sengkang mata

aku selalu wonder la kan, orang cakap:

"you know, I 2 hari berturut-turut tak tido tau!"

apa la rasanya tak tido sampai 48jam berturut2? tak ngantuk ke? tak pening ke? sebab hari tu, ada patient cakap, dia 6 hari straight tak tido langsung. setau aku, by the 7th day, the brain fails to function properly and then all the psychotic symptoms will start to flood in.

tapi mungkin, tak lama lagi, aku akan rasa kott, tak tido sehari suntuk as in 24jam. sebab kenapa? sebab kelmarin, aku tak tido petang pun. and malam nyer, aku tido kul 11 ke 12 malam ke. then pukul 0230hours, aku dah bangun, sampai le ke pukul 1530hours tadi. aku siap boleh function secara normal lagi despite the fact that aku tak berapa sihat sangat.

bila aku nap pun tadi petang, kejap je. gila tak puas. tapi sebab ada hal nak settle, aku berjaga sampai laa ni.

adoiyayy.... tere kan aku?

jari dan jamban

"ceq, hang ni kenapa? hang tak sihat ka? awat hang tak pergi doctor yang betul. hang pergi doctor kaki putaq alam, lagu tu la jadi ceq. hang apa khabaq hari ni?"

"gua hari ni agak sama la macam gua seminggu yang lepas. cuma semalam gua muntah lagi dan pagi ni gua punya penyahtinjaan berwarna pucat sket. gua pelik arr"

"ceq, hang ni kan ke budak medik, patut hang lagi tau pasal ni semua. awat hang ketegaq sangat? pergi la hospital ceq oiii...."

"alah, kan ke gua dah pergi doctor semalam"

"tu yang hang dok pergi tu doctor manusia ka, doctor haiwan ka? hang pergi kalu, at least hari ni hang elok sikit. ni aku dengaq hang macam makin teruk ada la."

"tak payah la. gua boleh gagah lagi ni. gua kan ke lady gaga. gua ada cakap dulu"

"ceq, hang jangan nak buat ona sini naa. aku khabaq kat hang, hang baik pergi. sebelum hang balik nnt, hang pergi. hang jangan nak pikiaq pasal duit ka apa ka, transport ka. mak hang yang bayaq kan? hang baik pergi."

"hmmm..."

"ceq, hang dengaq sini. hang tak pergi kalu, aku pesan kat mak hang supaya jangan masukan hang punya masyuukk lain kali. hang nak tak lagu tu? haaa.... depa kat hospital nanti nak buat apa jenis test ka, exam ka, hang pergi buat. hang jangan nak main2 naa. ni kesihatan hang."

"gua nak pergi hospital kerajaan aja boleh tak?"

"tak"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
nak tak nak (mmg tak nak actually), aku pergi juga hospital. aku masuk tempat emergency tu, aku tengok satu je pekerja kat situ. dia tanya aku kenapa. aku cakap la aku nak jumpa doctor. dia tanya kenapa. aku cakap la aku tak sihat. takkan la aku nak jumpa doctor nak minta tilik nasib lak kan. apa punya soalan daa....

lepas dah register, dia soh aku masuk bilik. amik BP aku (108/74mmHg). amik temperature aku menggunakan thermoscan (36.6 C). masa tu, aku mmg tengah nauseated, pening dan badan aku rasa mcam kena bakar. pastu dia soh aku baring atas katil. omg....aku rasa vulnerable sangat.

then, the doctor came in. kali ni, tak macam doc kat campus. he asked me a battery of Qs yang related ngan aku nyer symptoms. dia even examine aku nyer abdomen. superficial and deep palpation dia buat. and there was tenderness kat area ascending colon aku upon deep palpation. mmg aku rasa perit sakit tu. dia nak rule out IBD. dia pun cakap that my case needs to be investigated. dia mmg had some concerns la. he wanted to refer me to either a surgeon or a gastroenterologist. aku cakap, baik hantar aku pergi ke gastroenterologist kan, since this is a gastrointestinal problem. so, esok aku ada appointment sama the GE and kemungkinan besar aku akan kena undergo colonoscopy. tadi derang dah nak admit aku dah. aku tak nak. ni nak buat colonoscopy ni pun, aku minta as day case je. aku tak nak kena admit. aku tak suka sebab mama aku takde sini. selalu kalau aku kat hospital, mama aku mesti ada.

kepada semua budak medic, korang semua mesti tau kan apa yang berlaku selepas examination of the abdomen? kalau masa periksa, kalau korang tak buat procedure ni tetapi sekadar mention aja procedure ni kepada examiner, korang dah pass. tapi kalau lupa, korang kena tolak markah. tau tak apa maksud aku ni?

aku kena per rectum examination daa... seksa oiii.....!

nota kaki ayam: pasal takut masyuukkk tak masuk, sanggup aku diperlaku sebegini rupa hhuhuhuhhu (T_T) tapi sebenarnya, aku gi sebab tak nak mak aku susah hati le. untuk kesihatan aku juga kan.

to see (the doctor), or not to see. that is the question.

today, i can't take it anymore. i made it a point to go to the doctor. so, to the doctor i went. the clinic is in the campus that is run by doctors from the medical faculty. you know sometimes they do have to practice what they preach. like, they are the ones who taught us how to examine patients if they come in with this or that symptoms. but when i went there today, none of what they have told us to do, were done. and i mean NONE.



i came in with the chief complaint of feeling of nausea, and on and off fever for 1/52 (read: 1 week). vomitted for 3 times already (just now, i vomitted again actually, despite taking antiemetics from the doc this morning. so that makes it 4 times). and 2 episodes of hematochezia yesterday evening (that really got me worried [i didn't see this coming] but i waited because i wanted to see if there was a third episode. but i haven't been to the toilet today. and i wasn't constipated at all for the past week). the only thing that the doc did was the standard stuffs: took my temp, look at my throat and tounge, and put the steth on my chest [at one spot only!!].

she did asked a few Qs tho, like if i had any focus of infection, if i had cough and/or flu. none of the above. the weird part was that she didn't even lay me on the bed to examine my abdomen. not at all!! and no question if i had any pain in my abdomen.

and afterwards, she prescribed the usuals: PCM (paracetamol), Ranitidine (to reduce the acidity in my stomach), Doxycycline (antibiotics), Maxolone (to reduce the nausea. this was upon my request but she said that she thinks it was unnecessary), and ONE measly packet of ORS (oral rehydrating salt).

so, yeah, basically the doc just diagnosed me as myalgia (muscle pain. which i do not actually have and it wasn't in my complains) and to rule out viral infection (but she gave me an antibiotic??). but as i said, looks like there is no difference between me seeing the doc or not, because i am still nauseated and the fever is still on.

what am i to do now?

nota kuku kaki kiri: ini adalah entry yang ke 555. macam pernah tngk lak number bersiri ni, tapi di mana ye? hmmmm.... [konpem aku ni bukan kaki hutang orang le....]

Folie à deux

"Folie à deux (translated, "a madness shared by two") is a rare psychiatric syndrome in which a symptom of psychosis (particularly a paranoid or delusional belief) is transmitted from one individual to another. The same syndrome shared by more than two people may be called folie à trois, folie à quatre, folie à famille or even folie à plusieurs ("madness of many")." adapted from wikipedia

pagi tadi kat ward sakit mental.

aku sama CE tengah check patient apa yang ada hari ni sebab CE ada assessment. then, aku tengok ada la medical assistant (MA) ni, he is always there in the ward, minding the patients. well, he is not the only MA la kan. he is just ONE of the many. dia dok kat situ dalam posisi kepala tunduk, bertongkat dahi. patients' case sheets were in front of him. selalunya, we will ask the MAs, if kita nak tgk case sheets tu. but sometimes, when we ask pun, derang buat tak tahu je. and satu lagi, nak masuk ward ni, ngalahkan nak masuk Alcatraz tau dak. punya la byk locked doors that we have to go thru. and in order to do so, we have to ring the bell, kita takde the access card.

mmg iye, we have to be in the ward by 8am. tapi, even our lecturer tanya, kenapa kita datang awal sangat. plus, when we come early, there's nothing much that we can do. most of the time, we are idling, doing nothing. and the doctors pun bukannya masuk on time. so, kalau terlajak lambat sikit, kira takpe la kott. but aku and some few others mmg selalu datang on time la.

so, what happened was, the bell akan bunyi a few times because students nak masuk. kadang2 ada juga orang lain nak masuk kan. so, kerja MAs ni, derang kena just PRESS A BUTTON that is so near them, to let us in. selalunya, semua ok. but today, aku nampak my team nak masuk, so i told the MA, yang masih tercongok kat sana sambil tunduk dan bertongkat dahi....

REd: "encik, boleh tolong buka pintu?"

dia masih bertongkat dahi

REd: "encik, ermmm...encik... boleh tolong buka pintu?"

dia masih macam batu lesung kat situ.

tetiba......

MA: "korang ni patut masuk pukul berapa arr?"

REd: "pukul 8"

MA: "kelmarin ada yang datang pukul 8.40. korang ni kenapa arr? kami dah lama perhati dah. kami dah la banyak kerja. doctor pun perhati juga. dah lama kami diam. dah la ambil case sheets pun tak tanya. habis kami kat sini jadi apa? haaa? kami kat sini jadi apa? orang berbudi, kita berbahasa la. " dia cakap dengan nada yang sangat kurang sopan dan marah.

aku terdiam, tak tahu nak cakap apa.

MA: "ok? ok tak?"

