Words cannot convey

I was jogging just now with the earplugs in my ears. Wasn't any song in particular but suddenly I started snickering. I risked being called a weirdo, and almost laughed my heart out when songs, other than the ones that I was actually listening to, was playing in my head.

And these songs (Can't touch this, Airplane, Rojak) remind me so much of my dear sisters. I miss being with them, laughing our hearts out at nothing and everything. There is not a dull moment between us. The only time that we are quiet is when one of us falls asleep, and that will be me, as I am the first to fall asleep all the time especially during movie nights.


Life is funny when we are near, we drive each other crazy with our own uniqueness. But when we are apart, we can't stand the distance.

I always go through the pictures in my phone which is mostly of my family. And I found this picture that fits perfectly in my homescreen. My Mamak and the love of her life, Shadi.

We can never agree on one thing. But I am pretty sure that we can agreen on this: we miss each other like crazy and nothing can describe that feeling right now.

Gravida Para

Please find what is wrong in this proforma.

It does not really require a genius to see what is wrong with it. But I guess the REAL geniuses are those who actually came up with such a thing.

I am not naming names here.

Alor Setar

I can't believe my eyes when I saw Alor Setar on the roadmap of Vienna.

OMG, Alor Setar is so the very international.

RasaMas

This set that consists of a full meaty chicken piece, plus a bowl of soup, plus beancurd stirfry, plus rice, plus special sauce, costs RM9.40

This piece of bony chicken, smaller than the first picture and they claim that it is "QUARTER chicken", costs rm9.90

RasaMas, you are fucking kidding me right?

That will be the first and last time that I will be eating from RasaMas.

Fyi, we ate at RasaMas Tesco Alor Setar branch.

Because talk is cheap

Why do we talk to each other? To make opinions, thoughts, feelings, and almost everything transfer from a whole brain to the other, without we realizing the whole amazing complicated process of it. And because we didn't realize, this has made many a conversation defective ones as the messages that were supposed to go through did not meet its true purpose.

I wanted to talk to you as how we did before, but that could never happen now. Tried my level best all the time to be diplomatic, but still, nothing. You were angry with me when I wrote about our failing relationship. Said that I shouuld have gone to you straight. Well, FYI, let me make this easy for you, I F**Ki*G DID. And guess what I got for that? Oh, you need not to guess cause you are on the giving end, and me on the receiving end of your very hostile personality, only with ME.

You know what, I always tell myself (because my mother has brought me up nicely so), that no matter how much mean the world can be, all I need to do is brush it off and smile, and that automatically makes me the better person. So, I did. And yeah, that does make me the better person in so many ways.

Don't think that I am confused. That I don't understand what you mean. I do. Actually, I think that you are kinda confused yourself when you told me to get to you on a personal level to talk if I had anything going on about you that I needed to say. Hey, I did OK, and you bloody well knew it.

And what did I get in return for conforming to your suggestion?

Shit.

Thanks alot for nothing.

Childbirth

The first night when I clocked in for my oncall in the Labour Room, I thought to myself: "owhhh.... this is gonna be a long one". Since this is all about waiting, and waiting, and more waiting.

Then I went to my first room because the mother has already been screaming in the room due to labour pain. So I assume some action is going on in there to deliver the child.

As I flipped the curtain, immediately, I saw a baby's head in between the mother's leg. I saw her face that showed indescribable agony. And all I could think of at that precise moment was: Mamak.

I replaced everyone in the Labour Room with my life. The mother is Mamak, the baby is me, the staffs were all from UHKL instead from HSB.

I love my Mamak. That is all that I wanted to say actually.

You come again, and please, can you go again?

I didn't want to write about this because it seems that it didn't matter at all. But as much as I tried to sweep it to the side, as adamant, it comes back to the center of my thoughts. Why must it be that way? God, this sucks.

After a good 4 years, you suddenly called me back. At first I did not recognize your voice, but after a few minutes, you sound so damn familiar. I know you, and by the sound of it, I knew you well. But still, I couldn't process my thought long enough to figure out who you are.

And then you told me. I was shocked. Flabbergaster. Awestrucked. There could be many more words to describe my stunted moment at that time but you took all the words away. How could you have done that?

The history that was between us made me think. Made me cut off all the ties that we had between us, as friends, as close friends, as whatever. After that one moment when we were on the phone way back when, I said to myself: "never again". And now you call me back? As Adam Lambert would say: "what do you want from me?"

I asked, and asked, and asked some more. So you finally said that you missed me, some way or the other other. But I didn't want to accept that answer cause it was wrong. So I probe some more and you finally came out with the whole truth. You needed a REAL friend to talk to because you are having trouble in paradise.

I knew it.

I already told you and told myself that whatever feelings that I had for you, I don't want it to come back and I won't allowed it to come back. We can be friends, and it ends there, FRIENDS.

So, friend, lets not hurt each other like how we did before.

We are each others' past and let it be.

Worth the wait.

I didn't expected this at all. I was so tired and sleepy that even when I heard a blasting honking postman outside, I couldn't be bothered. Thank God my housemate got down and attended to the postman.

The package was for me.

It was wrapped and packed in so many layers that I almost gave up opening it. But once I saw what was inside, I was all smiles.... if only I could picture my expression.

Thanks so much tay-wo-wais!

To the bank!

Mamak told me the story of her and Amal looking for the local bank when they arrived in Vienna in the early days. With no knowledge of the German language, they marched to the streets and start looking for a bank to start their lives in Vienna.

Mamak being a very confident woman, started seeing the sign that reads "EINBAHN". She knows for sure that that sounds like it is pointing to the bank. So, with Amal in tow, they followed the sign. And kept on following, and following and following.....

But after 30 minutes of walking, there are no banks in sight.

No wonder.

"EINBAHN" means "ONE WAY".

My Mamak is very the clever.

Fitness Second (Only in Istanbul)

Being ardent gym-goers, Yayah and I decided to take a look at the gym that was in the Azuyade Hotel that we stayed in while we were in Istanbul. We know for sure that we will be piling up on the food, especially me as I love the rustic taste of the food here. From kebabs to turkish coffees to sweet delicacies, I downed them all without minding the calorie count.

But after seeing the gym, I was worried as the equipments look like they were from 1948 and I guess if I were to take a run on the threadmill, I am pretty sure I'll break it in the first 5 mins.

So, in the end, I still ate like there was no tomorrow but killed the calories with 10,000 steps on heels, up hill!

You caught me by surprise

I was all wrong about the riddle that I was supposed to solve. I did put in my list Paris or Italy, but I never mentioned Istanbul, the one place that I really wanted to go since early this year.

I wanted to go there because of the rustic feel of the place. The history, the cheap stuffs that you can get (we got this wrong actually as most of the stuffs are expensive as we stayed in a tourist area), the lovely variety of food (but of course no place beats Malaysia for this), the hot guys (some of them), and of course the view of the sea.

It was a short-lived trip but it was all worth it. We had a great time and I survived the whole trip wearing 4-inch heels! Half of the time, I had to walk with only my socks on because my feet were killing me as the alleys there are made of uneven bricks. Although my feet hurts, I keep on forgetting about it as I was too buzy enjoying the wonderful trip.

Thanks Mamak and Shadi for the lovely trip and thanks to my lovely sisters for putting up with my crazies :)