you can hold my hands

31st July 2008: i was oncall that night with saras and jashitra. there were only the 3 of us as the other 2 were too buzy attending a farewell party for a lecturer who is leaving soon. see, that made me think: how do these people priorotize actually? work is more important or attending a stupid party is more important. although i was without the convenience of a transport to travel from campus to the hospital, i arranged with my friends and i didn't mind doing some walking just so that i get to the hospital and do my oncall.



i have been wanting to see a normal vaginal delivery in the labour room since i started OBGYN posting. the last that i was there, wer only get to see the emergency C-sect being performed. ok, i must admit, we were the lucky ones to see that operation as not often does it occur.



so, as we were rounding in the delivery room, we came across this sweet petite chinese lady, miss lee, who was already in labour with her second pregnancy. she is so beautiful and she has the most amazing pregnant belly i have ever seen. she does not have any stretch marks and her belly was nicely contoured. we were talking to her to make her feel comfortable. after almost about 2 hours in labour, she was suffering from the contactions that she was having. i stood by her and told her to hold my hands. as i said, she is a petite lady. what i didn't know is that the strength that a woman has when she is labour pain. holding my hands was not an option, it was more like GRIPPING IT. GOD! she gripped my hand till i can't even feel them anymore and at one point, i thought that she was gonna break my bones already. really, i am not exagerrating, you'll have to try and you'll know how it is.



everytime she contracts, the gripping becomes harder. she almost lost control of herself as the pain that she was experiencing from was unbearable. i wanted to ask her, where exactly the pain was and could she describe it to me. i know, stupid question. but i kept my curiousity to myself, remembering that curiousity killed the cat, i don't wanna loose my hand by her breaking it.



after 2 hours of waiting, and our oncall time was almost over but we decided to go overtime as i wanted to wait for this lady, she is ready to deliver. she was crying and wailing in pain, but not like what you see in TV (those are just too much ok). delivering a baby is not an easy task as i see it, imagine how the mother feels. i am pretty sure mama worked real hard to deliver me into this world and i can never thank her enough or repay her enough for it.







we get to see 2 normal vaginal deliveries that night. i remembered saras challenging me: "you watch a normal vaginal delivery first and then you decide if you want to have a baby or not". although the sight is something not many could handle, i still think all this being pregnant and delivering is an experience that cannot be match once your baby is in your hands. i still want to have a baby of my own someday in the future with my future husband. but the first step in all that is:



getting a boyfriend.....