REd: "ah, ye, ok" [ok, apa pun aku tak tahu. ok kan je la... kang apa lagi dia nak tazkirah lak kan]

MA: "ish, ni yang panas ni! ni yang rasa hot ni!" [dia bingkas bangun, pushed his chair seganas2nya kebelakang, and he took off. pergi wandering around the ward. konon-konon nya tengah 'buat kerja'. padahal tadi dok macam batu nisan je kat meja tu kan]

serious aku terkejut. just because i was talking to him, asking him to just press the button, dia nak marah kat aku lak. takpe, aku terima. budak2 lain, tengok je. lepas dia ciao, we were talking about him. tak pulak dia datang balik kat tempat dia. macam orang psycho. tetiba nak jadi agressive. padahal, doctor lain selamba je. insya'Allah, ok je kott. emo betul mamat tu. kalau patient bertindak macam tu, laju je tangan dia naik nak tampar patient.

ntah apa apa ntah

silap haribulan, dia pun kena admit sebagai patient kott.

a classic case of Folie à deux.

if you seek amy

Britney Spears Lyrics

aku letak ni, bukan sebab aku suka BRITNEY TOMBAK (SPEARS) ye. tapi sebab aku baru dapat tahu something. and pemberitahu something ini adalah tak lain dan tak bukan, Raj, peminat setia tanpa batasan bagi britney.

kalau korang dengar Britney nyanyi part "if you seek Amy", cuba try dengar bebetul. it is actually "ef you see kay me".

get it?

surrender

aku rasa dah dalam 4 hari lepas, aku mmg tak sihat sangat. rasa nauseated and panas badan. tapi symptoms ni on off. tu sebab aku tak gi clinic. ada la 2 kali aku muntah sebelum ni. sampai berpusing pening kepala aku la dibuatnya. tapi aku maintain. as i said, it was on off. kadang2 tu, aku rasa ok je.

but today, today mmg teruk arr. dari hospital lagi aku dah rasa lain macam. tak pernah aku take time to sit. but today, aku duduk aja. aku pergi library, aku tido kat sofa tu. mmg rasa weak sangat. lepas hospital, balik rumah for break. i took my lunch sebab lapar kan. sekali lepas tu.... habis semua kuar balik.

adoiyayy.....

so, hari ni, segagah mana aku ni, aku surrender. sampai nak bebetul gi clinic pun aku tak larat. so, i stayed home and slept my day through. ni masih ada rasa nauseated lagi. but aku tahan. had something to eat, alhamdulillah, i didn't threw up right after.

so, bila badan rasa tak best ni, nak study pun takde mood (memang bab study ni SENTIASA takde mood maa). apa je aku buat to pass time selain dari go on9?

buat benda ni laa.....



another one of my favourite pastimes: buat puzzle.

this one is a 1000-pieces puzzle. siap dalam accumulated time of 5 days. macam mana aku boleh buat camtu punya cepat (aku kira cepat la tu kan)? sebab aku tere la, apa lagi....

[sebenarnya aku main tipu, ada trick dia :P. tapi, trick trick pun, masih kena guna skills untuk buat menda ni]

cantik tak?

saved by the Xero

kelmarin lepas grand rounds (yang aku leh tertido actually. bukan salah aku ok. aku tak tahu kenapa, 2 hari dah, aku akan bangun pukul 2pagi and tak tido sampai le aku ke hospital. padahal sebelum tu, aku tido kul 2330hours. gila arr), ada sesi assesment untuk end of post (aahhh.... finally!!). masa tgh grand rounds tu, nampak lak si Xero datang sama family dia for follow-up (Xero sekarang on home leave untuk makluman semua).

mula2 masa dia masuk ward tu, tgk dia ok je. aku happy la tgk patient dah stable. macam dalam remission state kan. dia baca paper. pakai kemas. cakap elok. aku pun macam kagum arr.

pastu, lepas grand rounds tamat, aku tunggu la untuk patient aku datang because i am the first person to be assessed. aku tunggu dalam bilik seminar. Xero ada kat luar. nampak gaya macam dia dah start buat perangai. tetiba dia buat bising la. jalan menapak kuat2, buka payung la (orang kata kalau buka payung dalam rumah, nanti ular masuk. kang kalau ular dah masuk kang, kena lak panggil team exterminator [Nenek sama Abah aku] lak untuk halau ulat tu. kan ke banyak kerja tu.... haishhh). all his antics that he did while he was warded, he started doing again.

patient aku sama Dr. Cantik pun datang. we all were in the seminar room. aku clerk patient aku sambil Dr. Cantik assess aku nyer clerking skills and the questions that i asked. of course la darah gemuruh aku ni mula membuak2. dari soalan flowing out of my mind, aku terhenti, dah kalut, tak tahu nak tanya apa lagi.

kat luar bilik seminar, Xero dah makin menjadi2. makin kuat dia memekak. muka pun dah merah macam baru kena sepak ngan mr.blind (heheheh). tetiba je, masa aku tgh cakap ngan patient aku, Xero dari luar, hentak the glass pane. aku punya la terkejut!! nasib tak melatah depan2 patient and Dr. Cantik. kalau tak, buat malu kaum aja.

Xero jerit2 ketuk pintu and glass pane bilik seminar tu. dia kata tu bilik dia and dia nak kami semua keluar. Dr. Cantik terus bangun and lock pintu tu. aku nyer sesi assessment tergendala. patient aku lak dah menggigil, bukan sebab takut, tapi sebab sejuk. dia kata kaki dia ada besi, tu sebab dia sejuk. ooooookkkkk....

Dr. Cantik cakap dia nak kuar, nak tenangkan keadaan tapi dia risau kalau dia buka pintu, Xero akan terjah masuk. so she told me that as soon as she goes out, lock the door. aku pun ikut la instruction dia. dari glass pane tu, aku tgk Xero makin mengganas. jerit makin kuat. muka makin merah. hentak2 kaki, hentak2 dinding (apa dia ingat dia rockers ke mau buat head banging??).

sementara aku tgh tunggu keadaan settle, hati masih libang-libu, otak masih ingat yang aku ni dalam assessment lagi. bila Xero dah kena tarik sama orderlies, Dr. Cantik masuk balik bilik seminar untuk continue the assessment. aku dah jadi blur. satu sebab aku kalut, dua sebab aku preoccupied sama Xero punya 'show' tadi. but Dr. Cantik sangat understanding. dia tahu yang gangguan Xero tadi mmg kacau aku nyer flow. and dia juga tau yang aku ni tgh kalut.

so, she went easy on me.

hehehhehe.....

assessment macam mana? pass la kott. dia tak kata apa2 yang tak membina semangat pun :P

terima kasih Xero~~ (ni yang nak belanja hang makan aiskrim potong ni!!)

macam mana neh?

ahad lepas: masuk2 ward je, aku terkejut: ni hospital ke apa? kosong je....

iye, hari ahad hari tu sangat la slow. patient yang berlambak yang aku nampak masa hari khamis, kebanyakannya dah on home leave. so, yang ada pun, sorang je patient baru, about 5 patients lama, and SitiNurHaliza, ye she is back in the ward. so sekarang ada 3 patient perempuan: SNH, KakMawar, and KekasihMawi.

aku kerap juga la borak sama the female patients ni. saje je. want to know more about them. plus, creating a good rapport with them is vital in eliciting the main problem of their psychiatrict illness kan? masa tgk derang tgh melepak tunggu doctor buat rounds, aku pun diri sana, cakap2 sama derang. tetiba KakMawar hulur tangan, aku sambut la salam dia. sekali dia cium tangan aku la pulak. aku dah mula rasa segan, iye la, she is elder than me kan. SNH pun salam juga. but she macam biasa je. KekasihMawi, haaa... takyah cerita la. cium tangan siap ngan tetiba.... dia tarik aku and peluk aku. i was like.....erk.... hari tu baru kena cium neh. hehehe... lepas peluk tu, KekasihMawi cakap: "Masya'Allah, kamu ni wangi sungguh ye!". mana tak wangi, tu sebab b'day pressie list minta perfume. dah nak habis perfume aku sembur satu badan hari2 neh :P

"....itu Chemong, baru nak dekat
dia dah cakar..."

lepas dah habis ngan ward work, turun bawah lak gi clinic. biasa arr, clinics are on sundays and mondays. hari tu, we all duduk sama HOD sambil dia terima outpatients. she will randomly soh kami panggil her patients and sometimes we even have to clerk them infront of her because she wants to evaluate our technique. bila sampai turn aku, i was to call *Mush, a 31 year old male. he came for follow up with his father. aku diberitahu by HOD to clerk him. which i did. but tak sempat nak habis, HOD took over because i was asking close-ended questions, mostly.

Mush masa tu tengah dalam keadaan remission, which means he is very stable, like normal. and masa HOD took over my clerking, Mush minta maaf cause he has to talk to the doctor. aku cakap, takpe arr, go ahead. so i sat there and listen to the conversation between them. Mush is very aware of his illness. he knows what it is called as well as he knows the proper terms. so i am assuming that he is rather educated. pong pang pong pang lepas the session between him, his father, and HOD, the pair had to make a move. sebelum pergi tu, Mush sempat lagi neh. addressing me:

"erm, maaflah ye. tak sempat nak habiskan session kita tadi"

"owh, takpe, takpe"

"kalau nak tanya lagi ke, nak tau lagi ke boleh. boleh kasi fon number? nanti boleh kita borak kat telefon, boleh tau lebih lanjut lagi pasal saya. apa2 yang awak nak tahu le"

"....erk...."

