Ma, I tak suka handfon I dah!!!

Ma, I tak suka Chokia 93i tu yang you present kan kat i barang 4 tahun lepas tu, yang pada mulanya you beli untuk you tapi you tak reti pakai pastu you kasi kat I tu. Memang masa tu handfon tu is da bomb and I rasa cool sangat dapat handfon gadget macam tu. Tapi sekarang handfon tu dah macam kucing nyanyuk la Ma. Geram betul I nak gunanya. Dah la walaupun I beli battery 2 kali, I ulang suara, DUA KALI, asyik2 battery tu mati je. Berapa kali nak beli battery baru pun tak tahu la. Buat buang duit I je. Pastu kan Ma, handfon tu dah super cacat OK. Lagging macam Yayah masa baru bangun tido. Then, dia punya cover lense dah tercabut, cover output pun dah tercabut. Banyak function dia takleh nak guna sebab dah lagging sangat. Ingat tak masa I hilang semua orang punya fon number tu... haaa.. .tu lagi la sakit hati ok.

Jadi... you faham2 aja la kenapa I tulis blog ni KHAS untuk you :) (muka innocent)



p/s: aku boleh bayangkan muka mak aku jadi macam ni lepas dia baca entry aku neh....

beri pendapat anda

cuba teka berapa harga benda ni.

ok, persoalannya, apakah benda ni? ini adalah tea-candle holder. sekadar barang hiasan je. atau pun boleh dibuat sebagai bekas chocolate or telur untuk diberi masa wedding. or to keep small changes and all.

rasa2 nya, cantik tak?

Because you are reading my blog

Because YOU are reading my blog....
I want you to know that being around you feels more awkward and less comfortable. Sometimes I feel that I don't even know you anymore. Like as if you have morphed into another person, a whole new person except for that sense of humor that will never change, thank God. I forgot what it is like to have a conversation with you. But I never forget anything else. Weird...

Because YOU are reading my blog....
I want you to know that I have learned to move on and in the process of that, I have also learned to think positive all the time. Therefore, I tend not to have regrets but learn from my mistakes. But the thing is, I totally REGRET knowing you. You have worn a mask when we first knew each other. I should have trusted my insticts. I hated your cutesy-pretentious-self, and now, I just plain HATE you. OK, this might sound harsh, but it is true what she said to me: sometimes I wish that you were dead, at least I would have known you as a good friend and not a witch spelled with a capital B.

Because YOU are reading my blog....
I want you to know that I don't want you to change yourself because of me. You can be who you are but you have to know that sometimes I think you are lame and a bit boring, that kinda reminds me of someone in my past. I don't want you to do that to me. I don't want to be reminded of my past. I am so happy that I got to know you in the craziest way possible and I am lying if I say that you are not on my mind. It is just that I wish that you are more spontaneous and crazy, like you will jump when I jump. Then when I am about to crash, you will be my safety net. I know, I ask for too much right?

Because YOU are reading my blog....
Please stop being the devil with soft feathery white wings. If you think you are right, don't be afraid. Don't hide yourself.

Because YOU are reading my blog....
I just want to remind you that I am not you. Seriously, I can go crazy trying to tell you that. I am a totally different person.

Because YOU ALL are reading my blog....
thank you so much. Don't forget to click on my Nuffnang :P

and lastly....

Because YOU are reading my blog...
~~I M U~~

ciri-ciri telephone idamanku.

p/s:mana nak cari phone ni? super cool wei... kalau aku pakai ni, semua orang akan kagum punya la. huhuhuh

anyway, aku sekarang tengah on the hunt for a new phone to ganti phone aku yang dah 4 tahun lamanya ni. kalau korang tengok phone aku sekarang, boleh nangis pun iye juga. cover lense camera dia pun berplaster, dia punya cover untuk outlet pun dah terkopak, battery dah tukar 2 kali, still asyik habis battery je. nak on apa2 pun, dah lagging dah. aku cuma sekarang pakai fon ni sebab aku takde fon lain je. kalau aku ada public fon, dah lama aku angkut.

ok, ciri2 fon yang aku nak:
-mestilah boleh calling2 dan sms, iye tak?
-mesti ada camera at least 3.2megapix
-mesti ada front and back camera. kalau tak, apa kejadah nak buat 3g vid call kalau aku tak nampak orang yang aku call tu.
-mesti ada basic office tools so that i can keep my notes in there for when aku tengah menunggu atau tengah dengan patients, aku boleh rujuk kat fon aku.
-mesti ada net browsing thru WiFi.
-mesti ada video player, music player, radio.
-mesti ada ggbiru, bawahmerah, benda2 standard macam tu.
-paling penting, mesti harga berpatutan dan cool seperti aku.

