the "mak Datin" syndrome

these days, we hear too many talks and debates about the "Dato' " title that are given away for free, instead of earned, like the good old times. you can see almost anyone, and by anyone, i mean, i wouldn't be surprised if a nasi lemak seller gets the Dato' title just by selling his/her nasi lemak for cheap (super marked down price!!) during these tough times. now, it seems that the title does not mean much because too many are having it, for all the wrong weird reasons.

with Dato' s there are sure to be Datins. and i have been observing this upper class women that have "Datin" preceeding their given names. not that i am obsessed by them or their fake extravagant lifestyles. more like i am amazed at how they have become after getting the title plastered to their names. it is like you can almost tell that this woman is a "Datin" just by her physical appearance. no need for the personal history. in the medical world, i would term this as the "mak Datin syndrome"

so here goes. how a typical "mak Datin syndrome" would look like:

"clasp-knife" rigidity: typically seen in a patient suffering from spastic cerebral palsy. the forearms are flexed and if physiotherapy does not take place, contracture of the limb will take place. the mak Datins also have the same symptom while carrying that glitzy bling-bling tiny bag of hers.

the "bee hive": like of course, it is where the bees go about doing their business making honey. but for mak Datins, it seems that they have the "bee hive" perched perfectly on their heads. i wonder if there are bees that are fooled into thinking that this is one of their hives that has been hijacked by the mak Datin, and then the bees will actually attack the mak Datin. leaving the mak Datin with a swollen face and lips. hey, look at the bright side, no need for those Botox sessions anymore, eh?

"thick make-up facies": of course mak Datins are always invited to menyemakkan grace social events. and obviously, they have to dress and look their best. the problem is, they do not know how to put a stop in the make-up application part. either that, their make-up artists are really bad or blind. if you go near the mak Datins and run your finger across their cheeks, you might get your finger embedded deep in, and you'll wonder: wahh!! one inch deep!!



"i was born blonde" symptom: i am not too sure why, but most and i am pretty sure about this, MOST of the mak Datins want to be a blonde. like as if having their natural hair colour is like a curse. they'd spend hours and hundreds of RMs just to make sure that they look as if they were born blonde. and of course as time passes, the roots will start to show. this will freak them out and everything else in the world has to stop, just so that they get their roots coloured in. i guess being blonde is the "in" thing huh?

you don't need MBBS or MD. all you need is a good eye, and i am pretty sure you can diagnose someone who has the "mak Datin" syndrome.

investigations:

-full history taking (want to know how they become mak Datin and how come they cannot appear normally)

-find out the epidemy of this syndrome

-find out wether it is contagious

management:
-tell the mak Datins that they do look terrible.