Friday, September 26, 2008

the time has finally come....

...........for me to write it out, when in actual fact, i should say it out. but i guess you wouldn't have time for my "whimpering". this might be trivial to you. but you are blood. you matter. so, because i still care, i just want to let you know how some things that you did, affected me, not in a good way.


it doesn't take a genius to figure out why all of a sudden i felt like writing this. it was my birthday dinner. i was thinking to myself (and still thinking), why were you so mean to me on my birthday? initially in the day, you were ok. but then, when we had a slight misunderstanding (you totally "didn't know" that we were SUPPOSED to go have lecka2) on the drive home, you went sour on me. why?

ok, maybe you had had a bad day, maybe something was bothering you that you "forgot" about the turn to hartamas, maybe, you just cannot make me a happier person on my birthday. don't lash on my birthday, i am entitled to be selfish, but i am not that kind of person, and i wasn't selfish at all.

really, to you it is just a minor thing, but to me, you broke my heart....

what happened to us? what happened to our closeness? we were so tight that people thought we were twins. remember those times when we fight endlessly over stupid matters and then everything was forgotten and we went on being the closest sibs ever. how support each other in times of need, how i'd do everything i can so that you can go for that race that you wanted to attend. how we share our stories.

but after awhile, everything just sort of disappear, slowly..... where did it all go?

instead of laughing with me, you laugh at me. i do too, to you. but sometimes you are just too mean, the things that are supposed to be a joke, is not that funny. yes, i AM sensitive, you should know that. like the day when i just arrived home from uni, and we were supposed to have dinner at your place, you called me a "stowaway", not that funny. i wanted to just get out of the car and walk back home.

yes, we can still joke. but i'd prefer if you'd stop treating me as if i am someone else.i am still marlyne. i wish you'd still see that, the little girl who is always joining you to be in trouble when we were young.

btw, i am not a CONFUSED glamour diva. i know what i want. there is no harm in multitasking. it'll market me better in the future. my charity work is sensible in so many ways. i recycle and i help the needy, best that i can. what is there that don't make sense? you tell me.

in the end, i hope you see what i am trying to tell you all these years that we have grown apart.


Anonymous said...

My advise, biarlah siluncai dengan labu-labunyer. Memories are to be kept not reminish in. One who thinks that he is holding ford, will not stand too long. either way he will slip or the ford will fall. Your time will come, and you know Allah is watching.

Anonymous said...

Instead of speaking to me you chose to put this up for the world to see. Air your dirty laundry. Real mature. Real glamour diva.

I meant you don't make much sense and meant it as a joke. Not your charity work.

But never mind, blame your insecurities on me -- whatever, I don't care.

To the anonymous, if you had half a ball you'd reveal yourself. It's easy to give advice but can you take it? You know nothing to say anything and you don't bother me because I owe you nothing! Your words are just fluff. You've only heard half of the story and you think you know it all. Shallow!

redSeptember said...

anonymous, what tokking you? ford to bukan brand kereta ke? i think you meant to type FORT, like fortress maybe? apa2 pun, terima kasih la for the advice.

pott, chillex k. i am not airing dirty laundry ke spandex ke linen ke menda. to me it is not dirty, tu sebab i write it here. as you can see this is where i let my feelings out. i don't have insecurities, mind. i just wanted u to know how i felt, and not taking it as a joke. masa berlawak untuk kesah ni belum bermula.

to be rescheduled.

maturity is very trivial.

Peeps said...

di bulan yang baik ini, maaf bermaafan antara satu sama lain adalah lebih afdal daripada memanjangkan persengkataan yang hanya akan melukakan hati semua. di dunia ini kita hanya ada satu keluarga yang sedarah dengan kita dan sementara mereka itu masih bernyawa, amiklah seketika untuk melupakan segala persengketaan dan tingkatkan kasih sayang. sesungguhnya akan pergi seseorang itu dan masa itulah kita akan menyesal akan segala perkara kecil yang remeh menjadi penghalang dari segala. bak kata arwah p.ramlee "buang yang keruh, amik yang jernih". appreciate those who are still with you. amin tahu history hidup aku kan. so amik lah teladan dari abang kau ini (abang ke?)

Peeps said...

hehe..respon pada anonymous.

ahahha...dah benda terbakar besar, lagi ko tambah kerosene..bagus bagus!

redSeptember said...

thanks peeps for the nasihat. REd masih care... tu la sebabnya REd tulis menda ni.