Saturday, August 16, 2008

(must you) blame it on me (?)

so when things go wrong, what do you do? try to fix it? try to find out the real cause? blame it on others? for some, the last option is the BEST option.

really, i can't stand it anymore. rasa sakit hati sangat when things like this happen. parents are just weird, most of the time. bukan niat hati nak burukkan keadaan anak derang. but because she is someone who needs alot of support and care, i want her to be a strong person. i want her to voice out her opinion. and she managed. i know she is a person who is as adamant as me. it is just that she has been under alot of control that she becomes like this.

as a good friend of hers, i listen to her stories and tell her that she is a better person in so many ways. i be truthful to her sebab i don't want to breach the trust that she has in me. kalau dia tak story kat aku apa yang ada dalam fikiran dia, dalam hati dia, dia takkan cerita kat orang lain. dan bila semuanya build up in her, she becomes depressed. aku kesahkan dia, aku tak nak tgk dia murung and sakit hati tak tentu pasal.

initially, semuanya ok. parents dia call aku, tanya aku, soh aku jaga dia, soh aku cakap ngan dia, soh aku nasihatkan dia. semua aku buat, bukan sebab parents dia soh aku buat. but because she is someone aku care alot about. but of course, bila dia dah stable macam ni, aku want to be truthful to her. i open up to her the things that her parents told me when she was rather unstable. aku tak nak ada perasaan syak wasangka antara aku ngan dia. and she appreciates that.

tapi masalahnya, parents dia tak see things that way. derang ingat aku ni takleh nak caya sebab aku buka cerita kat dia. kamon la, i'd rather loose their trusts than hers.

sekarang ni, aku mmg sedih gila la. kalau dia bersuara sikit, kalau dia cuba jadi independent sket, parents dia nak salahkan aku. dulu, soh dia hang around with me and jgn kawan ngan budak2 sembarangan. sekarang ni, parents dia soh dia jangan asyik lekat ngan aku je, gi la mix around. hello..... HYPOCRITE!!!

dulu sebut nama aku, tak lekang dari bibir. sekarang ni, sebut nama budak lain, sebab kononnya nak expand the group of friends. bukan aku CEMBURU ke apa. ko dah besarkan anak ko kan? you shud trust the way you brought up your own child. bukan tuduh anak orang lain sebab kau punya kesalahan.

kalau kau tak caya anak ko sendiri, maknanya kau tak caya yang ko dah besarkan dia sebaik mungkin. so, takyah la nak cakap pasal who she mixes with kan. asal sebut nama aku, korang nak gaduh anak beranak. what for? as adults, you should be able to make better judgements.

by blaming it on me, you are actually doubting your own capabilities of bringing up the "PERFECT" child that you wanted. sebelum nak cakap benda yang makan balik diri sendiri, baik kau fikir dulu. this is your flesh and blood, i am just an outsider supporting her.

don't blame it on me.


Anonymous said...

Alia, why do you have to react? if you know what you have done is the best fo her, nothing else matter. Good things are better kept a secret. God knows better. I brought you up to be refine, so please stop behaving like a non educated person.

intan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bellar0ssa said...

yep..hurm red dun w0rry.let it be. G0D knows better.DIA tau niat red yg sebenar,s0 juz ign0red it k.

hi red,i luv 2read ur bl0g.seriously.
hee.m da 0ne fr0m tirupur.india tuh. but m n0t indian.hee.Malaysian but stdying here..well nice knwing u.

miao_jo said...

u r not an outsider

redSeptember said...

ciao bella!

thanks for your comment and your support. i'll keep on writing for you to enjoy my stories.