, muka licin, badan seksa tu pun bawa turun tangan arr, ketiak hang macam hutan simpan pun ada tu. malu naa...

kadang aku terfikir: agaknya bakat2 AF tu, kira tahap 'rejects' je la kalau masuk AI. bukan aku tak sokong industri local, cuma aku tak berapa sokong bakat2 yang masuk AF. cuba remember faizal AF, ada korang ingat tak dia? apa jadi ngan dia? senyap je. mawi, takyah citer arr. dia mmg aura hebat, aura WORLD (apa la masuk tagline dia ni, sampai laaa aku tak faham). boleh nyanyi ke, tak boleh nyanyi ke, janji ada cerita sedih dalam hidup, muka kesian sket, boleh la menang. sebenarnya, peminat AF vote untuk apa? bakat ke, kesian ke?

patutnya, budak2 AF ni ada package la kan. kata nak jadi celebrity, bukan setakat penyanyi, but all rounder. kena pandai berinteraksi, pandai menari, pandai berlakon. kan ke cikgu AF dah ajar, amik la peluang untuk asah bakat hang tu. bukan dok melaram, sibuk nak bercinta ngan pelajar lain ke, sibuk tagih simpati melalak ke. weii, tolong la, kalau takleh nak separate from family, takyah masuk AF. dok bawah ketiak mak aja ok.

ada juga fedap aku tgk program2 cari bakat ni. dah terlalu banyak dah "artis" kat luar sana, kat AS ke, kat malaysia ke, dah overflow dah. cuma segelintir je yang actually VERY GOOD. yang lain tu, macam filler je.

tapi yang lagi kesian tu, aku la. cakap je lebih. tukar tukar channel, last2 tgk juga program2 ni.

adoiyayy.....

ada apa pada nama? (macam macam actually....)

korang kalau masuk lift, korang perasaan tak nama lift tu? selalunya nama OTIS kan? ha, tu nama manufacturer lift yang paling fames la.

nak tau tak cerita mana asal nama OTIS tu? tak silap REd la, OTIS is the name of the founder's dog. or was it actually his own name...? hmmm.... either one, OTIS is actually a real name, not something made up like NIKE or the likes of it.

tapi kenapa la nama lift kat condo ni macam ni:

mana la asal nama ni? adoiyayy... gila vulgar ok.

a sad happy day

aku rasa la kan, aku dah cuba aku punya level best la nak buat orang lain happy. tapi kan, orang tetap tak happy ngan apa yang aku buat, how?

ishh, memang rasanya aku can never live up to people's expectations la. ada je kekurangan aku, kesalahan aku, kelemahan aku. adoiyayy, kan ke aku ni manusia. mesti le tak perfect. walau macam tu pun, aku tetap la mencuba sedaya upaya. aku tak nak la nanti orang cakap aku memandai pulak. kadang, aku dok atas pagar, tak tahu nak jatuh ke belah mana. iye la, macam kata orang "keluar mulut buaya, masuk mulut rimau". buat salah, tak buat salah.

susah la lidis. kadang, aku nak juga orang tau tahap usaha aku tu tau. bukan la aku nak menunjuk ke, tak ikhlas ke. but the effort that i put, Tuhan je la yang tau. iye, mmg nampak macam aku chill je, macam batu bersurat tak bergerak je, tapi dalam diam, aku buat juga something. tak nak menunjuk maa...

ntah arr... susah nak buat orang happy atau bangga dengan aku ni. oh ye, mmg takde apa pun nak dibanggakan pasal aku ni. aku biasa biasa aja. takde apa yang extraordinary.

tapi aku harap, the next thing aku nak mention ni, buat saper2 yang berkenaan happy le ngan aku. kalau tak happy macam lepas makan happy meal, at least happy sikit pun boleh lah.

ni haa nak beritau:

aku pass semua aku punya final exams hari tu.

alhamdulillah.....

naik tahun lagi la gamaknya aku :D

work

currently: i am working as a doctor in training, doing my clinical years.

wishing: to become a world reknown chef

i am better off: being a GPS, yes a SYSTEM, because i can give you the shortest route to the desired destination, and my memory for directions is something that i am proud of.

secretly: i want to be a firefighter or a US costal guard (after watching 'The Guardian') because i think they have the most awesome jobs!