HOD to me, as soon as the patient left: "haaa... you better be careful k"

me, breaking into a sweat: "iye doc, baiklah"

(+_+")

macam mana nak halau ular

ni petua nenek aku yang sangat best la. korang mmg takkan sangka punya nak buat macam ni. nenek aku tuh... fuiiishhh.... kalau McGyver jumpa dia, boleh nangis nak minta berguru ngan nenek aku tau. apa aja yang available around her, she can turn it into something useful.

ok, kalau korang datang kat kampung aku kat Segamat, Johore, korang kena ready sikit la ye. sebab kampung aku tu macam mini zoo pun ada. macam2 jenis binatang yang ada kat sana, sama ada dibela atau diternak atau yang tak diundang pun ada juga. setakat ayam, kucing, ikan dalam aquarium tu, sangat standard la untuk kawasan2 kampung kan. ni ada biawak la, ular la, kalau dekat2 paya tu, ntah apa lagi jenis binatang yang ada. tak silap aku, babs hutan pun ada kott? kalau nak tengok mawas pun ada gak... haa... cucu2 dia yang balik tuh (termasuk la aku sekali)... haa tu la dia :P

pastu, nenek aku ni, petani tak registered yang sangat la berjaya. dulu masa dia kuat lagi, korang bayang arr.. kat belakang umah dia aja, boleh ada ladang koko dowh! dia sendiri kendali sama atok aku tau. ada, pokok kelapa la, cili la, limau purut la.... ieee... kalau aku nak list, mau tak mau penuh blog aku neh. sampai cili warna purple pun ada. haaa... don't play play.

tapi, kat sini, bukan aku nak cerita pasal tanaman atau belaan nenek aku, tapi aku nak cerita pasal kisah benar yang nenek aku telah lalui pada suatu malam. biasa la, orang tua2 kan, kejap2 mau pergi toilet malam2 nak buang air kan. so, satu malam tu, atok aku sudah pergi toilet daa. dia buka pintu tandas tu, dia terkejut beruk la bila nampak ada seekor ular tengah melepak sana. dia pun termenjerit la kejap. nenek aku terjaga.

atok aku pun pergi la cari parang ke kayu ke, nak katok kepala ular tu. iye arr... takkan mau kasi ular tu berholiday lak dalam toilet kan. kang kena batu karang lak atok aku sebab kena tahan nak buang air. sementara atok aku sibuk cari benda nak dibuat senjata, nenek aku selamba aja. dekat ngan toilet tu ada gerobok. kat gerobok tu, ada la barang2 macam toilet cleaner la, floor cleaner la, macam tempat storage for poisons la kiranya.

dengan berbekalkan idea yang ntah datang dari mana, nenek aku amik RIDSECT, pastu dia spray je muka ular yang tengah tercongok buat muka macho nak lawan ngan nenek aku tu. apa lagi, menggelupur arr ular tu. ular tu pun tak budget akan dispray ngan ridsect kan. dia ingat dia mau attack la kalau nenek atau atuk aku dekat. tapi dia lupa, nenek aku lagi tere maa....

sesampai je atok aku sama parang, ular tu dah nyawa2 ikan dah kat situ. aku takde kat tempat kejadian. tapi aku bayangkan yang nenek aku, lepas dia spray ular tu, dia pun buat ala2 cowboy kan, tiup muncung spray tu, sambil mangsa dia mati kejung sana.

Abah (atok aku) sama geng dia. jgn main arr

derang ni macam Godfather punya geng taw.

kerja atok aku dalam kejadian ni: clean-up crew sebab nenek aku geli sama ular....

my almost lover

isn't she the cutest thing that you have ever seen? i just got her today and i have decided to name her METHadone. simply because she is so addictive....

best part is she is and environmentalist too. (~~,)

ni nana pun boleh buat.

langsung tak mencabar minda.... huhuhu

This is a mathematical challenge, and it's been said that:

If you're an engineer, you should be able to solve it in (under) three minutes (more like 30 seconds),
if you're an architect, in three hours;
if you're a doctor, in six hours;
if you're an accountant, in three months and
if you're a lawyer, probably never.

if you're good at math or logical problems, solve this challenge and the answer is the password to open the spreadsheet to which you can add your name to the hall of fame. What is the missing number in this logical series?

1, 2, 6, 42, 1806, ____???

p/s: be sure to put your e-adds. i will mail you the spreadsheet
pp/s: senang kan nana? (^_^)

and it keeps on coming

*hip hop mario ringtone*

[university admin]

omg.... again? 2 calls in 2 consequetive days? gawsh!! what have i done wrong?? as i said, like it or not, i have to pick it up.

Student's Affairs Division (SAD): "hello Alia are you in class?"

REd: "no"

SAD: "ok, this is the SAD. please come and see me. don't worry, nothing urgent or bad. just come along and see me ok, Ms. Green"

REd: "yeah, ok"

actually, at that time, i was getting ready to go for ENGLISH FOR SPECIFIC PURPOSES class. yes, don't ask. i MUST take this class in order to graduate. funny thing is, i have passed the 3rd and final level of this paper. but because i didn't do the 1st and 2nd level, i have to sit for it no matter what. why? because "your friends has done it". ok.... whatever....

so, with 30mins to spare, i made my way to the campus. many things were running through my head. what would SAD want from me? or what did i do wrong? or i can't apply for that? ok ok... nevermind. be positive. use The Secret......

SAD: "Alia have a seat"

REd: "ok"

SAD: "the story is like this....."

....and on and on she went. i didn't say anything. just sit there, listening to her explainations.

guess what?

she is suggesting me and 3 others to represent this university for a national students' convention sometime in june '09. i was like.... whoa!! me? represent the uni? way too cool.

SAD: "i chose you because you can speak and you carry yourself well. we were thinking of who to send and you stood out from memory."

REd: "wow... ok.... this is way too cool. thanks for suggesting me"

my name will go up to the higher authority and he will approve if i will be one of the 4 chosen ones to represent this uni.

am i happy? try ELATED.....

berhenti berharap

hari ni, aku expect semua berjalan secara routine. tapi masalahnya, aku kureng sikit hari ni. batuk2 tak tentu pasal. aku rasa macam nak pergi jumpa doc, which means, aku kena lalu the emergency dept. but aku takut arr. kat sana ada khemah kurantin ni. silap2, aku lak terjerumus masuk sana... huiisshhh... tak nak aku.

masa kat ward tadi, banyak patient lelaki baru. so, aku gi tengok la case2 derang. kebanyakkannya sebab substance-induced psychoses. aku tengok hari ni patients are more productive, nampak derang lebih ceria and ada yang main jengga la, board games la. so, aku join in. aku main DAM sama *Kak Mawar. aku mana reti main dam. i asked her to teach me (boleh?). sambil2 aku main dam sama dia, datang pulak *KekasihMawi. aku selalu gak follow up case KekasihMawi ni. ntah apa kena dia hari ni, datang kat aku masa aku tgh ligat main dam. dia hulur tangan and aku sambut la. pastu dia salam tangan aku, siap cium lagi neh... adoiyayy.... aku cakap kat dia, takyah la buat macam ni... hehehe segan aku weihh!

then, fon aku bunyi la pulak. call dari admin uni. aku kalau dapat call dari number ni, gila malas nak jawap. but nak tak nak, kena gak jawap kan? so aku pikap la....

secretary: miss alia?

REd: yes?

secretary: this is *LadyGaga from the VC's office. you have a card to be picked up, from the VC

REd: owh... :D

secretary: yes. when you are free, please come and collect the card ok.

REd: right, i will. thanks.


one particular sentence yang aku suka from the card: "I see that your range of sophistication extends to your appreciation of good tea!". bukan suka sebab dia mention pasal tea but the words: "your range of SOPHISTICATION". waahhh.... rasa best giler dowh dapat card dari VC. mana biasa orang dapat personal handwritten card dari VC.... heheheheh

then, class kat campus macam biasa. aku mmg tak dengar sangat apa lecturer cakap cause i was hooked on the radio (secara halus) heheheh.... pong pang pong pang ntah apa2 yang dia melalut, tangan aku pantas je cuba nak tulis apa notes yang ada kat powerpoint tu.

sesudah class, datang la Raj kat aku.

Raj: "alia, i have something for you"

REd: "what is it?"

Raj: "here..."


omg!!! sangat sweet ok. dia tahu aku nyer star and dia pilih yang sesuai ngan aku... SHY.... thanks darling. you are the bomb!!

i started today hoping for nothing. but in the end, i get something.

gossip

sebelum bermula nyer posting di clinics tahun ni, mmg macam2 gossip yang aku dengar pasal posting2 yang kami akan lalui ni. pasal lecturers yang super garang and super susah untuk deal with. pasal posting yang mmg taxing sampai budak boleh nangis sebab tension atau sebab kena marah. pasal posting yang suka buat students macam bangang sebab biarkan students terkapai2 tak tahu nak buat apa. pasal macam macam ada la, pendek kata.

aku bila dengar ni semua, aku mmg risau juga. i feel like setelah aku dipilih untuk jadi GL, sure aku akan kena jadi first person untuk beroperasi sama orang2 atasan setiap department and take in all they have for the students. i mean, masa aku kat ortho, aku mmg dengar that the lecturers mmg garang and banyak hal. tu mmg betul, aku tak nafikan. tapi, pada pendapat aku, mereka tak la seteruk mana. yes, sometimes derang press kami tak ingat punya, tapi aku cakap kat team aku, takpe, kita sabar. kalau tak puas hati, kita kena suarakan. kalau derang tak nak terima pendapat kita takpe, at least we are in the upper hand because we voice out our opinions. posting ortho dah habis. seriously, people akan rasa gembira sangat bila graduate from posting neh. aku tak kurang juga. tapi, after awhile, aku honestly cakap la, aku mmg rindu nak balik sana. takpe la kerja lebih, aku suka. pasal gossip yang aku dengar? aku rasa, team aku lalui posting tu with flying colours jek. betul tak team?

sekarang kat psy pulak. memula, first 3 weeks kami under university staff. ok la. takde apa sangat kerja. clerk, discuss, role play, nothing much. no matter how much i tried, aku mmg takleh suka posting ni sebab it is too slow for me. tak banyak mobility. banyak cakap and banyak duduk, aku mana suka. then sekarang, dah masuk minggu ke-4, we are under the hospital staff pula. under hospital staff neh, banyak pergi clinic, ada program home visit, ada grand rounds and ada community rounds. masa aku dengar ada home visit, aku excited. aku nak pergi. tapi bila aku ask around, the word was, "alah, kalau pergi home visit tu, nnt tak buat apa pun. derang takkan layan ko punya. kau akan tercongok je kat situ". sebab ni, team aku tak nak pergi. but aku kata kat derang, jgn la macam ni kan. kita blom cuba, kita takkan tahu. at least try pergi sekali, apa2 jadi, kita akan tahu first hand macam mana home visit tu actually works.

