Friday, September 26, 2008
the time has finally come....
...........for me to write it out, when in actual fact, i should say it out. but i guess you wouldn't have time for my "whimpering". this might be trivial to you. but you are blood. you matter. so, because i still care, i just want to let you know how some things that you did, affected me, not in a good way.
it doesn't take a genius to figure out why all of a sudden i felt like writing this. it was my birthday dinner. i was thinking to myself (and still thinking), why were you so mean to me on my birthday? initially in the day, you were ok. but then, when we had a slight misunderstanding (you totally "didn't know" that we were SUPPOSED to go have lecka2) on the drive home, you went sour on me. why?
ok, maybe you had had a bad day, maybe something was bothering you that you "forgot" about the turn to hartamas, maybe, you just cannot make me a happier person on my birthday. don't lash on my birthday, i am entitled to be selfish, but i am not that kind of person, and i wasn't selfish at all.
really, to you it is just a minor thing, but to me, you broke my heart....
what happened to us? what happened to our closeness? we were so tight that people thought we were twins. remember those times when we fight endlessly over stupid matters and then everything was forgotten and we went on being the closest sibs ever. how support each other in times of need, how i'd do everything i can so that you can go for that race that you wanted to attend. how we share our stories.
but after awhile, everything just sort of disappear, slowly..... where did it all go?
instead of laughing with me, you laugh at me. i do too, to you. but sometimes you are just too mean, the things that are supposed to be a joke, is not that funny. yes, i AM sensitive, you should know that. like the day when i just arrived home from uni, and we were supposed to have dinner at your place, you called me a "stowaway", not that funny. i wanted to just get out of the car and walk back home.
yes, we can still joke. but i'd prefer if you'd stop treating me as if i am someone else.i am still marlyne. i wish you'd still see that, the little girl who is always joining you to be in trouble when we were young.
btw, i am not a CONFUSED glamour diva. i know what i want. there is no harm in multitasking. it'll market me better in the future. my charity work is sensible in so many ways. i recycle and i help the needy, best that i can. what is there that don't make sense? you tell me.
in the end, i hope you see what i am trying to tell you all these years that we have grown apart.