Monday, August 4, 2008

an open letter

dear honeycoat,

you must wonder why i am nicknaming you by that name, yeah? well, it is very simple actually. it is because you turn everything around you sweet and nice, therefore your presence is very much appreciated. when i say sweet, i mean the good sweet ok. see, honey is a non-refined product, therefore the calorie in it is the good ones. whereas refined sugar, just make you plain old FAT. so, what i am trying to say here is that you are not fake like others who just sugar-coat everything but deep within, they are not as sweet as they seem.

ok, why am talking crap here? haizzz (0-_-"0)

anyway......the reason why i wrote you this letter is because i heard a bird telling me that you wanted to end your life the other day. i made myself have ear constipation and refused to listen to the news or believe that it was true. but to my dismay, it was real. you did attempt suicide, you wanted to jump into the river. then, i thought again: haiiiyyaaahhh!!! why la you want to jump in there? the river is so blahdy dirty and i know for sure, that you have an obsession to cleanliness. why la you want to jump in there? can you imagine if you survived the jump and yet you are soaked in filthy water? ieeee.....geeeellliiii..... but alhamdulillah, you were caught in the nick of time. your attempt failed.

thank GOD.

but honeycoat, why, now that i am pretty sure you are getting better and very far away from the day that you attempted suicide, do you still ponder and dwell upon that situation and keep on asking yourself: "why i didn't let go?" kamon la honeycoat.... that is a STUPID question, don't you think? there must be a reason why it didn't happen, right? GOD has good things instore for you. all you need to be is, patient.

i believe good things come in many ways possible, all you need to do is unveil the barrier that has been covering your vision from seeing the good.

please honeycoat. i am sometimes confused myself. one minute i see you laughing (and i am so happy to hear you laugh like that again after soooooo long), the next minute, you mention about that situation again, you-know-who as your trigger, and all the negative thoughts in your head. don't la lidat honeycoat. i never said that you are a burden to me, neither have i run away from you no matter what condition you are in. so please don't apologize again and again and again about this. you are not at fault. i am helping you because you ARE my FRIEND (and i love you).

you know i don't like to repeat and to be repeated to.

whatever that we are going thru right now, this thing called LIFE, it ain't a bag of chocos (you know this is our weakness kan heheh). we can't be lucky all the time and we can't be in the high steps all the time either. but what we can be is, THANKFUL, that is something that we are able to control. you know i have gone thru alot in my life as well, but i don't let the negatives pull me down, instead, i made them as lessons that i should benefit from. they make me stronger, wiser (i am pretty sure abt this), and much more happier, ironically. now, lets surround ourselves with POSITIVES. the past is the past, we cannot forget it, but we shall not dwell upon it (buang masa aja...) either. we have the power to make a better future. you are STRONG, you need to know that.

we have one life only, make good use of it.

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