pastu grand rounds: katanya they will only talk about admin things. nothing to do with what we are supposed to be learning. iye la, mmg ada cakap pasal admin things. tapi bila korang dengar bebetul, they mention the treatment and management that they are administering to the specific patient. kan ke itu something for us to learn? also, bila kita kerja nnt, we will be facing admin things juga, we will have to face many sides of a situation. if we don't know how it works now, nnt masa kerja nnt macam mana? nak terlopong sana?

pasal community rounds pula. dengar kata that they don't talk about anything but about what goes on masa home visit. apa keadaan rumah patient la, cerita patient la apa la. iye, mmg derang bincang pasal tu. but derang bincang juga pasal the meds that are given. korang tak dengar ke? pastu, korang nak complain yang derang pass kueh mueh depan korang masa meeting tu, but never offered korang any. so what? korang pergi sana untuk belajar kan? bukan untuk makan. pasal derang nak offer ke tak nak ke, itu hak derang la, kenapa nak kisah? tadi masa team aku pergi community rounds, ok je. takde pun derang passing2 kueh ke apa. hidangan tu mmg ada la kat situ. but mainly, they were discussing patient issues.

then ada yang cakap yang Dr. Cantik tu very particular about time. tak kasi korang balik awal. tapi tadi, Alhamdulillah, we got to go off early, provided that we gave a good enough reason: ada PBL (problem-based learning). dia tak marah pun. dia selamba bomba je. cuma dia cakap, kalau boleh balik on time, masuk ward pun mesti on time ok. we definitely agreed to that.

pasal SN Comey yang korang kata garang sangat tuh, aku tgk tadi dia ok je. takde pulak nak marah2 ke apa. tu aku tak pasti sangat la pun because i haven't deal with her directly. but so far, so good.

jadi, pengajaran nya di sini, sila lah jgn asyik nak bergossip je. kadang2 benda ni jadi betul sebab we conform to it, we dare not change it. tu sebab benda itu akan static and takkan ada improvement. cuba think outside the box. stop gossiping, try changing instead. maybe it is impossible to change them, but i believe impossible is nothing. kita je perlu optimistic sikit.

pas ni, kalau ada gossip yang pass my way, aku dengar je la. but i will take my chances to see it for myself, betul ke tidak.

she kissed a girl

ada sekali tu, aku pergi bandar sengsorang. jalan2 cari benda. masa dekat2 nak balik tu, aku jalan la kat row of shops neh, and i saw one old lady being aggressive. marah2 tak tentu pasal. screaming at God-knows-what and shouting her anger out in public. people were just staring at her. immediately, aku bisik dalam hati aku: "i am so going to see you in the [psychiatric] ward soon".

true enough, selang beberapa hari tu, dia mmg dah kena admit. bukan aku doakan dia masuk wad mental. but she needs help, and help was what she was getting when she was admitted. once aku nampak dia dalam ward, i tried to speak to her. tried to understand what made her so angry. initially, cara dia jawap tu, mmg garang la. but aku tak give up. i kept on asking. mengiyakan aja apa yang dia cakap. then, tetiba dia blah, dah tak nak cakap ngan aku.... takpe... i let her go do what she wants.

then, days passed. aku tak cakap ngan dia. but instead, masa aku tgh interview patients lain, she will come and say something (serious takleh nak faham sangat apa dia cakap because of her loghat and also she was talking irrelevantly) to me. aku layan, just to show her that i am open for her to tell me anything. there are times, when i am alone sitting kat meja interview tu, she will come. asked to see my watch and complimented it. after that, i will ask her back if she has one. and then the story will flow....

day after day, i saw her getting better. less angry, more calm. i didn't follow up her case from her case sheet. i just observed her daily. for some reason, she does not talk to others as calmly while she was talking to me. today, aku tgk dia dah tukar baju. instead of wearing the ward clothes, she already changed into her daily clothes. mmg selalu tgk scene ni. pesakit akan tukar baju, in hope nak balik. but after that, kena salin balik sebab they are not discharged yet, they can't be anyway.

so, i walked passed *Mak Miah, who was already changed into her own baju kurung and donning her orange tudung. i asked if she was discharged already, and she said that she is going home. she was still saying some things, but aku totally tak faham. aku cuma mampu angguk and senyum pada dia. then Mak Miah hulur tangan. so, aku salam tangan dia. she usually does that anyway, for the last few days. but today was different. tetiba, Mak Miah pegang bahu aku and pulled me close to her. she kissed my cheeks like how a grandma would kiss her grandchild. aku terkejut. the nurses, the patients, the others, they were looking at the scene. shock was on their faces.

lepas Mak Miah cium pipi aku, aku cakap kat dia, jaga diri. and true enough, hari ni mmg Mak Miah kena discharge, which means she is well enough to be out there again.

tak sangka pula that Mak Miah rasa rapat ngan aku.... tetiba terasa rindu pula pada nenek aku sendiri.

Alhamdulillah... aku doakan Mak Miah akan sembuh secepatnya....

duty roster

alo!! ingat ni zaman sekolah ke? nak buat roster bersih rumah ni. aku pantang betul la. dulu ok je, ni tetiba nak buat roster lak. kau pehal?

just because kau ada la sekali dua, sapu rumah, mop rumah, ko nak kecoh. budak lain basuh toilet, ada yang bersihkan cobweb, buang sampah umah, sampah KAU, tak pulak kau kecoh? please la. kau buat kerja kau nampak, orang lain buat kerja, kau tak nampak. lagi kau nak kata rumah kotor la apa la. iye la. semua busy sekarang. saper yang free, buat la. tak nak buat, jgn buat. kau tak tahan kotor, kau bersihkan.

aku dengar, ada sekali tu, sampai berbau satu umah sebab sampah tak buang. kau ada kat umah kenapa kau tak buang?

kau ni ok sebenarnya. tapi bila dah kau cadang macam ni, aku rasa kau ni dah mula berkira la pulak.

kau pehal? menopause ke?

please la... takyah la rigid na...

aku bukan tak suka kau, aku tak suka cadangan tak bernas ni ye.

bak duit!!

"semua orang WAJIB bayar rm3, tak kira korang pergi ke tak pergi majlis tu"

korok kau! aku angin betul la nak paksa2 macam ni. bukan aku nak kira sangat pasal duit tu. tapi apa yang aku tak puas hati, kau siapa nak buat command VETO macam tu? bila aku soal mana duit yang bayar dulu, kau cakap duit tu dah nak habis la apa la. ni yang aku nak tgk bukti ni. sikit2 dah nak habis, sikit2 tak cukup. mana duit tu pergi, kami semua tak tahu.

cuba la soh kawan kau yang lagi satu yang selalu ikut telunjuk kau tu, cuba suruh dia setiap bulan buat powerpoint statement, present kat semua, tunjuk mana pergi duit yang kami bayar. at least, orang tak akan question kan.

ni tak, tau tau, nak duit. nak beli hadiah la apa la. aku boleh imagine la hadiah yang korang beli. mesti yang stock barang hiasan yang ntah apa apa ntah. because the last aku ingat, aku nampak korang beli idol untuk seseorang kan? pakai duit yang semua orang bayar kan?

ntah apa apa ntah.

kau ingat mak aku chop duit ke?

slumdog thousandaire (the BOH's 80th anniversary carnival story)

haaa.... amik ko! 3 hari aku tak blogging, boleh? rindu tak? sure sure rindu kan? huhuhhuh..... ok ok ... bukan apa, aku agak tidak stabil sikit semenjak 2 hari lepas. maybe sebab aku rush kott... so, sekarang dah agak stabil, meh aku cerita sikit apa dah jadi masa telematch tuh....



malam sebelum telematch tu, aku dah anxious gila dah. aku tido pukul 2pagi sebab aku tengok cerita keluarga 69. kekekekke... lawak seyy. pukul 0530pagi aku dah bangun dah. aku bangun pack semua barang aku sebab aku risau la kan, takut tak sempat lepas telematch tu, aku kena rush amik bus untuk balik kedah lak.

siap2 pagi tu, kami bertolak awal la. sebab aku tak ingat jalan nak pergi ke zoo negara. so, i took a road that was mentioned to me. main redah jek. drive pun tahap kura2 kena parkinson punya speed la. tau2, tak sampai 40mins, kami dah sampai pun kat zoo negara. awal gila lak tu. aku ingat park kat luar la kan, senang sikit nak ciao nnt. nak elak crowd and also nak elak kena bayar parking. sekali dah dpat spot baekk punya, ada lak aney ni datang: "4 ringgit" kepala batas betul! park dah la sikit punya jauh, harga still the same macam parking kat dalam. sabar2.....

so, sampai awal, kami register kat first check point. dapat tikets and participant badges. since we had time in our hands, we meronda la dalam zoo tu. tengok the animals yang dah lama tak tengok we all. derang rindu tu. cuba korang tengok baby giraffe tu, siap tersipu2 malu lagi tgk kami datang melawat dia. boleh?

jalan punya jalan, finally jumpa la tapak carnival tu. takde apa lagi. derang masih tengah set up. we were the first to arrive. so, survey la benda apa kena buat. kami dah start strategizing, who will be playing in what game. then, when the carnival unofficially began, we were given a passbook upon 2nd registration. siap dapat tikar lagi untuk picnic kat situ. mmg fun la.

