It hurts doesn't it?

So, yeah, I left you already. Left everything behind. All the moments that we had, good or bad, goodbye to them. I forgive and forget. I know revenge is sweet, but I also know that Karma is the ultimate bitch. So, let it be OK. I remember everything. See, that is the problem with me. I just do. Whatever we did together, how much fun we had, how generous you were, how God-damned different you have became, I remember.

So why when I wanted to go away (which was actually what you wanted), it was hard for you to let me go? I mean come on. It is not like I knew you yesterday only. I knew you like the back of my hands, and I definitely can see your feelings from your eyes. Even when I was at verge of putting pedal to the metal, you still called me. I know, I know, you wanted me to teach you something first. But apart from that, it was that lingering feeling that overwhelmed the tension that had built between us, right?

Seriously, I am not the type to hold grudges. Life's too short. I just wanna be happy. So, thanks again, for everything and anything.

So long fare thee well....and I go....

stressed

i didn't realize this until the first wave of exams that day. when i am severely stressed, i get this....



i know....dizzy-gusting right?


my palm becomes totally dry and scaly. at first i thought it was the soap that i used or something that i touched. but not really. even after applying copious amount of lotion so moisterize my palm, it goes bone-dry again in 15minutes after aplication.

weird part is..... it happens only on my right palm.

i am not showing off

.....but......

since many weeks ago, i have been really stressed because there are alot of things going on in my life. some of them i thought i can't handle and some of them just happened without my control. but i always remember what my mama told me, "God will not give us problems that we cannot solve". with that, i stayed strong and went through my days with hardship but a smile plastered on my face.

especially on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th december, i am having exams. i know it is not my finals yet, but still, i don't want to blow this one off just like that. there is not reason why i should not do well right? i had my english paper on the 2nd and on the 3rd was my medicine paper which consists of EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING MEDICAL under the sun. and today was my SURGERY paper.....phewww.....

musn't lie to myself, but medicine paper was not easy, neither was it tough. it was fair, that i can say. depsite the fact that i did study (quite alot) for medicine, there are some questions that i do doubt myself. and since i have been concentrating on medicine so much, i didn't have time for my surgery subjects and surgery is my favourite. there are a bunch of things that i still haven't touched and i came to the hall this morning with the "whatever" feeling and that i just wanna get through the paper, regardless if i would pass it or not. honestly speaking, technically, i did not study at all for my surgery.

but once i saw the paper just now, i was like.....WHOA!!!.... i can't stop smiling and taking my time to answer each and every question. there are questions where i doubt myself, but most of it, i was confident that i might be right ;)

so, there you go.

now, i feel like am rather ready to face the world of medicine and hospitals and patients with something on my mind. before this, i wasn't sure that i could do it, really.....

happyness just don't even begin to describe what i am feeling right now.

p/s: my butt still aches from the IM voltran that i received yesterday. isn't it weird that i can do well in the paper that i did not read for but not for the paper that i ACTUALLY sat and read for.

pp/s: second wave of exams starts on the 17th.

jumaat yang 13 dan aku punya premonition (maaf, aku tak tahu apa bahasa melayu dia).

ini adalah kisah benar yang telah berlaku 2 malam lepas. bukanlah rekaan semata2 atau setelinga2. harap maklum.

dua malam lepas, aku sms kawan aku untuk meminta tolong cari some information for my exam the next day. since kawan aku tu ada kena mengena dengan district health office, and exam aku pula ada sangkut dengan hal-hal community medicine, dia lah orang yang paling afdal untuk aku tanya.

sungguh aku tak perasan, aku terlelap setelah beberapa lama lepas aku sms tu.

aku tau masa tu aku bermimpi. aku ada sms dia tentang satu hal. then dia balas balik. dia kata "sori, baru sampai rumah tapi terpaksa kuar balik. kawan call, ada emergency". memang aku tahu sebelum aku tido tu bahawa dia takde kat rumah, tapi masa tu dia tengah on the way nak balik.

pastu, aku terjaga. ntah kenapa.

cepat2 aku sms dia. aku tanya: "betul ke that you jes arrived but you had to go out immediately because your friend called due to an emergency?". dia tak balas, then aku tertido balik.

