Friday, August 15, 2008


when i was a very rebellious child/teenager, i was very adamant with what i say and what i want. everything has to be my way and i am defensive of myself when i know for sure that i am right. i don't like to be stepped on, and i definitely hate to be told what to do to run my own life. yes, i may be young, but my judgements need to be trusted.

as the years pass, i noticed something: fighting back there and then and harshly, does not make the situation any better. infact, it'll become worse, for me, and for whoever that i was fighting against. be it an authoritive figure, be it a friend, both parties will in the end turn sour to each other.

i was a volcano under pressure, waiting to burst as the temperature nears the boiling point. i was full of anger and vengeance. but i am much more subdued now. i prefer to keep things to myself. i prefer to be silent, and to some, my silence is just deafening.

when i have nothing nice to say, i'd rather not say anything at all. not that i want to be rude and not talk to people. but i know, once i open my mouth to speak, nasty things (that is actually the reality) will just flow out. i am aware of others' feeling, that is why i choose to shut my trap.

i am not good at playing chess, wait, what is chess?? ehhehe one thing that i am certain of is that chess is a very tactical game and you have to have a good strategy to win it. i may not know my pawns from my bishops when it comes to looking at the real chess set. but i know how the game is supposed to be: be patient, loose a little, than gain alot!

i play loads of chess in my life now. i play them silently with my opponents, they never know who they are. i be more quiet, subdued, and when the peak comes, i strike back by saying it silently in the corner of my mind: CHECKMATE.

in the end, i win, although it makes the opponent thinks that they have won me over. i get things the way i want them to be without them realizing it. therefore, no need for the fighting and sour faces.

you'll never know when i decide to play life chess with you. just be prepared.....

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