korang nak recommend apa? sila bagi specs dia sekali. tima kaseh.

niat tak kesampaian

ingatkan nak panjat bumbung rumah tadi. tapi kali ini bukanlah sebab Emi buat hal. tapi sebab aku tak puas hati, aku nak check tangki rumah ni: bocor ke, apa ke? malam-malam aku dengar bunyi air mengalir, terasa macam duit aku pulak yang mengalir. hari tu dah suruh Second Landlord call Pakcik Zul (the actual landlord la kan) untuk datang check. tapi sampai sekarang takde apa tindakan yang diambil pun. aku kan hanya penyewa rumah je? bukanlah tanggungjawap aku untuk uruskan ni semua. second landlord yang patut buat. apa-apa pun, bil air makin bulan makin meningkat. what the neraka?!?!

tapi aku tak jadi nak panjat bumbung rumah sebab terlalu panas. tak sampai hati aku nak jadi hitam legam, walaupun pada hakikatnya, aku rasa hussein bolt tu putih sikit lagi dari aku kott....

apa kes?

blinded by her persistent push, i forgot that it is all actually called love.

i watched The Blind Side this morning, right after i woke up. usually i would wake up and straight away have some breakfast. but for these past few days, i haven't been having breakfast and i have been snacking, hence the very severe gastric attack that is recurrently taking place. anyway, that is so not the story.

LeighAnne Touhy, the lady who took in Michael Oher from the streets one night when she saw him walking in the freezing cold, on the way to the school gym, because he had nowhere else to go. LeighAnne, she is a strong woman. she has the power of persuasion. she likes things to go her way, and mind you, THAT is the only way. i would think that she has an anankastic type of personality. whatever that her children do, is never enough. she keeps on pushing them to be better.

praises come in rare forms if it were to come from LeighAnne. but then again, those praises are sincere. she stands on her feet when it comes to making her point across the room, or across anyone at all, even the lady at the goverment service counter. if she doesn't like something, she made sure that it is heard.

whatever that she does, she already set in her mind that that is what is good for everyone, for her mainly because in the end she will be satisfied. although all these sound rather like a control freak (oh, yes she is), LeighAnne actually have a heart of gold. she is very well to do and she clicks with all the A-listers. but eventhough her life seems to be like a bed of roses, she never forgets about those that are in need. and this character of hers, liking to help others in any way possible, has rubbed off on her children as well.

LeighAnne Touhy reminds me of my mama.



really, when i watched the movie, i thought i saw my mama in there. she is all that LeighAnne is. she loves to push people, she wants things done her way, she cannot tolerate government ignorance, she has her feet down with anyone that is in contact with her.

mama is active in many kinds of charity work. helping the needy, orphans, the very ill people, any random stranger on the street, and mainly NGOs that are fighting against cancer. no matter if she is herself fit to help or not, she helps. that is how she is. and she never wants anything back. to her, helping others just make her day. make her have a reason to smile, make her satisfied to see others happy. and i am most glad that this trait of mama, has rubbed on on me. helping people in any way possible just gives me an unexplainable high that only i guess mama and i secretly understands. it may seem weird to others, but it ain't weird to the both of us.

and mostly, mama wants the best for her children. like LeighAnne Touhy, if you mess with her children, you're so done for. she will make your life as miserable as hell soon after she knows that you are responsible in making her children unhappy. mama will push us to the wall because she knows that we all work better under pressure. well, at least i do, i am not too sure about others. the jet black carbon that is put under constant high pressure will in the end turn out to be a diamond that is priceless. and that is just what we are. we are mama's precious diamonds.

i love you ma.

p/s: i actually cried watching this movie because now i realize how beautiful a mother's love can be.

i do Kamasutra when i am bored.

i found this poster somewhere in the www today. it looks kind of familiar. it looks like what had happened yesterday between me and Emerald (yes, her name has changed from Atap to Emerald. that's Emi for short).

but the sad truth is, only Emi had all the fun... heheheheh....



p/s: how come i have a pet now? oh-em-jii!! and the biggest problem is, she smells like Donkey and she just loves to give me a kiss. yucks!!!

a poem for them

there are these 2 people that i know
are they a "he" or a "she"
i am afraid i can't reveal so.

they love to shop
they love to brag
but when it comes to pay time
they won't pay back.

do they act together?
hmmm... i am not too sure
wanna take a guess?
but hey, no pressure ;)

oh please, oh please, spare me this
i'm really not spying on you
you are not even on the celebrity A-list.

the things they do
they tell all kinds
and then they go on saying:
"oooo.... i have a stalker on my behind"

i go on thinking
with all i have
and then i have this to reply to that statement they made earlier
"what the eff?"

come on, grow up already
if you know who you are
there are things more precious than ego and pride
and it is definitely not your car.

so i am asking you this
when will all this end?
the shopping, the socializing, the gallavanting
but still how come there is no money in my bank?