the official contest started with a set of 50 Qs to be answered. i was the first to grab the folder, maklum la, kiasu maa... we had 30mins to answer all the questions as correctly as we can. the answers were all over the carnival area. we had to ask, and even begged for the answers. aku tanya kieran, aku tanya hunny, aku tanya rachel, even hubby kepada cucu J.A Russell (founder of BOH) pun aku tanya. semata2 nak dapt jawapan. when the 30mins were up, it was time for picnic lunch. tu yang best tuh. dah la lapar gila. lauk yang derang serve lak mmg sedap. masa kami tgh lunch, derang periksa the answer sheets and kira markah. out of 80 teams, only 8 will be picked. so, while still waiting, aku sama yah gi main gasing, quilla and quida main guli. main congkak la, batu seremban la... semua yang ada... semua kami cuba.

after about 1 hour of waiting, it was time for the announcement. aku dah pesan dah sama the girls. aku cakap kalau tak dapat ni, takpe la. we head back. lagipun, aku nak kena balik kedah kan. and they all agreed. kieran was holding the paper with the 8 teams, and aku cuma mampu diri sana and tunggu. sekali tengok, the first team that was called were: "team ALIA ASHA'ARI"!!! . omg... masa tu... aku punya elated, mmg takleh nak bayang la. i was so so so so damn happy masa tu.

and oh yeah, remember masa aku masuk KCK dulu? my partner, Lut, he was there. he has his own team and who knew that we were to compete against each other. but there were such darlings that they were supporting us and we were also cheering for them. and as if the universe spoke, his team too made it to the final 8.

the games were very trivial la. tapi mmg require skills. especially yang bab kena tarik teh tu. that task was given to the Chef, Yah. aku rasa, kalau i was put to do that task, i don't think i could have done any better. but she tried her best, that i knew and i was happy because out of the 8 teams, only our team was supported by the FlyFm MyVi troopers gang. gila best la. they were cheering us on. and they were dead funny.

after all the games were done, and the scores tallied, we only managed to get the consolation prize. takpe la... janji we were the final 8. tu pun aku dah happy and the main thing is, we enjoyed ourselves to the max. tapi yang paling terkejut tu, the grand prize winner was a team that was an underdog. nak kata slumdog thousandaire... haaa... ni la dia. serious tak sangka that they won. i thot that Lut's team was going to win that i even congratulated him before they annouced the winner. after the announcement, even some of the officials there made that "WTF?" look. tapi nak buat macam mana, dah rezeki orang, kita tumpang lah gembira kan?

nevermind... there is always a next time. i know the law of attraction works. berbaloi juga aku balik KL just for this ;)

doakan pemergian ku....

tajuk.... gila jiwang karat sampai leh kena kancing gigi ni.

tapi apa2 pun, esok aku ada telematch. sila gunakan LAW OF ATTRACTION aka DOAKAN AKU supaya menang one of the big prizes, if not, the rm3000.

sekian terima kasih.... :)

sins

ANGER

1. Who did you last get angry with?
* myself for being lazy and fat

2. What is your weapon of choice?
* my silence

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
* yes, if i NEEDED to

4. How about of the same sex?
* only to protect myself

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
* Yah

6. What is your pet peeve?
* pretentious people

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let go easily?
* i used to keep 'em. but not anymore. i am learning to let go....

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a while?
* eat less

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
* last saturday, i woke up at 11am (i really did enjoy my sleep because i finally slept of at 0500hours)

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
* Abah

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
* i've got to go (where? why?)

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones)?
* yes, especially from PETRONAS

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
* last 2 days (i feel bad that i am lapsing for 2 days already)

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
* never. i wake up at the first buzz.


GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yummy beverage of choice?
* Heinsen's sugar-free rootbeer

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
* fish meat

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
* i don't drink. it is a sin that i won't take a chance at

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
* no. but i was under medical diet supervision when i was 12

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
* definitely. i am overweight... i think...

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
* spicy

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "LUNCH"?
* no! iewwww......


LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
* uncountable (dude, i am working in a hospital. what do you think?)

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
* shhhh.... it is a secret.... hehehehhe..... LOL~~

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
* not really

4. Have you "done it"?
* no. i am saving it for my marriage.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
* his smile

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
* no

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
* no!!


GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
* 0

2. What's your guilty pleasure hangout spot?
* a shoe shop that has big-sized shoes and of course, CROCS store

3. If you had 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?
* save, invest, to my mama, to charity, finally... shoes!!!

4. Would you rather be rich or famous?
* rich

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
* i'll accept that, get the megabucks, turn the whole concept around, and make it fun!

6. Have you ever stolen anything?
* no

7. How many MP3's are on your hard drive?
* many lorhh!

PRIDE

1. What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of?
* be the first to assist an accident victim

2. What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
* i don't know. ma, mind telling them for me? (actually, i also want to know)

3. What's one thing you would like to accomplish in your life?
* be a surgeon

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
* sometimes... but when i realize my weaknesses... then i'll be ok

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
* does Kan Cheong Kitchen counts?

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
* can't remember

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
* i washed the car


ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
* intelligence

2. Who would you want to replace on a talk show with?
* ellen degeneres

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
* donald trump

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
* yes, many times

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
* YES ALWAYS

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
* being slim no matter what!

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
* no, for what??

The final question... Just for fun...

Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
* pride: what is wrong with that?

nasib

abang MA: "Xero! kamu buat apa tu?!"

Xero: "saya tolong dia buka ikat ni bang. kesian kat dia"

~~masa tu Xero tgh buka the restraining belt of another patient who was under restraint

abang MA: "kamu jangan nak memandai2. berhernti!! pergi naik kat atas katil kamu. kamu nak kena ikat ke? pergi duduk sana!"

Xero: "ye, ye, saya naik kat katil saya la"

~~katil Xero kat sebelah je katil patient yang dia cuba 'selamatkan' tu

~~untuk mengelakkan Xero buat hal lagi, abang MA tu mula mengikat Xero di atas katil dia. Dari jauh, Razif sama KungFuMaster nampak apa yang abang MA tgh buat. cepat mereka berlari ke arah katil Xero. aku ingat, mereka nak protes, nak tolong 'selamatkan' Xero pula.

Razif: "cepat2 KFM, kau ikat kat kaki dia, aku ikat tangan dia"

KFM: "ye, aku ikat kuat2, nanti dia tak boleh kacau lagi"

Xero: "owww!!! owww!!! sakit la. jangan la ikat ketat2"

abang MA: tak yah nak buat banyak kerja because nampak gayanya Razif sama KFM mmg bersungguh2 mengikat Xero.

aku: wondering: apa la nasib si Xero, mula2 nak selamatkan patient yang kena ikat, pastu dia pula yang kena ikat dengan patient lain yang rasa lebih selamat bila Xero tak mundar mandir dalam ward tu.....

haaiiii.... nasib....nasib....

where are you?

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her... "

~anonymous

aku + kahwin = no comment

mamat tere ni punya kerja. sila contact dia kalau nak service dia.

kahwin. siapa tak nak kahwin. semua orang pun nak kahwin kan? siuman, ke tak siuman ke. ada masalah mental atau stable ke, semua pun nak mendirikan rumah tangga. tak kurang juga sama patients aku kat ward tu.

Razif: dia ni hari2 cakap dia nak kuar dari ward tu. offlate, he is very agressive, marahkan dr. mixed yang tak kasi dia balik lagi because he is not that stable. dia marahkan kan sangat sama dr. tu sebab dia kata dia nak kuar, dia nak kahwin sama Mira, gf dia. but because dia tak dapat kuar, his mood become more labile. kejap ok, most of the time, dia agressive. dia berkasar sama other patients. ada satu pakcik dah makan penampar Razif, just because pakcik tu nak tukar footwear sama student psychologist yang tengah posting kat ward tu.

Mimi: tadi, Mimi dok borak sama aku. we were talking about alot of things. one of it was .... kahwin. Mimi is 33, but she is still single. dia risau sangat yang dia tak kahwin lagi. dia nak anak, dia nak family. dia rasa macam masa dia dah suntuk. but i consolled her. i tell her not to worry. sekarang ni zaman modern, dah takde yang kahwin2 muda dah. kalau ada pun, remote cases la. dia tanya, kenapa zaman dulu senang, umur 15 tahun pun dah kahwin. i told her, kahwin doesn't gerenti your happyness. you have to secure your own happyness. build your life, baru fikir pasal nak kahwin. women musn't be dependent on men. aku bukan feminist. tapi ini adalah reality.

Aku: cakap pasal kahwin ni, aku macam no comment. aku tak kejar nak berkahwin, tapi kalau ada jodoh, insya'Allah. tapi yang aku paling tak tahan, bila ada gathering sama macro family, soalan2 standard yang poyo akan tempias kat aku: "so, you bila lagi?". jawap aku pun standard: "kalau you nak i kahwin, you carikan calon la. kahwin konon, i boyfriend pun takde". senang aja muka aku jawap macam ni. mmg arr... ada kazens aku yang dah nak kahwin, ada yang dah bertunang, macam2 ada la. aku bukan jenis yang rush pun. lepak arr. diri sendiri pun aku blom bleh nak support, takkan aku nak kahwin. mmg standard arr, suami kena jaga isteri. so, aku takyah nak susah kan? salah.... aku bukan macam tu. aku tak nak bergantung sangat pada orang. i want to be independent. so that, kalau apa2, aku ada something to fall on.

adakah aku akan berkahwin? ntah... korang dah jumpa calon ke untuk aku?

ada lagi

remember hari tu aku letak 15 random facts pasal myself? ok, ni aku nak tambah lagi 2. sebab aku nak tambah? saje la aku suka. kamu peduli hapa??

ok, sila enjoy....