dalam pukul 0130 hours, dia call aku.

aku tanya dia kat mana?
"i am at the hospital"

kenapa?
"kawan tetiba susah nak nafas, dia call suruh bawa gi hospital"

omg....

then dia tanya aku: "kenapa sms macam tu tadi? kawan sy ada call awak ke?". aku kemudian explain kat dia that nobody called me and i got that premonition in my dream. dia terkejut bila dengar cerita tu and aku pun sama2 share the shock.

serious sangat pelik kan?


p/s: seingat aku la, benda macam ni tak pernah berlaku antara aku ngan kawan2 aku.

ikal mayangkerapukepundenparangsekeper

one thing about me, aku tak suka sikat rambut. serious. tanya la family aku. pernah tak derang tgk aku sikat rambut? ada tu ada la... tapi tak kerap. but as far as i can remember, dah berapa bulan aku tak sikat rambut. bukan sebab aku malas, tapi sebab aku mmg tak suka. then orang tanya, rambut aku tak kusut ke? surprisingly, tak, rambut aku ok je. maybe sebab aku suka run my fingers thru my hair every once in awhile kan. tu sebab tak kusut.

tapi, bila nana (adik aku yang the bestest) ada, dia la yang tolong sikat rambut aku. suka dia kalau aku cakap "nana, tolong sikat rambut kakaklin". amboi amboi amboi (ala2 idola aku azwan ali), bukan setakat sikat yang dia bawa keluar, siap ngan sepit la, getah rambut la, kadang2 hair iron pun ada sekali. aku baru soh dia sikat rambut, bukan buka salun (-_-").... lepas dia dah puas dandan aku, sambil aku tgh tengok tv ke, guna net ke, aku pun di suruh tgk arr... evaluate styling dia. mak aihh.... no comment... janji dia happy, and rambut aku dah kena sikat ;)

tapi ni bukan aku nak cerita pasal habit aku yang tak suka sikat rambut. tapi, aku nak cerita pasal semalam, mimpi aku. mimpi aku yang sangat la pelik bin ajaib nye. aku mimpi semalam, ada orang sikat kan rambut aku. it seems like she knows me well, tapi dia bukan nana, atau dia bukan family aku. dia seperti kawan rapat aku, sangat rapat, tapi bukan kings, eliea, roz, ain, or jo-ee. aku tau dia siapa, cuma aku tak berapa nak ingat. aku rasa macam best sangat dia ada sama aku masa tu.

bila aku sedar, aku fikir balik, kenapa la aku mimpi pelik macam ni. adakah itu satu petanda untuk apa2 ke, mainan mimpi ke, atau aku rindu nana ke? (ye, aku mmg rindu nana)....

...atau...

adakah mimpi ni soh aku g belajar sikat rambut. teruk naa perangai tuu weh!

coincidences

tell me now, is this a coincidence or just by chance that these situations occured?

when i was doing my OBGYN posting, narisha got pregnant. and until now, i still haven't got the chance to palpate her ever growing abdomen. sha, have you tried using the fetoscope that i gave you? you can hear him by now.

when i was doing my paediatrics posting, Baby A (my half sister. sorry, no link on this one :P ) was noticed to have developmental milestones problem. She was lagging behind her chronological age development. But after a few assesment, she is said to be ok. so hopefully everything is well with her.

when i am currently doing my orthopedics posting, Nana broke her arm (but i can't stil tell what is the provisional Dx cause i haven't seen her films yet. ma, please get them to me so that i can assess the severity of it. thanks. and yeah, do call me, i want to talk to both of you).

my next posting is psychiatry. hmmm... wonder who will be in this category la. hehehehe..... but hopefully, no one from my family ;) Query: Yah (+_-) jangan marah arr.... ehhehe

subzero

there is something definitely wrong with my CHOKIA, and i am worried by it. it has been running a temperature that causes it to eat up the batt supply even when i am not using it. i have no idea what is wrong with it.

sudden onset of hyperpyrexia.

the only way i could manage it (as i just thot of it today), is to put it in the fridge for 10mins to at least cool it down a little. it is working for now. if it flatlines on me, i will be in a rutt as CHOKIA connects people.

can someone help me out here?