~the end~



*so so so, written by me.

why are you so obsessed with me?

aku tau kau nak sangat aku cakap ngan kau kan? eh... silap. kau NAKKKKK sangat aku mintak something dari kau kan? you want me to beg?

plis....
aku tak hadab ok.

you can keep whatever to yourself. aku sikit pun tak nak.

and yeah, aku takde sebab nak cakap apa2 pun kat kau. so get over it lah ye. you are not that great anyway.

sekian.



p/s:you are so embarassing yorself

aku, suami orang, dan dot dot dot

ok, tajuk topic sangat panas ok.... tak gitu?

anyway, bukan apa. aku bukan orang ketiga, dan aku bukan perampuk suami orang. tak main arr...

ceritanya begini, pagi tadi ketika aku berjalan ke arah toilet favourite aku, dengan tujuan untuk membuang ayaq kecik, bak kata orang2 di sini, aku ternampak dia. sangat happy ok aku, tapi aku tak tunjuk kat muka aku la yang aku teruja tengok dia. bukan apa, dah lama aku tak nampak dia.

tiba2 masa bagaikan terhenti....ceeewaaahhh... sangat drama neh! kami berborak panjang. borak yang kosong aja, bagaikan ais kosong yang aku tak jadi nak order masa aku makan kat ananda bhavan hari tu. dia tanya kenapa aku senyap sekarang. bukan aku tak nak bercakap, aku bz. dia kata dia suka tgk aktiviti2 yang aku libatkan diri. dia kata aku sangat berbeza. iye, aku mengaku, bila aku bekerja, aku beza, bila aku diluar, aku beza, secara luaran, tapi hakikatnya, aku hanyalah satu. takde multiple personality maupun personality disorders yang sedang di alami oleh orang2 yang berkenaan.

pada waktu yang lain dalam hari yang sama, aku pergi menghadirkan diri pada suatu demonstrasi. sila amik perhatian, ini bukanlah demonstrasi politik ye, aku tak amik port pasal tu semua. ini adalah demonstrasi alatan yang digunakan. tiba sesi berinteraksi, dia memanggil nama aku. seperti biasa, nama aku memang dia suka panggil. aku tak perasan ok. kalau kau tak caya, kau tanya la orang2 yang berada bersama aku.

owh.... indahnya.....

**pooF!!!

ok ok, balik pada realiti. bukan la aku ada apa2 ngan dia, cuma aku look up to him la sebab dia tere sangat dalam bidang dia and dia sangat tak kedekut ilmu dan sangat selamba and simple. seriously, tak ke korang rasa kagum ngan orang macam ni?

well, i do...

pesanan penaja rancangan

1. kalau anda buat sesuatu lepas tu harap orang nak hantar "thank you" card kat anda, siap anda point out lagi yang anda dah buat sesuatu itu, sila jangan buat apa2 ye. sebab nampak naa anda tak ikhlas.
2. sedangkan mak aku pun tak control aku macam tu, jadi sila jangan nak jadi figure of authority yang tak bertauliah ye.
3. aku dah nak mula cuti ni. jadi kepada geng ronggeng, apa lagi, plan, plan, and more plans!!
4. aku rasa macam aku suka seseorang la. rasa je.... lom nak confirm lagi pun.
5. birthday aku nak dekat. ada sesiapa nak alamat ke? mana tau nak hantar present :P. sila jangan hantar durian dan apa2 yang sewaktu dengan nya.

tu je la kott takat ni.

pernah tak anda hilang barang pastu anda buat bodoh, pastu tetiba barang tu muncul balik?