1. aku kalau berus gigi, aku tak suka berus gigi dalam tandas. aku kalau berus gigi, aku suka berjalan2 dalam rumah tu. paling best kalau ada TV. aku akan gosok gigi depan TV. ntah berapa lama aku gosok la kan. aku rasa kalau aku keep on macam ni, mau haus gigi aku ni. adoiyayy....
2. masa baca magazine, aku akan start baca dari muka belakang. mana2 magazine pun la. aku akan go through the magazine, stopping at interesting articles, mana yang panjang, aku simpan untuk later. pastu, aku akan bookmark mana2 contest yang menarik dan aku akan hantar aku nyer entry. pastu, bila kali kedua aku baca magazine yang sama, aku akan start dari muka depan lak. haaa... tere kan?
   

and..... ACTION!!

hari ni aku kena buat case presentation. which means, instead of assisting, aku kena jadi main interviewer. aku masuk ward, aku pulak yang jadi disoriented. banyak pula new admissions. but this does not mean, that it is banyak patients for us to clerk. because most of them mmg tak stable pun.

mula2 ada satu patient macam super rela untuk aku clerk. aku tanya dia banyak kali, dia kata ok. blom sempat aku masuk ke chief complain, dia kata dia dah sudah. aku kena kencing sama pesakit mental, boleh? adoiyayy....

then, aku interview Xero. mula2 dia ok. jawap semua apa aku tanya, walaupun dia agak slow. i think it was the meds. then, lama2 sket tu, dia dah lalok la pulak. effect dari ubat that was administered to him. "pening arr doctor. nak g tido boleh?". haa.. pergi la.. pergi tido... aku rasa macam nak guling2 atas lantai. tapi aku control. kang tak silap haribulan kang, aku pulak yang kena masuk sini.

third time's a charm, bak kata orang. kata aja la. aku amik satu lagi patient yang aku tengok dia senyap je. nampak stable. ok, start arr interview. sekali interview, he talks IRRELEVANTLY and NONSTOP!! adoiyayy.... nak je aku tokak bucu meja interview tu, geram punya pasal. ntah apa yang dicakapkan oleh patient tu, aku pun tak pasti. he talks to himself. walaupun kami dah tak layan dia, he keeps on going. and he is so disoriented. but who am i to complain. esok bila dah kerja, kami bukannya boleh pilih patients kan? so, amik juga case ni.

bila doctor datang and aku berkobar2 nak present, dia kata takyah la pulak.... adoiyayy.... nak nangis air mata kucing jadinya tau dak? after all the effort and sampai tukar 3 patients, dia leh cakap takyah??? huhuhuh

we went straight to role play for history taking. that was another segment for the morning discussion. for the role play, aku jadi patient with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), AVS jadi doctor, and ASR jadi aku nyer sister. we never had any prior run thru for this scene and aku dapat cerita pun like 10mins before doctor datang. no dialogue, nothing. just us, acting out.

at the end of the scene, we were evaluated. bangga weh!! the others cakap that the way we acted was very convincing, AVS mmg macam doc, aku mmg macam patient, and ARS pun tak kurang juga. siap ada comment that we were very fluent, takde gap dalam our acting. bagus... bagus... doctor pun suka ngan kita nyer scene.

pastu, aku fikir2 arr... esok2 kalau mau venture away from jadi doctor, aku boleh la jadi pelakon dak?

ok, AFDLIN SHAUKI, MAMAT KHALID, YASMIN AHMAD, kalau nak pelakon, you know where to find me eh?

i am a secret box

aku rasa ada barang 5 hari la aku tunggu nak clerk satu patient baru ni. masa dia mula2 masuk, mmg dia tak sedar diri. meracau tak tentu hala. was aggressive. so he was put under restrain. days went by, and he was still tied to bed. but today, he was walking around, wide awake, but totally disoriented and irrelevant.

this patient's name is *Xero. dia from TUDM training camp. he is only 25 years young. never had any episode of substance abuse. informant (family) claimed that he was apparently well months back. he had 2 episodes of high fever before this incident of him being mentally unstable. so, i am thinking, mungkin there is an organic cause that made him in his current state. apart from that, family dia kata, dia tak tahan sama stress kat camp. bapak Xero is an aviator general.

as aku masuk ward pagi tadi, immediately *Mimi, the last patient that we had before the weekend, she came up to me. she was happy to see me and i was happy to see her too. aku tak tahu kenapa, i felt attached to her. like there is something that is making me want to help her so much. make her better. her story is a sad one. and sayang, she is a bright person, cuma peristiwa hitam yang membuatkan dia kurang stabil. otherwise, she is rather normal. she was from TKC, she did execellent most of the time and a distinction student. she was born in september. i keep on telling her that if she wants to talk, like a friend to a friend, she can always talk to me. but then... Siti NurHaliza came along and sort of took me away from Mimi. so Mimi had to wait in line.

see, SNH is very unstable. but she also has become attached to me because aku layan dia and i listen to her stories. let them be true or not, i listen to them. show her that she can trust me and she can tell me anything that she wants. so, most of my morning i was spending time with SNH but at the same time, i was also talking to Xero, trying to elicit his problem. but apa yang buat aku sangat tersentuh, was what SNH said:

"saya suka la jumpa sama doktor"

"kenapa?"

"saya rasa lega, tenang hati saya bila saya dapat cakap sama doktor"

"owh, terima kasih. apa je siti nak cakap, siti boleh beritahu saya ye"

and i left her at the table, let her do her own things.

and when Mimi saw that i was free. she immediately came to me. i asked where she went. she said that she went to sleep because the medication is making her drowsy. she took my hand and said that she has something to talk to me about. see, the feeling that i feel, is just indescribable. how they prefer to talk to you, tell you their life's secrets, the trust. it just makes me feel thankful.

but mind, this still does not mean that i like psychiatry. not at all.... duhhh!

beautifully imperfect

~yasmin


I love you.
It's not a weight you must carry around.
I love you.
It's not a box that holds you in.
I love you.
It's not a standard you have to bear.
I love you.
It's not a sacrifice I make.
I love you.
It's not a pedestal you are frozen upon.
I love you.
It's not an expectation of perfection.
I love you.
It's not my life's whole purpose (or yours).
I love you.
It's not to make you change.
I love you.
It's not even to make you love me.
I love you.
It's as pure and simple as that.

~anonymous

doodlezz

this is what i do

when i want to fill time

during those effing boring classes (read: uni subjects)

i doodle

anything that passes thru my mind

goes straight on paper

you like?

8th of May 2009

sleeping tips

1 DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed
for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

2 DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that
wear bras for more than 12 hours have
a higher risk of getting breast cancer.
So go to bed without it.

3 DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere
near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks,
but please put the phone as far as possible.
Scientists have proved that electrical items including
mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you,
switch it off first.

4 DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have
skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have
difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring.
You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

Lastly.....

5 DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE / HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.

aku gedik, aku gedik.... tolong la... aku gedik ni

ok, sila lihat tajuk di atas. mmg macam nak kena tampar laju2 ja bunyinya kan? bukan sebab apa. semenjak dua tiga menjak ni, aku dipertemukan sama orang2 yang suka menggedik tak tentu hala. kalau nak tergedik2 sorang takpe arr. ni menggedik sebab nak dapatkan attention orang lain. alahai, please la. takyah la nak berlagak begitu cheap. i mean, kalau nak jadi cheapskate (betul ke aku eja ni?) macam aku, tu lain cerita la. at least aku tak tergedik2 kan.

ni la dia nya. nak kata tak diberi tumpuan, rasanya dah berbilang orang kasi tumpuan. nak di kata tak di hiraukan, punya la banyak orang yang kisahkan. doctor ada, nurses ada, doctor-in-trainings ada, kawan2 ada. apa lagi yang kamu mahu harr?? saja la cari penyakit, cari hal, supaya suffer la konon, pastu minta belas kasihan kat semua orang. iewww... so the drama.

serious aku tak tahan orang yang sangat cheap dan menggedik. sila jangan berinteraksi dengan aku.

**entry ni mmg paling banyak guna perkataan gedik. dan pada sesiapa yang terasa, sila terasa dengan majunya. sekian.

Razif nak jadi polis untuk tangkap SitiNurHaliza yang menyanyi lagu spanyol

"morning doctor KL....", tegur razif. aku tengah assist CLL interview Touchu.

"morning"

"doctor KL. saya dah tak mahu jadi askar la. saya nak jadi polis. polis yang tangkap orang gila untuk masuk ward ni"

"iye, baiklah"

"bolehkan doctor?"

"boleh, kan ke tu kerja mulia" . habis hang buat apa la dalam ni in the first place Razif oii....(bisik hati kecilku)

........................................................................

kelmarin, aku assist CPP interview *SitiNurHaliza. case SNH ni mmg la complicated. nak dapat info dari dia lagi la super complicated. but this is a challenge that we took anyways. a patient is a patient. mana leh nak pilih2 kan?

CCH pun ada juga ngan kami masa tu. dia mula berjinak dengan cara2 untuk interview patients. so, sambil aku sama CPP cakap sama SNH (yang mula menjawap soalan dengan elok kemudian end up menyanyi lagu dalam bahasa2 yang dia create sendiri, atau bahasa2 seperti spanish dan hindustan), CCH menulis apa info yang vital. masa tu, Razif duduk kat belakang CCH. Tiba2 aku tengok, Razif amik rambut CCH and kemudian hidu bau rambut dia.

omg....

aku dah takut dah untuk CCH. aku tgk CCH pun dah macam uncomfy. dia tak berani nak marah, takut2 kalau Razif makin syok pulak bila dia marah.

"doctor, doctor" tegur Razif kepada CCH yang buat bodo je terhadap Razif.
"doctor, rambut doctor wangi la. Doctor pakai syampu apa? saya pun nak cuba"

adoiyayy Razif.... kamu biar benar. kamu tu nak syampu apa? kepala pun dah separa botak ni...

(=_=")

dah muda dah mak aku

ini Mama REd.
sila jangan jealous sebab mak aku lawa.
hari ini hari jadi dia.
yang ke berapa?
mana boleh kasi tau.
korang teka arr.
card yang aku hantar dah sampai 3 hari sebelum birthday dia.
presents yang aku hantar akan sampai 3 bulan lepas birthday dia.
pandai kan aku budget timing?
patut mak aku hantar aku gi ngaji kira2 balik semula la.
apa punya anak la....
haishhh......

