sad + angry = tears

......literally....this is because, of what had happened in the hospital. today, the blahdy dr. pelik (not HOD, just simply pakar bedah) was doing his rounds today. i was dressed rather decently (or so i thought).


this was what i was wearing. something my ma have worn to many corporate meetings. it was a hand-me-down (more like me nabbing it from her cupboard) from her. i am sure this is rather decent as it was just stripes and i was wearing a university blouse. my labcoat was on me, and i wasn't showing any midriff flesh. so, what was wrong about my dressing??


i was clerking my patient when dr. pelik came in with the other MOs and HOs and nurses. i walked away from my patient to make way for his team. the first thing that came out from his mouth was:
"kenapa derang ni pelik arr? pakai macam ni? awak ni mmg memalukan profession betul. awak ni ingat nak pergi disco ke? awak pergi balik, pergi tukar apa yang awak pakai ni. awak keluar dari wad saya sekarang."

he was saying more things that i can't quite phatom anymore. before he could finish, i just walked out without looking at his face, without even allowing him to talk to me anymore. as i was walking away i could hear him say:
"ey, ey" like calling me. i still walked off. "keluar dari wad saya sekarang, saya tak nak tengok muka awak kat dalam wad ni"


i don't want to see your face either jerk. let alone be in the same wad as you are.


i was so damn angry that he did this to me. this is really not professional. if he has problems with me, take me aside and talk to me nicely. if he were to reprimand me because of my lack of knowledge, i wouldn't mind, prolly i even deserve it. but, because of my dressing that was fairly decent? i can't take it at all!!


i went out of the ward. went to the staircase, called mama all the way.......

.....and out of nowhere, i started crying. i was shocked myself. even the matron that passed me in the staircase, turned back to console me. she was trying to ease me for about 3 mins but i assure her that i was ok, because i was with my mum on the phone. i didn't cry because dr. pelik scolded me, i don't even know why i was crying! i guess, it was more because i am too angry and too sad to see that they are these kind of people who are too low in their mentality level and still exist in this modern world.

today, after more than 6 months (i think), i CRIED. i really did. i hate everything. thank GOD for mama..... she was the only one that made me feel so much better today......

please gimme some tips on what is accepted to be worn in this kind of mentality (read: government services).