*ini adalah gambar hiasan, sila jangan ambil berat. aku sendiri yang snap tu. tere tak?

aku ni jenis yang kerap benar la hilang barang. bukan hilang la actually, misplace, is the more appropriate term. banyak la benda yang aku selalu misplace. tapi ada juga benda yang terus hilang entah kemana.

mama aku selalu cakap, kalau it was meant to be, it will be back in your hands. kalau benda tu memang ditakdir menjadi milik kita, ia takkan kemana. serious, ayat ni boleh apply, bukan saja pada benda material, tetapi pada apa jua aspek dalam hidup (haaa... amik ko! sekali ayat skema aku guna).

dalam tak sampai 2 hari ni, aku dah "ter"hilang sesuatu ni sampai dua kali. kali pertama tu, aku mmg sedar la benda tu dah hilang masa masa tu juga. but kali kedua, aku baru sedar bila aku tengok benda tu dah takde kat tempat dia. macam nak selongkar satu beg, satu kereta, satu hospital, rasanya hanya untuk cari benda tu.

tapi berbekalkan nasihat mak aku, hati yang sabar, dan skill backtrackking aku yang amat tere ni (yes, aku tere bab ni), aku jumpa dah balik benda tu. aku jumpa dalam pocket labcoat aku yang aku pakai lepas aku keluar dari operation theater tadi.

alhamdulillah.....

kalau aku tak jumpa, mau aku pergi cari ahli nujum ni. ada juga terfikir ke arah tu la tadi masa dalam proses mencari.

ini bukan entry belas kasihan, tetapi ini entry ikhlas dari hati.

aku ada seorang bapa yang aku panggil "papa". adoiyayy, statement aku serious macam bingai. mana ada orang yang ada dua, tiga bapa. takpe, abaikan. di sini aku nak berkisah tentang papa aku dan seorang hamba Allah, sempena hari bapa sedunia hari ahad ni.

Pa,
how are you doing over there? i hope you are fine with the rest of the team: aunty, leya and baby A. gila lama i tak dengar khabar pasal you. please don't say that i don't try, you know i do. i call you dah nak sampai pendek jari ni, but you tak nak answer. nasib la i sms aunty hari tu dia ada balas, and as according to her, you all are well. alhamdulillah.

ermm, i don't even know where to begin. it's been awhile since we last met.but i always sms you, especially on occasions just to let you know that you are not forgotten although you somehow tend to forget that we are still your children. anyway, tak berapa nak kisah pun. i mean, i think it has been like 14 years kott that i totally am away from a father figure. not to say that we don't interact or meet, but it is just that you are there physically, as a person, as someone in the family, but i don't see you as a father.

i see my friends with their fathers, sangat rapat, sangat manja, sangat best. i always wonder how it felt like. too many things were occuring in our lives. maybe because of that, you forgot to become the father. but you were there, did some of your duties for us, no doubt.

you know pa, i cry sometimes. but i never cried for you. not that you don't mean anything to me, of course you do. but as i grew up, i never learned how to respect you, instead, i feared you. i don't remember the last time i said "i love you". honestly i don't. i don't even remember the last time i hugged you.

what i do remember is the last time i fought with you. the last time you hurt me. the last time you made my mother cry. the last time you walked away with vendetta in your mind.

bt you are not all that bad. if it weren't for you, i would not learn how to be tough. i would not learn how to be independent and take some responsibilities. you have your good points. like you are meticulous in cleaning the house. you are always on time. you don't tolerate nonsense. you always bring me to our local haunt for maggie goreng. i remember the good times too. do you?

anyway, father's day is this sunday. i never fail to wish you every year. but this year, ntah la.... should i?

instead, i've been thinking. this person, who is related to me, not by blood, is taking over your place that you have left empty for more than 14 years now. he may not come from the same background, same race, but he has the heart of gold.

although i don't call him "dad" or "papa" or anything of that sort, and i call him by name, he doesn't mind. at least, instead of fearing him, i am learning to respect him, as a person, and more over, as a father-figure.

ok, maybe he doesn't do that father-daughter things. but what he does is way more than that. he makes my mother happy, that is the most important part. he supports all of us, like we were his own flesh and blood. he worries about us as much as my mother does, and let me tell you, when mama worries, she WORRIES.

so i guess it is just appropriate for me to turn the cards now. show him that we all appreciate his presence and we are happy to have him in the family. he never had a father's day greeting, i guess.well, there is always the first time for everything, right?

so here goes....

