This is no LOVEing matter

14th february 2008, according to my computer clock, it is about 1 hour and 22 minutes away. then, it would be THE day, the MOST celebrated day of the year by all the people in love, in like, in crush, in flirt, in affair, in non-exclusively dating, in exclusively dating, in secretly dating, in mutually dating, in anything to do with the feeling of wanted and wanting.

let it rain LOVE tomorrow. everyone prays that the world had more LOVE than hate or jealousy. but as for me, i just keep on living my life as it is....single, i mean. to tell you the truth, i am afraid to be in love, but i want to. how contradicting right? it is as if i'd rather be parachuting (which i want to do before i turn a year older) than taking the risk to fall in love, all over again.

i am afraid to admit the feeling that i feel inside. is it so hard? i always wonder.... i used to be able to say it in a heartbeat (if ever i had one) to someone i thought i fancied. that was the major ass problem, it felt right at that moment, 2 days later, i was like "shaites, why hasn't he called? he hates me....". i get all paranoid and stupid. so, what makes it any easier for me to admit (if ever) i have feelings for anyone? nothing, i guess. i just keep on selling the hardcore facade of me to the outer world, when the inside, deep inside, i am just screaming to let (something) out.

i guess i'd better wait. it is true that when you least expect it, it will come. you know when it is right when you don't doubt it.it'll be more exciting then, it'll be more promising (how i wish).

...but then again, when it comes to this shaite called LOVE, i am an accident just waiting to happen. more like a trainwreck, where it turns out to be hell in the end. i don't want that to happen, see.

what shall i do? what shall i feel?

wait, simply just wait.

Happy VALENTINE'S Day Everyone.... *hugs*