Thursday, April 24, 2008

attempted and succeeded mass suicide

22nd April, 2008: C2R, after a heavy downpour that occured late last night that prolonged into this morning, a congregation of light worshippers has decided to commit mass suicide. it was rumoured initially that the occupants of C2R have to be careful of this type of incident to happen, especially now, during the wet season of the northern states.





these flying comrades was a small group of staunch light worshippers that have decided to end their lives due to the lack of anything better to do. they invaded the common area of C2R with the intial pretence to worship their ultimate Idol, the LAMPU KALIMANTANG. according to an unknown and unconfirmed (highly made up) report, LAMPU KALIMANTANG did not provide the light worshippers with adequate illumination for their nightly randevous of agressive mating and partner-hopping. this has lead to the decrease in population growth over the last few months. the head of this group of light worshippers, AkuMenatangBodo, has even sacrificed his whole family in this mass suicide to prove to LAMPU KALIMANTANG that if there are no adequate light, let them all extinct (but still, melambak2 kat sini... haiiisshhhh).



AkuMenatangBodo, his wife, MenatangTerbangDiLampu, and their only son, Flicker.



followers of AkuMenatangBodo that have vowed their lives to his words.

at about 0530 this morning, 1 of the inhabitants of C2R, who cannot stand the site of the mass suicide (only Red, really. the rest, if they saw this, they will just happily step over them as if they are a part of the flooring), has taken the GOD-sent tool, PENYAPU JERAMI, and did a mass burial (sapu ke luar pintu apartment) in hounour of the novel effort of these light worshippers to go on strike.

currently, there are words saying that other groups of junior (smaller sized) light worshippers are planning to do the same. but they will have to find another location as the windows to C2R are shut close because we cannot tahan these blahdy flying MFs.

go die tempat lain la. menyusahkan aku nak sapu je. ada nyawa, tak bersyukur....haaaiiisshhh....

22 comments:

Munira said...

Lol!

HH said...

wah.... big big bug... >.<

axim said...

memang mass suicide...haha ponek la ko nak sapu yek...

redSeptember said...

seriously, irritating gila la menatang ni!!

tau tak what these things are called?

dah la masuk umah orang tak bagi salam, pastu nak gi buat project bunuh diri lak kat sini. haaaiisshh.... hari2 sapu umah pun serupa mcam tak sapu langsung je.

kalau boleh jual, buat duit pun takpe juga. ni buat menyemak je!

but, tere kan red buat report?

berguna juga belajar format tulis berita masa buat karangan kat school dulu :P

djambu puadovich said...

binatang terbang2 tu namanye kelkatu...kata org kampung djambu aa...org kampung RED xtau a panggil ape...

freakmie said...

oh..banyak di kala hujan..

redSeptember said...

kelkatu? tak pernah dengar... krakatoa ada la....

hmmm... there are still loads more for me to learn. macam hari tu, ada patient cakap "tungau", red punya la melopong. tak tahu apa menatang tu. red dengan muka tebal peti besi tanya: "tu macam kerengge ke?"

nama scientific dia ni apa ni?

abeming said...

hahahaha....lawak sungguh cite ni...apa dah nama serangga ni?katu-kati?kelkatu?ah lupa....light worshippers pon best gak namanya...=)

djambu puadovich said...

sila la ke link ni.

http://sbmb.dbp.gov.my/knb/cariankata/ka_rujukan_kamus_dbp.aspx?KataKunci=KELEKATU&Type=1

tungau tu pulak ialah 'ticks' ckp omputihnye...satu binatang halus2 bawah family Ixodoidea...yg ni sila rujuk kamus dorland...for sure u hav dis one

:D

AlvinC said...

those are the flying termites... termites got a few types... got worker termites, wic do all the work at the nest... then got quenn termite, wic, obviously lay eggs... and these flying termites, are those that fly to other places to make nest...so whenever it rains.. there's a lot of them... coz they fear their current nest will be destroy.. so they flew away to make nest at another place...

that's wat my mom told me (plus a little bit of reading here n there... LOL) i dun really know their specific name, just know they belong to family of termites...

how come so many one? u kill them with insecticide?

redSeptember said...

thanks for getting the name for me alvinc. no, i did not spray them or anything, they just simply die like that.

but why they like lights arr? damn pelik la...

btw, the scientific name is Reticulitermes Flavipes

djambu puadovich said...

tetibe rasa interesting plak pbincangan kelekatu ni...can't help keep coming :D

in d beginning of evolution, there was no 'mighty' LAMPU KALIMANTANG. so they actually rely on CAHAYA BULAN 'the true guide'.

mungkin bila musim hujan, diorg sume terbang beramai2 hanya apabila ada cahaya bulan. kalo xda cahaya bulan, maknanya langit mendung. langit mendung maknanya coast is not clear. if coast is not clear, no chance of making new nest la.

well, dis is my inference only, wait for my official report in NGC mag. hehehe

redSeptember said...

ok la... about them suka ngan cahaya tu, red mmg tak tahu menahu kenapa la kan.

tapi yang depa sebok sangat nak mati tu kenapa?

kalau kata derang nak buat nest? tak pernah ku nampak pun nest dalam umah ni?

djambu puadovich said...

mungkin diorg berpegang dgn kata2 'leap of faith' atau dlm kes diorg ni, 'flight of faith'? mati sbb ajal dah sampai...hehe

xda nest dlm rumah? simple...they can chew thru marble/stone/ceramic floor...:)

btw, semangat enkuiri RED sgt mengagumkan :P

redSeptember said...

"they can chew thru marble/stone/ceramic floor...:)"

hebat ni...dentist mana derang pergi? nak juga gigi yang kuat dan sihat seperti kelkatu :D

"btw, semangat enkuiri RED sgt mengagumkan :P"

mmg kuat bertanya la saya ni. tak suka bersifat taklid. curiuosity didn't kill me ;)

owh, tungau tu ticks ekk? makacih ye. ku sangka kerengga....aiisshhh... buat malu orang kampung je.

djambu puadovich said...

typo laaa...supposed to be "can't"...

:D

lenkali kalo ada org kampung guna istilah yg canggih2, bule a bincang lagi kat sini. menambah ilmu pengetahuan

seweng said...

hehehe...rofl...

apsal nama anak dia omputeh?nama bapak mak pnyla main melayu,skali nama anak omputeh...flickr...hahahah!!!

redSeptember said...

biasa la seweng. zaman la ni, mmg macam ni la...

ayah nama kassim, ibu nama normah.... sekali anak dia nama aurelia raffique.

terbelit lidah nak sebut.

seweng said...

:) mcm ckp psl diri sendiri je tuh...kwang3...

athena said...

hahah ..kelakar2!

Lang Legar said...

haha..so funny la...
mass attempted suicide of a kelkatu hordes, worshippers of lampu kalimantang..
nie stairway to heaven ke flight to heaven hoho..

redSeptember said...

ni super bangang namanya.

seriously, i hate these things!