once: i nearly became an air hostess. but because i was not very confident during the interview SIA didn't take me in.

i have: worked as a cafe crew before, pulling a 14hours shift during merdeka eve. it was crazy, but it was an experience that i learn from. i have also become an english and math tutor at a learning center for kids from pre-school up to form 5.

i had: tried my hands on designing. i designed some of my baju raya when i was in high school, and also kept a book full of sketches of clothes when i was in primary school. i also do creative designing for handmade cards, fonts, or just free designs.

i am interested in: paranormal activities and hope that i can work with a reliable paranormal hunting team, in the near future.


no, i am not confused. i just prefer multitasking.

signed, sealed, not yet delivered

belum pun seminggu derang balik sana, mama dah rindu nasi lemak ss2 la, menghabiskan bekalan kuaci sama nana la, risau kan we all kat sini le, macam macam.....

tengah galak mengunyah kuaci, mama dah soh aku hantar stokap untuk derang kat sana. 3 bungkus besar kuaci, buat bekalan masa kesejukan kat sana. ye la, kunyah2 tu kan ke menggunakan tenaga mekanikal dan tenaga kinetik yang akhirnya akan menghasilkan tenaga haba. kira ok la tu.

haaa... amik ko. 3 bungkus besaq kuaci. ni kalau tak cukup untuk stokap, len kali i hantar yang stock beli bundle punya ok. sebab sayang punya pasal maa.... i'll do anything for you.... anything you want me to.....

raya jauh lagi ma. you nak masak rendang untuk apa? oh ye, lupa lak, you rindu nasi lemak makcik ss2 kan? haa, agak dah, nak masak nasi lemak la tu. it must be really nice to eat that while watching the snow fall kan. panas2 pulak nasi lemak tu..... wahh..... bedesup!!

kalau cili ni pedas, jangan salahkan i k. i dah tanya dah ane tu before i beli. and he said yang ni kurang pedas, then he tunjuk another batch and he said yang tu pedas punya. but i bet walau pedas mana cili malaysia, pedas lagi cili yang you cerita yang beli kat sana tu kott kan? takpe la, you guys need the heat also. kalau sejuk sangat, buat paste from cili ni, sapu satu badan. bukan nyer panas pun, pijar ada la... eheheheh

haa... kat sana takde ni semua kan? meh, balik meh...

pelupa ke penipu ke?

kadang2 kan, i'd rather not know something at all, than knowing something yang last2 buat aku sakit hati. but nanti orang kata, i am living in denial pulak because i can't accept the reality. the thing is, reality, i can accept. the fact that prior to the emergence of reality, there was a pseudo-reality, very well known as a LIE, tu yang kurang terima tu. where are your principles la weii?

you know, people love to lie just to get out of a situation or to gain a situation. and worse of all when dia buat cerita pasal orang lain, especially orang yang dia sayang. adoiyayy, kalau kau dah sayang orang tu, takkan ko nak buat cerita pulak pasal dia kan? nampak naa ko tak sayang dia. ke kau tak tahu apa yang ko nak sebenarnya? gila fickle ok.

iee... geli aku.

kalau aku kisahkan keadaan kau, kau perasan lak. kalau aku buat bo, ko tanya kenapa aku senyap pulak. eh, ko gila ke apa? tapi kau jangan sangka la entry ni untuk kau ye, you are not worth a special entry. ehhehehe jadi, jangan le terawang2 :P (nak merewang kalu, go ahead la).

whatever, asal kau bahagia.

anyway, aku dah cakap dah. kalau uolls nak tell me something, tell. tak nak kalu, then don't even hint that there is a secret that you don't want me to know. i really don't want to know. simple.

aku bukan la harap apa kan. uolls tau tak apa tu 'APPRECIATE'? ke tak pernah dengaq? aku bukan jenis, an eye for an eye. tapi kalau dah kawan lupakan kawan, saper la tak terasa? iye, i am supposed to be emotionless, tapi kadang, hati batu ni ada juga weak area dia kan.

eh, tapi apa2 je la. aku pun tak kisah.

saje je aku tulis entry ni, nak mengisi masa lapang. tengah sangap bosan ni.

happy reading!

i am highly flammable

this is a scald, also known as "wet burn"

how'd i burn myself? hot green bean soup. yes, i like my food uber hot, oh no, make that scalding hot.

no need for a food thermometer. the scald that i got is evident enough that the temperature of the dish has come up to my standards.

i am so prone to scalds. once, i scalded 70% of my left thigh. thank God it has healed without leaving any debilitating scars. even the doctor asked me: "did you had a skin graft taken from that area?". "no" duhhhh.......

padan muka aku.

