i can't quite remember what time it was very early in the morning today. i am pretty sure it was already past 1 in the morning. i was already in bed trying to get some shut eye. nothing significant had occured that night. it was the same as any other night. nothing at all. it wasn't raining, i didn't feel weird. i was just tired and i wanted to get some sleep.
as i lay in bed drifting my mind away from the thoughts of that day, something happened. i could feel that my whole body was pressed down by a really heavy something. i knew already what was that. that was "it", the thing that has been following me all these while but i chose to ignore it. this kind of situation occurs every now and then. it used to be not that often, but nowadays, as i remember, it is coming to me, EACH month. somehow, i got used to it. i read a few verses from the Qur'an, get myself detangled from that thing and then as soon as i am free, i will switch on the Qur'an reading from my laptop, and then the night just flow to morning without anything weird happening.
but not this morning.
it came again. that really heavy invinsible mass that i cannot tell what it is. i could breath properly, no problem with that. but my whole body was pressed down that i can't move at all. i started to recite some verses from the Qur'an, but it still was holding me down. i could feel my hands moving, trying to free myself from its angey grasp, i really could. but the weirdest thing is, my eyes were open and i cannot see my hands moving at all. it was as if i was pinned down on my bed. at one point, i was somewhat out of my body because i can see me lying there motionless but i am moving, trying to fight this thing away.
no, this is not a dream.
the thing wanted to enter my body but i didn't allow it. i was somehow fighting it, while at the same time reciting the holy Qur'anic verses. after what seems like a good five minutes, the thing just disappears into thin air and i am back into my physical body. i immediately put on the readings from the Qur'an on my laptop and tried to discard all the images from my mind of what had just happened.
it never became this bad. now i really don't know what it wants.