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMMY!! YOU RAWK! I MISS AND LOVE YOU LOADS...."

Mahathir membaca Ya'asin

"doctor, doctor", tegur Mahathir

"hmmm? kenapa?"

"doctor, nak pinjam pen. nak tulis"

[iye le, takkan nak pinjam pen untuk pergi tenun songket kott]

....setelah beberapa minit.....

"doctor, nah, terima kasih ye kasi pinjam pen"

"awak tulis apa tu Mahathir?"

[dia pun dengan bangganya menunjuk aku apa yang dia tulis]

"saya tulis surah Ya'asin"

"mana ada surah Ya'asin. kalau tu surah Ya'asin, dah tentu saya boleh baca. ni saya tak kenal langsung jawi nya ni"

"iye la doctor, ni surah Ya'asin. tengok saya baca"

[aku pun berkerut dahi tunggu dia nak baca tulisan dia tu yang sebenarnya hanya cakar ayam]

....maka, Mahathir memulakan bacaan Ya'asin dari hasil tulisannya.....

"hey mambang tanah, mambang api, mambang air.... mambang segala bapak mambang..."

[Mahathir dengan confident nya membaca "Ya'asin". aku... aku mencangkung bawah meja sambil garuk-garuk lantai, mengenangkan nasib diri yang terpaksa melayan karenah patient2 macam ni]

nasib....nasib....

LimaBelas kasihan

aku pernah tengok tag ni, atau mungkin ada orang pernah tag aku kat MukaBuku. cuma aku je malas nak membuatnya. ni, sebab aku takleh tido balik punya pasal, aku buat arr.

ini adalah acara men'tag' diri sendiri. sila layan dengan keadaan santai....

1. masa aku kat tadika dulu, sebelum pergi tadika, mama suka belikan aku nasi lemak bibik yang dijual di tepi longkang monsoon, berdekatan dengan rumah arwah nenek aku kat Kelana Jaya. sangat la standard nasi lemak aku tu, sambal, telur rebus, kacang goreng, ikan bilis goreng, timun. standard punya standard, tapi sedap dia, tahap jilat kaki meja punya sedap. tak tahu la sebab apa yang sedap naa. sebab bibik punya air tangan atau tempias dari air longkang monsoon tu.
2. aku ni dulu2 sangat la gullible (sekarang pun ye juga actually). apa orang kata, semua aku nak percaya. kalau Dharul, kawan aku masa darjah satu dulu cakap dia adalah anak Michael Jackson, mungkin aku akan percaya juga. masa aku darjah satu, aku ada kawan ni, nama dia Chandra (bukan yang dalam cerita HEROES tu). dia kata dia nak belikan aku macam2 present untuk birthday aku, jam tangan la, beg la, menda la. malah bukan untuk aku sorang, tapi untuk satu keluarga aku sekali!! aku punya percaya kat dia, sampai sekarang aku tunggu. takde pun... dah kena tipu ke apa neh?
3. aku tak suka menulis atas kertas yang ada line. aku suka menulis atas kertas yang kosong. kalau kertas tu ada line, aku rasa janggal untuk menulis. lagipun, aku rasa, aku tulis dengan lebih lurus dan elok kalau aku tulis atas plain paper. ini menandakan otak aku centre, tak senget macam sesetengah orang yang akan tulis senget bila tulis atas plain paper.
4. aku tak suka makan nasi. panjang ceritanya. bukan sebab aku diet ke menda. tapi sebab lain. so, kalau korang tgk aku makan lauk je, tolong la jangan tanya "eh, tak makan nasi ke?". cuma kadang2, aku akan makan sushi, atau bubur. kadang2 ok... sebab, AKU TAK SUKA MAKAN NASI.
5. aku kalau tengah stress, atau marah, aku akan berjalan untuk vent out perasaan tu. and masa aku berjalan tu, aku akan kira langkah yang aku amik. aku tak tahu kenapa. aku rasa aku buat macam tu, aku berjaya divert kan pemikiran aku ke tempat lain, dari berfikir tentang perkara yang membuatkan aku sakit hati in the first place...
6. aku pernah jatuh motor 2 kali: satu kali masa aku cuba nak bawa motor dan dicoach oleh adik sedara aku, satu kali masa aku balik sekolah sambil papa aku yang bawa. masa aku balik sekolah tu, actually, aku tertido atas motor, boleh? nasib baik jam masa tu, kalau tak, aku tak tahu la apa jadi. bapak aku siap marah aku lagi. aku harap dia nak simpati ke apa. nasib arr ada abang ni tolong aku angkat barang2 aku. pastu, bila dah settle, dah jalan balik, bapak aku toleh belakang, tengok muka aku pastu, dia gelakkan aku. apa punya bapak la....
7. aku pernah jatuh atas lutut aku masa buat hurdle kat high school dulu. sekarang ni, lutut aku sakit. tapi aku masih boleh gagah. aku kan ke macam lady gaga. tere maa...
8. aku punya lubang telinga kecik, aku punya kaki besar. nak pakai earfon pun susah, nak beli kasut (wanita) lagi la susah. adoiyayy....
9. aku cukup tak tahan sama orang yang makan tak reti nak tutup mulut. mengunyah sambil nampak isi mulut tu. weii... saper nak tengok?!??! takde manners betul arr... serious. rasa nak lempang je bibir dia supaya makan elok2.
10. aku ni dah banyak kali la juga kena jahit akibat luka. tapi setakat ni, aku sudah melalui 3 operations: 2 under general anaes, satu under local. masa under local anaes tu, aku rasa nak gigit je lutut doctor tu. dah la dia letak local yang tak adequate, lagi dia cauterize aku nyer operation area tu. aku dah menggigil bawa scrubs tu, dia selamba je: "nurse, i rasa tak cukup la local dia ni. prep satu dose lagi, i nak besarkan area operation ni". kepala paip dia!
11. aku suka tengok sesame street, walaupun sampai sekarang. aku tak malu untuk mengaku ni.
12. aku kalau keluar rumah (kecuali masa bersukan) tak pakai jam tangan, itu bukan aku la namanya. aku cukup particular about masa. and very punctual. pada saper yang tak reti nak punctual, sila jangan kasi waktu yang korang memang dah budget takkan sampai. sila kasi waktu yang korang mmg dah ada di tempat itu. oh ye, aku pakai jam kat tangan kiri.
13. aku pernah handle orang kena sampuk, one-on-one. masa tu aku takde experience pun macam mana nak handle. but sebab keadaan terpaksa, aku berjaya juga. alhamdulillah....
14. masa darjah 2, aku menang hadiah tempat kedua untuk kuiz agama peringkat sekolah. tere kan aku? aku pun tak sangka aku leh menang. dah la aku ni jahil. aku harap aku menang set kaler pensel yang mega besar dengan warna2 yang menarik (sebab aku suka design baju masa tu). sekali tengok, aku menang ayat Qursi yang dalam frame tu... alhamdulillah....
15. aku kalau shopping, korang jangan ikut la. aku akan jalan satu mall, survey dalam round pertama. compare dalam round kedua. round ketiga baru aku beli, tu pun kalau aku rasa betul2 baloi la. so, kalau pergi OU tu, aku leh dok barang 4 jam dalam tu, berjalan aja..... dari old wing ke new wing and then back. pastu singgah kat jusco beli pepsi max sebab aku terlupa yang aku lom makan lagi. haishh....

Touchu yang comel

tadi, Razif di ambil sebagai subject untuk di interview hari ni. macam biasa, aku assist the interview sama CE, while BBP was the main interviewer. interesting juga cakap sama Razif. macam2 benda baru pasal dia yang aku tak tahu. tapi apa yang sedia maklum, dia sama Touchu kan ke kawan baik dalam wad tu. mana2 mesti nak berdua.

tapi, hari ni, banyak la pulak patients baru. Razif introduce kat kami, *Eric, a newcomer. Razif cakap, dia sama Eric nak jadi askar. e eh... fikir aku... kan ke hari tu dia cakap, dia sama Touchu yang nak jadi askar. kenapa pula tukar orang?

masa tu, Touchu tengah tido.

then aku cakap sama Razif. kenapa tukar kawan rapat sama Eric pula? takkan nak buang Touchu macam tu kott? tak baik la kan. dah rapat sama Touchu, then bila ada orang baru, mau buang Touchu macam tu pulak. nanti Touchu merajuk macam mana?

dan dan... masa tu Razif gegas bangun dari kerusi, dengan muka yang agak risau, dan hati yang berdebar2, dia cakap: "eh, doctor, saya pergi tanya Touchu kejap ye". dia pun terus bergerak sepantas kilat pergi nak cari Touchu yang sedang nyenyak atas katil macam beruang tengah hibernate.

sekali Razif bawa Touchu kat tempat interview daaa... Touchu dengan muka baru bangun tido nyer... alolololloloo.... kesian sama Touchu. aku pun dah terkejut. kenapa la dia kacau si Touchu sampai macam ni. aku cakap: "eh, buat apa bawa Touchu sini? saya nak cakap dengan awak, bukan dengan Touchu". Razif cakap: "ni doctor, Touchu ok je" "Touchu, Touchu, Doctor nak tengok hang".

"mana ada. takpe2, Touchu, pergi tido balik ok. saya nak cakap dengan Razif je"

Touchu: "hang ni apa la. GILA betul la. panggil aku buat apa!"

errkkk..... di wad mental, patient cakap patient GILA.

adakah ini sama dengan "pot calling the kettle black"?

titisan air mata langit

kelmarin lepas main musical chair sama student lain untuk berebut comp (yang berfungsi) kat library, aku decided nak pergi bandar jap. aku nak pergi post office sama aku nak cari barang sket. lagipun, aku dah lama tak gi bandar kan.