Malays Forget Easily

i don't usually read this kind of book. but because i was really curious and i was in a hurry to grab something to keep me company for my train ride back to SP the other day, this was the first that found its way into my bag.

ok, so this book was published more than 8 years ago and, yeah, i am so damn backwards to be reading it now. but i beg to differ.

this book is composed based on the compilation of speeches and talks that were addressed by our former prime minister, Dr. Mahathir Mohamad. although it is based on many parts, the way it was written was very fluid that one section will immediately follow suite with the next section. and some were repeated, not because there weren't enough matters to write about, but more like a reminder.

so, we all know that i am not politically inclined. why am i reading this? as i said, i am a curious person, and i wanted to know exactly why malays forget easily. which is, by the way, rather evident among most (not all) malays nowadays.

hate me all you want, but whatever that is written in here, regarding the ways that malays forget and why they forget, i agree with. because it is true and i have the almost the same opinion. i mean, i have been discussing some of the matters written in this book with my friends, not knowing that there are people out there who share the same thoughts.

i finished reading it in slightly over an hour. it is not a put-downer (for me). infact, it woke me up. i don't want to be the malay that forgets.

i think you should read it too. it is rather intriguing.

to kill time

i think i am a very early morning person. i just love waking up (if i ever did go to sleep the night before) to the quiet of the morning, with only the distant sounds of roosters or the sound of call of prayers coming from the nearby mosque.

but not today. today i woke up cold, with a strained back, and a numb a$$. why? because i have been sitting in the train for about 11 hours, SP - KL bound. yes, i went back to sp for a day to do some stuffs. thank God the matters that needed my attention are over and done with. from KL sentral, i took the bus back, since it passes my housing area, and also mainly because yah does not want to pick me up. so, nevermind, i can deal with it.

i love the morning scene. i reached KL at about 0530hours, and i was amazed that even as early as that, people are already making their ways to work. i guess this is what we call perseverance. they will do anything to make sure that they arrive on time, never to be tagged as prudent. i respect these people because they know that time is gold.

so, as these people arrived at their respective workplaces, i arrived at my home.

bummer, what am i to do now? hmmm... oh yeah, i need a rest. my body's aching, for crying out loud.

ok, i am done with my rest. now, my work starts. actually, i was looking for work to do at home.

first: the laundry hamper.


will you take a look at that!!! there are like only the TWO of us at home right now but look at the amount of clothes!! oh wait, these were the clothes that they wore before they flew. amira has done the washing (read: putting them in the washer). so i guess, i might as well do the folding, just to be fair.

as soon as i am done, guess whose clothes were piling sky high? not mine, mind. yah's la. she changes clothes like a girl!! (according to katy perry, very often).



next, vacuuming. this is my routine chore everytime i come home from sp. i MUST vacuum. i don't know why. it is sort of like a habit. or maybe because i love to hear the sound of things being sucked in and moving along the metal tube of the vacuum. yes, i am weird. shoot me.



2 things i can't stand are: a wet washroom, and a dirty washroom. i was looking for the floor scrub, but i couldn't find it. so, what the eff, i start scrubbing the floor with a hand scrub instead. surprisingly, i think it is more efficient to do so as i could reach those nook and crannies that might be hard to get to if i were to use the floor scrub.

and as soon as i am done with the washroom, i made sure that it was dry. so being as anal as i am, i took a cloth, and started drying the washroom. yes, i was that bored. but at least it is clean and smells great, eh?

now that the chores are done, what am i to do to keep me bz tomorrow? run, perhaps....

