....be who you are but still do as the
Roman does. possible no? yes, it does sound rather contradicting, but believe me, it works!! well, so far that i have seen that is.
see, i have been this type of person where i simply don't follow, i LEAD (or at least i believe i do). i hate being the same as everyone else. i want to be different. and being different does come with a price. i have been shunned (ok, i know, this is such an exagerration. so kill me already), i have been the talk of the town, have been the center of attention, you name it. it is not like i am begging for it, but according to some people, i am actually asking for it without me realizing.
at first i was angry that all those things were happening to me. i was wondering what i did wrong that people just LOVEd to pick on me. is it because i am the only MALAY? is it because i am not the typical MALAY? is it because they cannot accept the way i think? sadly, some parts of this are true. i am living up north and they have a totally different mindset here. they cannot accept something different. everything has to be the same, everything has to coincide with their lives, they won't change one single bit, even if it was for the better. but not all of them are like this. MOST of them are. i don't blame them. they have been living and thinking like this for ages, centuries even! i can't be gallavanting here and expect them to change their minds overnight, can i?
no, i can't.
so, what am i to do? i learned from my mistake and i became more subtle. i learned to blend in, but not be one of them. i dress as according to their requirements, i speak only what they could accept and understand. and thank God, i am still me. no matter how much i try to be a chameleon in their lives, i still am not able to do so. i still stand out, they still know the one (not really) and only ALIA. but this time round, they know me for much better reasons. really, thank God....
yes, although i am blendng in somehow, i still retain my identity. i don't change because people want me to, i change because it is a good thing to do. i don't want to be arrogant and say, "i don't care what people say about me, they are not paying for my living and i do not owe them a single cent". i used to say that alot. i used to apply that alot. but that was me before. yes, i come around with a sincere heart to do things but i also have to think that if i openly invite 'fitnah', then 'fitnah' shall come to me. i understand now that people advise me because they care. it may take me some time to install that information in my thick skull, somehow, someday, it does seep through.
take for example BMW (a new friend from the UK), he is so laidback and simple. he accepted the way of living of the villagers and infact he is blending in well with them. he eats with his hands, he wears sarong when he is asked to (because it is not proper to wear shorts in the village), he wears a baju melayu even under the hot scorching sun. that is something to be of example. if he, a total stranger can do all that to blend in, why must it be hard for me eh?
i must respect the way others live in order for them to respect and take me seriously.
when in Rome, thank God that you are there!! *peace*
no arrogance needed.