SAA, this goes out to you: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

seriously, i don't know how to do this but it is sincerely from my heart :)

kotak hitam

sure korang tau apa tu kotak hitam kan? alah, menatang yang ada kat dalam aeroplane tu la. untuk store memory pasal plane tu punya status, speed, ntah apa menda lagi ntah. aku bukannya doctor aeroplane, aku doctor manusia.

anyway, kotak hitam ni will store memories from the beginning of the maiden voyage of the aeroplane. sampai la dia berhenti berkhidmat atau dia crash (nauzubillah). tere juga la capacity kotak hitam ni.

bila dah masuk clinical years ni, punya la banyak posting that we have to go through. macam2 jenis patient yang kita jumpa. certain patient yang stood out from memory, senang la nak ingat. but sometimes, tu pun kita boleh lupa.

and patients ni bukannyer pergi satu clinic je. they clinic-hop. dari psychiatry leh ke orthopedic, dari O&G boleh ke Ophthalmology, dan sebagainya. and when they come around, they kenal us. but, we tak berapa nak kenal them because we have met one too many patients.

kadang, aku rasa bersalah sangat bila aku pass a patient but i can't tell who they are and they tegur aku: "iee doctor, takkan tak ingat saya". mmg serious tak ingat. tapi kena buat2 ingat la. siap hulur tangan, tanya khabar and all that. aku hanya mampu senyum meleret and tanya apa masalah derang currently.

kalau la otak aku ada kotak hitam, at least aku takkan kecewakan patients aku. because dalam line ni, to get cured, it is all a hollistic approach. physically, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally. bila doctor get down and more to a personal level, the patients will cure better and faster. rasa macam tak logik, tapi itulah hakikatnya.

at least aku minta otak aku jadi kotak hitam, bukan otak kuning.

kenapa aku sayang dia neh

....because he brought "seksa" back....

huhuhuh


dia ni kan, mmg tahu yang aku akan letak gambar dia dalam blog neh. infact, dia macam nak la pulak sebab dia yang gigibiru gambar dia ni kat aku.

apa motif dia, serious aku tak tahu.

tapi inilah raj. dia suka berposisi pelik2 dan self potrait dia mmg ngalahkan paris hilton punya collection. aku sayang dia neh sebab dia neh lawak, and aku tak pernah tgk dia marah. happy go untung aja....

kadang, apa yang dia buat, bleh naik marah juga. tapi... takkan terlepas marah aku kat dia.

serious boleh kena pukau ngan dia neh.

doakan pemergian ku....

tajuk.... gila jiwang karat sampai leh kena kancing gigi ni.

tapi apa2 pun, esok aku ada telematch. sila gunakan LAW OF ATTRACTION aka DOAKAN AKU supaya menang one of the big prizes, if not, the rm3000.

sekian terima kasih.... :)

dah muda dah mak aku

ini Mama REd.
sila jangan jealous sebab mak aku lawa.
hari ini hari jadi dia.
yang ke berapa?
mana boleh kasi tau.
korang teka arr.
card yang aku hantar dah sampai 3 hari sebelum birthday dia.
presents yang aku hantar akan sampai 3 bulan lepas birthday dia.
pandai kan aku budget timing?
patut mak aku hantar aku gi ngaji kira2 balik semula la.
apa punya anak la....
haishhh......

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMMY!! YOU RAWK! I MISS AND LOVE YOU LOADS...."

hero

If i were a hero
My name would be Aurellia
Not Syler
But i am not
I am just a simple girl

If i were a hero
I would give you the best of me
Just so that i can see you happy
But i am not
I am just human

If i were a hero
You needn't worry
I'll protect you from harm
I'll make sure you smile
I'll brighten your world
But i am not
I am just me

I am no hero
I am nothing special
You won't see me in the crowd
You won't see me at all

But... you....

You are my Hero
My personal drug
My personal high
You make me smile
Even when you are not around

Can i ever be yours too?
Your Hero?

message

aku tau, geng ronggeng aku dah tau aku dah ada kat kl. ahhh.... jangan nak dalih, ain sama eliea, korang baca blog i kan?

so, apa lagi? bila masanya nak ronggeng ni?

i dah tak senang duduk ni.... adoiyayy....

calling calling le. macam tak tau lak my fon number....X_x

hari~hari

hari~hari aku tengok gambar ni sebab
hari~hari gambar ni adalah gambar desktop aku, dan
hari~hari aku bayangkan alangkah bestnya kalau
hari~hari aku dapat jalan2 kat tempat ni dengan dia, tapi dia bukan nya
hari~hari ada kat sini atau
hari~hari pergi ke tempat tu, jadi aku hanya mampu menghitung
hari~hari yang tinggal sehingga kami dapat bersama-sama
hari~hari....