ありがとう

see that gorgeous header up there?

that was the ULTIMATE surprise that i got today. actually, an uber late b'day gift la. *ermm, i think arr... because his b'day is coming kott. heheheheh. so i think ni kes, "pecah kaca pecah gelas, sudah letak banner, present aku mana?"

adoiyayy.....

want to know who is it from?

who else but the creatively tere

peeps

makacih banyak naa peeps. :)

shuz: stories to tell

ahhhh.... women and shoes. somethings are just better together. yes, in this matter, i am not shy to say that i am typical. like all women, i love shoes. i have no idea why, but i do. i don't actually collect shoes but i hunt for those one-of-a-kind type that no one else has. that is just my habit. i like to buy things that are either the only one on the shelf or something that is so unique that you can't find them in the 100km radius. yes, i can be really anal about buying weird things. sometimes, i don't even need it. but because it is different, i MUST have it.

anyway, back to my shoes. let me share with you the stories of each of my lovelies.....

this pink pair was bought in Kursk, Russia. one thing i love about Russia is that they have beautiful shoes. the designs are just totally different and very high fashion. it is not made of real reptile skin. just faux, but who cares, i think it is pretty. i have no idea where i would be wearing it to, when i bought it. so far, i think i have worn it like, thrice maybe?

this is CAPTAIN.he is an admiral. my loyal running companion. it took the place of my last well-worn pair of Reebok DMX. bought this in Ikano Power Center, just a few hours before i went back to SP.

my DIAMOND-BLAKFAN. it is a CROC ISLANDER. my first pair of crocs. got it 2 years back as one of my presents. it was on my wishlist and when i got it, i was so damn happy. i never knew that running with a pair of crocs is at all possible untill that day that i ran through taman negara pulau pinang with it. very durable.

this is my favourite. everytime i put it on, people will compliment it and ask me where i bought it. got it from MARKS & SPENCER. the first time i saw it on the shelf, it was like love at first sight, literally. at first i was hesitating and thinking if i should get it or not. but because it is too beautiful, i got it in the end, regardless of how much it cost :P.

my second pair of crocs. got it for my birthday last year that we celebrated in hartamas. see the pattern? hhehehe. well, i may not have another pair of crocs on my wishlist this year. but something else that i have been wanting and i think it is high time i get a new one. so ma, be ready. wishlist is coming out early this year so that you have ample time to look for it ;).

my winter boots. bought it in Kursk, Russia. it is so snug inside and very, very warm. so i can't quite use it in malaysia. but sometimes when i want to be a fashion victim, i just put it on, regardless. pretty ain't it?

another great find. from vincci at Ikano Power center. it was the only pair left. love the tartan material that was used to make this pair. very scottish. and, i have never worn it!! maybe soon....

green with envy. i don't remember why i got this pair. come to think of it, there's nothing special about this pair. oh yeah, maybe i bought it for my brother's wedding. as you can see, i have worn it quite a number of times. i like the fact that it has an ankle strap that makes it a little sexy ;P.

there are a few more pairs that aren't here. one is in the cab of the car, some are in SP.

will i want to get more pair of shoes? well, what do you think?!!?!? of course la!

tick where appropriate

betul ke ni?

8 tanda lanjut usia:

1-Membaca makin jauh, kencing makin dekat.

2-Dulu tidur bertemu hidung, sekarang hanya bertemu punggung.

3-Dulu pakai minyak wangi, sekarang gosok minyak angin.

4-Dulu 12 kali sebulan, sekarang 12 bulan sekali.

5-Dulu keras menunggu, sekarang menunggu keras.

6-Dulu darah muda, sekarang darah tinggi.

7-Dulu suka makan angin, sekarang banyak buang angin.

8-Dulu dekat-dekat romantik, sekarang dekat-dekat static.


think about it :P

p/s: i didn't tick any because it does not apply to me :)

high school musical

nak cakap aku ni budak baik masa sekolah dulu, tak juga. nak cakap aku budak jahat masa sekolah dulu, tak juga. nak cakap aku budak popular masa sekolah dulu, harapan la. masa sekolah dulu, aku ni kira budak average la. takde apa2 yang special pun. cuma, disebabkan aku, ada satu cikgu kat sekolah tu, terus dendam sama kazens aku yang masuk lepas aku ciao dari sekolah tu. jap lagi aku cerita k. apa yang penting, byk gila memori best masa high school dulu. ni REd nak share sikit.