T - 9: aku dah betul-betul dyslexic ke?

dalam perjalanan balik dari TESCO, aku baru perasan bahawa kat sini kereta yang amat popular dikalangan pengguna jalan raya adalah 'tomato box' (gelaran yang diberi oleh mama dan shad, pada kereta kancil, kelisa, kenari). of course kita semua dah sedia maklum balas bahawa PERODUA adalah production house bagi kereta2 tersebut kan?

bai roti the way, korang tau ke mana datangnya nama 'PERODUA'? haa... meh sini REd educate sket. pada yang tak tahu, 'PERODUA' tu datang nyer dari 2 perkataan yang disambung. perkataan itu adalah 'PERODUKSI' dan 'KEDUA' = 'PERODUA'. sebab 'PROTON' tu kan ke production house pertama kereta2 buatan Malaysia.

ok ok...back to the future story. aku masa tu tengah galak berborak sama jo-ee. maklum la, dah lebih kurang seminggu tak story mory. jadi amik peluang yang ada untuk hapdate diri masing2 la kan. sekali dia soh aku tengok kereta depan. nasib aku tgh pakai silver oaks masa tu, kalau tak, tentu aku tak nampak. kan ke aku ni rabun.....



ini yang aku nampak. 'PERODUA' dah jadi 'PREODUA'. aik, takkan kereta buatan Malaysia pun dah pandai kena pirate ni? aku sangka jenama terkemuka seperti ADIDAS bila di-pirate menjadi ASADI, aja yang akan terjadi. ni, barang buatan Malaysia sendiri pun kena pirate ngan rakyat sendiri.

macam mana ni kawan?

offline.

so, my bedside paeds assessment is tomorrow. i have been receiving SMSes and calls reminding me and asking me of when am i going back there to the hell-hole. i am going back tonight la.... don't worry, i know i have my assessment. haiz....

but i have no reference to read (-_-")

off to kamal bookstore to get me books which i will eat in the train trip tonight.

as i entered the store, i saw this guy and he immediately caught my attention. but i am not too sure why. i brushed it off as i was trying to locate where the books that i wanted would be. i was browsing thru the bookshelves and the same guy was infront of me again. i just looked at him and smiled out of courtesy.

then, he started the conversation with "excuse me, you are REdseptember, right?"

huh?!?!?!?

REd (laughing like mad): "yeah, how'd you know?"

"can't miss it, you look very familiar"

"how'd you get to know me?"

"i read your blog. i commented on yours and you commented on mine"

"really?? and you are...?"

"....." (i don't think i should disclose his name here ;P. but fyi, he's good looking and friendly too ;) )

"owh!!! yeah, i have seen you in my blog. hey, hi!! offline... finally"

"yeah... hehehe"

how cool is that!?!? heheheh

hope to see him and more of bloggers offline again *happy*

which one is it now?

ENGLISH is a very interesting (Read: weird) language. trust me, it really is.

common: something that occurs oftenly.

uncommon: something that occurs seldomly.

NOT uncommon???
this is a double negative. according to the english language rule, a double negative makes a positive. therefore, "not uncommon" should equate to "common". but no.

not uncommon: it is an intermediate situation between common and uncommon. something that occurs seldomly, but not too seldom, and may also be seen oftenly, but not too frequent.

crazy ain't it?

told you it is WEIRD.

round round the mulberry bush

laundry day is not a predetermined day in this household. whenever the hamper is full of dirties, then it calls for the washing to be done. laundry day started yesterday by washing the coloured ones first. today, it is the whites turn.

i put in the dirties in the washer and load it up with detergent and softener. push some buttons here, set the timing there... and START!

this is the odd part: i will wait for the water to go up to the required level and then when it starts to whirl around, i will just stand there to watch it go round and round and round. somehow, this gives me a nice feeling. i like watching the washer whirling and twirling and then the soap suds start to build up....ahhh.... nice..... don't ask me why, i myself oso donna why i like looking at this machine doing what it does best: WHIRLING.

i think mama oso likes to look at the washer at this point because she will leave the lid up to see the thing build up the soap and then close the lid much later. sometimes, she forgets to close the lid that the machine goes on idle after the washing stage. ehheheheh

yeah, i am odd. kill me already.