2-3 kucing berlari hari ni, kat sini kerap hujan. tapi kelamarin, aku bajet tak hujan la sebab malam tu dah hujan satu malam kan. so, aku pun ngan selamba bomba nya, jalan kuar, tunggu bas untuk ke bandar. sampai bandar, aku tawaf la satu CS tu. tgk barang. beli barang yang aku tak berapa perlukan. cari barang yang aku perlukan tapi takde. pergi post office, tutup la pulak. ada dalam 3 jam aku dah ronda, aku nak balik. sekali tengok....berderai hujan kat luar. payung takde la pulak. so, aku pun ronda la cari payung....

aku pun dengan suka hati pergi la cari payung. testing segala payung yang ada. siap singgah lagi kedai2 yang jual barang yang aku tak perlukan tapi aku nak beli sebab apa, sebab dah lama aku tak shopping neh.

"payung takde % ye", cakap cashier tu. eh, aku tak tanya pun ada % ke tak. aku nak payung, bukan nak %. tet...tet...tet... jari2 halus akak cashier tu menekan cashier. "rm45.50". aku pun dengan selamba, buka purse, aku hulur rm50. akak kasi balik rm4.50. "ahhh... takyah plastik arr". aku pun nak guna dah kan?

wah... hepi giler ada payung. dalam hati dah bajet nak gelak kat orang2 yang takde payung yang terpaksa berlindung bawah bumbung sekerat tu. muka bongkak giler sebab ada payung baru dalam tangan. aku pun melangkah maju kehadapan... aku keluar mall...

sekali dah tak hujan daa..... elok cerah jek.... T_T

kunfayakun....

p/s: harga payung tu, bukan harga sebenar. tapi akak cashier tu mmg cakap macam tu.

ikal mayangkerapukepundenparangsekeper

one thing about me, aku tak suka sikat rambut. serious. tanya la family aku. pernah tak derang tgk aku sikat rambut? ada tu ada la... tapi tak kerap. but as far as i can remember, dah berapa bulan aku tak sikat rambut. bukan sebab aku malas, tapi sebab aku mmg tak suka. then orang tanya, rambut aku tak kusut ke? surprisingly, tak, rambut aku ok je. maybe sebab aku suka run my fingers thru my hair every once in awhile kan. tu sebab tak kusut.

tapi, bila nana (adik aku yang the bestest) ada, dia la yang tolong sikat rambut aku. suka dia kalau aku cakap "nana, tolong sikat rambut kakaklin". amboi amboi amboi (ala2 idola aku azwan ali), bukan setakat sikat yang dia bawa keluar, siap ngan sepit la, getah rambut la, kadang2 hair iron pun ada sekali. aku baru soh dia sikat rambut, bukan buka salun (-_-").... lepas dia dah puas dandan aku, sambil aku tgh tengok tv ke, guna net ke, aku pun di suruh tgk arr... evaluate styling dia. mak aihh.... no comment... janji dia happy, and rambut aku dah kena sikat ;)

tapi ni bukan aku nak cerita pasal habit aku yang tak suka sikat rambut. tapi, aku nak cerita pasal semalam, mimpi aku. mimpi aku yang sangat la pelik bin ajaib nye. aku mimpi semalam, ada orang sikat kan rambut aku. it seems like she knows me well, tapi dia bukan nana, atau dia bukan family aku. dia seperti kawan rapat aku, sangat rapat, tapi bukan kings, eliea, roz, ain, or jo-ee. aku tau dia siapa, cuma aku tak berapa nak ingat. aku rasa macam best sangat dia ada sama aku masa tu.

bila aku sedar, aku fikir balik, kenapa la aku mimpi pelik macam ni. adakah itu satu petanda untuk apa2 ke, mainan mimpi ke, atau aku rindu nana ke? (ye, aku mmg rindu nana)....

...atau...

adakah mimpi ni soh aku g belajar sikat rambut. teruk naa perangai tuu weh!

letter to a burning house

during the evaluation that i do with my psychiatric patients, i have 2 standard situations that i used to evaluate their intelligence based on their judgement. certain answers to these to situations will show what kind of psychiatric condition that the patient is currently suffering from.

of course i won't tell you the answers now. but i am going to give you the situations, and you can try an answer accordingly. so here goes....

situation 1:
"you are walking along an empty road, no passing vehicles, nobody is around. as you are walking, you noticed that there is a burning house right infront. and you hear a baby crying from inside the house. what would you do?"

situation 2:
"you are walking past a postbox. below the box, you see a letter with an address. it has been sealed and stamped. what would you do with the letter?"

good luck!

testing...testing....

lepas aku cakap ngan ah soh kat kedai runcit semeling pagi kelmarin, aku balik rumah. lepas aku balik rumah, aku tak bercakap ngan sesaper. satu, sebab mmg takde saper kat rumah. dua, sebab telefon aku tak bunyi. ada la bunyi, SMS masuk, tapi aku diam je. aku pun tak tahu kena sampuk apa ntah, aku terus diam je semalam.

pagi ni aku dah risau dah. sampai barang pukul 0930hours, aku masih tak bercakap ngan sesaper lagi. mana tau, sekali aku terus takleh cakap ke apa. nak test drive, takkan nak cakap kat cermin kott? malu dowh, kalau jiran sebelah dengar (iye, dinding umah ni sangat la nipis).aku diam lagi, macam lesung batu.

sekali, masa kat library tadi, ah beng yang tengah concert kat belakang aku tu, tegur aku. dia soh tgk sth kat computer dia. aku pun tak kenal ah beng tu. aku pun layan la. sekali dia tanya aku something. aku dah takut dah, aku ni dah la tak bercakap dari semalam. nak guna sign language, aku mmg tak reti. so macam mana ni? ahhh....redahhhh.....

dulu orang kata, suara aku mcam ning baizura. orang kata la... aku menyampaikan aja apa kata orang.

sekali aku buka mulut nak jawap.... yang keluar, suara hamid gurkha daa....

adoiyayy.... terbeliak mata ah beng tu. aku clear my throat sket, baru stable balik. kembali ke suara aku yang sebenarnya, yang kini, dah macam suara radio rosak, bukan suara ning baizura.

lemah dowh.

kubur siam

bukan aku terlupa. tapi aku takde connection je. jadi, sebelum aku bebetul terlupa, aku nak ucapkan "SELAMAT HARI minyak cap BURUH" pada semua-semua warga kerja, tak kira la kerja apa. so, apa je yang korang buat semalam? takde kerja? cari kerja? kena buang kerja? ahhh... apa2 je la. macam aku kisah korang buat apa. +_+

so, apa la aku punya kerja pada hari pekerja ni? patutnya, ada plan. tapi kena cancel la kan, atas sebab2 yang tertentu. so plan, nak tolak plan tadi pada hari sabtu. ok la... so, aku pun pagi2 pergi hantar basikal ke kedai, nak baiki. aku ingat pergi sana, dia akan buka sana, pasang sini, bengkok situ ke apa ke. sekali, aku cakap apa masalah basikal tu, yang aku tengok, dia cuma longgarkan screw, betulkan allignment, pastu main pusing2 roda basikal tu. pastu, dia cakap "ok siap". aku pun mention la pasal gear basikal tu kan, dia kata, owh, takde apa, gear ok. aku test drive la basikal tu. sama je keadaan nya sebelum masuk kedai. ok apa? ok kepala lutut dia. ahh... malas la aku nak gaduh, aku pun kayuh la basikal tu balik dalam keadaan yang sama.

berpeluh2 aku dibuatnya. mana tak, basikal tu jadi berat tau. aku tau mmg aku sedia berat, tapi ni berat lain, macam ada benda halus lak dok carry kat basikal tu. padahal masalahnya lain, masalah mechanical, yang sememangnya aku tak tahu menahu. aku park basikal tu kat umah, aku pun start arr buat chores. kemas bilik yang dah seminggu tak berkemas tu, buat laundry (separuh je la, separuh lagi nak buat jap g), tengok series yang ada arr barang 13kali aku ulang, baca buku. last2, aku nap kejap.

bila dah petang, aku rasa nak pergi mengayuh lagi. so, that was what i did. this time, aku main kayuh je la. pasang radio kat fon ni, bertemankan PREM from RUSH HOUR, aku kayuh. takde tujuan. aku baca arr signboard. dalam hati aku nak lepak kat Tupah Reserve. tapi fikir2 balik, takut lak. tempat tu covered kan. lagi2 aku sorang. malas arr aku nak handle situation, takde mood. kalau kena kejar beruang boleh terima lagi, kalau kena kejar orang... uisshhh... tak sanggup aku. so, kayuh2, aku take in the sceneries. sekarang tak lawa sangat, padi blom naik. baru nak tanam. tetiba, aku tgk, depan sikit, macam ada kumpulan batu2. aku ingat apa la, Tok Pekong ke apa, sekali tgk, adoiyayy.... kubur siam empat kerat. serious, agaknya satu family kott. ada 6 je kubur kat tepi jalan tu. rasa macam disturbing sangat masa aku tgk tu. aku kayuh lagi, ada makam sultan muzaffar shah lak. ingat nak pergi usha, tapi sebab dia masuk kawasan terpencil kan, tak beran arr...lagipun dah petang.

kayuhan aku, ada la dalam 20km lebih semalam. tak gi mana pun. saje je. hari ni patut mengayuh lagi, as according to plan la. tapi hmmm... mana nya?

adoiyayy... aku nak sambung panjang lagi ni tapi takleh lak. bukan aku ada thought block ke apa. tapi library closes at 1pm on sats. aku dengar pun derang dah tutup A/C (aksi2 yang dilakukan untuk menghalau student). tapi aku masih melepak sini sebab ada ah beng kat belakang aku ni tgh buat concert sambil tgk youtube. selagi ah beng ni masih berconcert kat sini, selagi tu la aku akan lepak kat library. bukan sebab suara dia best, tapi sebab aku nak guna net :)