aku start masuk high school kat SMK (P) Sri Aman, PJ. kenapa aku chose sekolah tu? aku ikut kawan. masa tu, mana la aku reti nak pilih sekolah. tau tau kawan baik aku masuk sana, aku ikut je la. kami dua dari SRK Sri Petaling, PJ. bila masuk sri aman, jumpa lak ngan budak2 Kampung Tungku. sejak dari tu, geng sampai sekarang la. ain selalu cerita kat aku satu kisah yang terjadi masa kami form 2. aku tak berapa nak ingat sangat. but she remembered it as if it happened just yesterday.

kisah ni la yang membuat pn. azura benci naa kat aku sama kazens aku yang junior.

pn. azura ajar maths. dia juga cikgu homeroom kami. masa tu ada satu surat sekolah ni. parent kena sign. aku tak pasti la kenapa aku tak bawa surat tu kan. it is something yang 'wajib' kena sign. ala2 memaksa la juga. biasa la, sekolah kerajaan kan. mama rasa tak perlu tu semua. so, aku pergi sekolah, tangan kosong la. then pn. azura bising la. ugut nak call mak aku la apa la. aku ngan muka selamba: "cikgu, mak saya kata tak payah ni semua. mak saya kata kalau cikgu nak call, call lah". terus tergamam budak dalam klas. pn. azura punya muka masa tu, macam baru terbakar ke apa. aku, lepas cakap tu, duduk balik, buat bo.

tu kisah pertama.

kisah kedua pulak masa waktu maths. belajar menggunakan anu dalam maths. dia soh aku jawap. aku diri la jawap: "2x + 11y - 5z" .jawapan aku betul tapi pn. azura tak puas hati: " ok, jawapan tu betul. tapi bukan 'zii' ye, 'zett' ". e eh, gila ke apa? aku sebut huruf "Z" macam mana pun, boleh jadi masalah? lepas pada tu, bila dia soh aku jawap, aku tetap cakap 'zii' instead of 'zett'. bukan aku nak melawan dia. dah aku sebut macam tu. apa salahnya?

kan ke nama aku ada "Asha'ari". nama kazens aku pun ada juga sebab tu family name kami. bila aku dah naik tahun, and my kazens masuk, she picked on them pula. serious kesian budak2 tu. tapi nasib la dia ajar them for one year each aja. mmg sah cikgu tu saiko.

then masa form four, aku pindah sekolah.

aku pindah masuk KOLEJ TUANKU JA'AFAR, N9. cuba tengok gambar tu, teka mana aku. ehehhe

kenapa aku pindah? aku pindah sebab mama nak aku be mor independent. sebenarnya dia nak hantar aku gi PERTH masa aku form 2. dah register, dah bayar, tapi last minit aku cakap aku tak nak pergi. burn arr semua :P. bukan apa, masa tu aku takut nak tinggalkan umah maa... tapi bila dah masuk form 4, i was like: "why not kan?" so, masuk la KTJ.


aku wakil sekolah untuk girls' soccer. tak tere langsung....

masa form 5, aku jadi house prefect. kat KTJ ada school prefects (untuk budak A-levels aja), and ada house prefects (form 5 and above). kerja house prefects ni is menjaga keamanan house la kiranya. aku masa tu dalam jawahir house. KTJ ni sekolah yang sangat seronok la. selalu ada house competition, activity yang menarik, dance night, games, macam macam la.

ada sekali tu ada house musical competition. of course la setiap house nak menang kan. malam tu, kami kena practice kat hall, mengikut slot masa yang telah diberikan pada setiap house. ini supaya one house does not know what the other house is doing for the competition later. so, masa tu slot kami dah sudah. turn naquiyuddin house lak nak rehearse. but kami ni kan ke kepoh, nak juga tgk how was their performance going to be. sebab aku ni house prefect, aku menyalahgunakan kuasa aku untuk stay out of house, walaupun dah masa untuk balik ke house. aku salahgunakan kuasa bukan untuk buat jahat. tapi untuk jadi spy leman. aku gi spy house2 yang tgh rehearse. then aku report la kat team aku. gila arr. dalam gelap, nyorok kat belakang bush supaya housemaster tak nampak. lari across field bawah cahaya bulan la. macam macam....

last2, tak memang juga. adoiyayy......

rindu gila masa sekolah dulu.