Aku lemah dalam hal ini....

Banyak benda yang aku rasa aku boleh buat, especially bila orang cabar aku. Maklum la, darah perwira mengalir dalam badan aku. Jadi aku pantang dicabar.

Tapi bila adik beradik aku sekali ngan mak aku cabar aku macam ni, aku terus jadi lemah. Aku lebih rela pergi bungee jumping, skydiving, makan bugs, slide kat waterfall, dan macam2 lagi. Tapi satu perkara neh, serious, aku memang lemah.

Derang cabar aku potong rambut.... X_x

I don't know if I can do it or not, but yes, I am definitely thinking of it.


Style macam ni OK tak?

OK, OK, Ma, bila kita pergi sana nanti, kita pergi potong rambut I ok?

Please la don't dare me difficult things lidis T_T

Not the same

Hey you, I'll never be the same whenever we meet again. So, do not leave, as you won't see me the way you used to see me before...

But please....

Be as you are as I saw you before.

Information counter

Have you ever gone to an information counter to ask questions and expected to be answered adequately? Once at least? Well, I definitely have. In fact, I love going to the information counter to ask questions, all the time.

But when someone comes up to me and asks me a gazillion questions, do you think I have ALL the answers? NO!! oh please!! Spare me some space. I need to breath too. That though, does not mean that you can't ask me anything. Of course you can. But just gimme some time OK. I need space to think. Yes, petty questions that you can use your noodles to think with, please, ask a 10 year old for the answers...OK?

And also, if you ask me questions and you expect the answer to be the answer that you want to hear, I can't do that either. Or if you ask me questions and you don't believe my answers, then please, don't ask. I am not a miracle, I am just human. I can't set a smile on my face and go on answering you with a lie, unless you want me to. Well, actually I can do that, but don't blame me eh? :)

So, anyway, my question to you: do I look like an information counter?

Choices

Try put yourself in this situation: you are made to choose between the one you truly love and your family. Which one will be your choice?

The logical answer will be choosing your family over the one you love. After all, they have been there all your life and has been supporting you in so many ways, it is unfair for you to let them go and choose the person you love. But then again, if your family loves you, don't they want to see you happy too? OK, they may say that they know what is best for you, but really, do they know you that well?

I know that there are many people out there who sacrificed their love just so that their family is happy. In the end, they are the one who suffer. Living a life full of facade, trying to be happy, trying so hard to satisfy the others, except themselves. It is a selfless act I might say. But then again, those who choose the person they love will be termed as selfish, why is that so?

What about the family? Aren't they selfish too if they were to impose a life, a future on that individual when that individual has no say at all? Using health, status, and anything under the sun as ammunitions to make the individual feel guilty if he/she were to choose the love of her/his life? Is that fair?

Unless that individual has been living in the caves for most of his/her life, then someone has the rights to map her/his future. Other than that, I guess we do need freedom to learn and live our own lives... don't you agree?

To my girlfriend, stay calm, breath, and be strong. Life is never fair.

Serupa macam takde

Ada internet kat sini, serupa macam takde. The connection here is so unstable, I could bet an ECG sign of unstable angina may show if we were to connect the leads to this ancient laptop.

Megguna internet kat rumah ni serupa macam aku jadi orang nomad. Dari satu tempat ke satu tempat terpaksa beralih nak dapatkan coverage yang terbaik. Bila aku tanya CELCOM, they claimed that the walls are the major culprit that is causing my net to be uber slow. OMG!! takyah nak auta ngan aku la. Aku bukannya tinggal kat dalam rumah yang dinding dia macam vault kat bank tu kan.

Ada masa, if you are lucky, you will see me perched on the foot steps outside my house. Sampaikan kawan aku ingat ada hantu ke apa dok bertenggek kat depan rumah. Setiap kali aku pakai net kat luar rumah, dia mesti kena heart attack. Terkejut la katakan.

Kalau tak kat luar rumah, aku menyemak depan pintu masuk. Macam2 jenis posing aku buat, still net macam haram. Kalau tengok dari jauh pun, orang boleh silap besar ingat aku ada scoliosis ke apa, duduk gaya tu. Orang tua2 kata, jangan duduk depan pintu, nanti takde saper nak datang meminang. Haa elok sangat la tu... takde chance la aku nampak gayanya....

Huhuhu... internet boleh buat aku gila!!! AARRRRGGGHHHH!!!

Aku kembali ke zaman silam...

OK it is official: aku dah berjaya dengan geramnya, melemparkan jauh ke tanah cholan, handphone Chokia 93i aku itu yang sudah mencapai usia tua bangkanya iaitu 4 tahun. Aku dah tak tahan dengan perangai nyanyuk nya yang kerap membuat tekanan darah ku naik mendadak sehinggakan aku boleh rasa aura2 angin ahmar yang mampir dekat. Kalau buat ECG setiap kali aku guna Chokia tu, pasti reading ECG ku akan menunjukkan seperti aku ni pesakit jantung yang sudah bertahun lamanya.

Aku tak mahu mengambil risiko itu. Jadi, selamat tinggal Chokia 93i....



Dari telefon yang lebih canggih dari telefon lain pada zaman kegemilangannya, kini aku pasrah dan kembali ke zaman silam. OMG! from 3G to 2G, aku boleh naik G!! (gila!!). Ahhh... lantak, janji aku masih boleh communicate dengan dunia luar. Tapi disebabkan sim card aku adalah 3G tapi telefon yang aku berjaya cilok itu adalah 2G, jangan salahkan aku kalau coverage aku macam haram....

Oh, sungguh aku tak sabar untuk kehadiran fon baru.... ehemm... ehemm...

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me....

....but I'd rather die with those sticks and stones then hearing those words that break me.

I don't really care what others say about me. Really, I don't. But I get overly sensitive when someone I really care about and someone I really love says something hurtful, my heart just breaks into million pieces. Yes, sometimes, they don't mean what they say at the moment they said it but the word just penetrate deep in my heart and embeds itself there like... forever.

I tried my level best to just brush those things away. Those words that cut me deep, but I can't, my personality just doesn't allow me to do so. I can forgive but I can never forget. But no worries though, because these days, I don't use those hurtful memories as a means for revenge. Being revengeful, I think, just drains all the positive thoughts in me that I have been mustering for these past few years. I was not a cheerful person before. Now that I am, I shall not let the evil get the best of me.

I may appear to not be strong enough to fend for myself. Yes, I am not. I need support, I need people that loves me around me to bring me back to reality when I am down. But lets not forget when those times that my strength was the strength that wipe your tears away, that stood between you and pain, that held your hand when you were trembling with fear? Yes, I am not strong, especially when simple words can kill me.

Then again, I'd rather die with the sticks and stones...

Only in Russia....

Aku tak mendengar, aku mencuba.

Sebelum pindah ke Alor Setar, banyak betul desas desus mengatakan tempat ni tak best la, takde apa la, cost of living tinggi la, itu la, ini la. Tapi aku lain, aku memang tak sabar nak pindah ke Alor Setar. Banyak sebab kenapa aku nak sangat keluar dari rumah lama aku di Sungai Petani. Tak perlu la aku nyatakan disini kenapa. So, faham2 aja la....

Bila aku sampai disini, memang pada mulanya agak susah nak ke sana sini. Nak tahu bank kat mana, post office kat mana, nak tahu maxis kat mana. Samada aku tanya orang atau aku Google je. Aku tak mendengar kata2 dulu yang mengatakan tempat ni tak best. Belum cuba, belum tahu. Alhamdulillah, I am liking this place, one step at a time.

Lagi satu, aku ada kawan, tak ramai. Tapi kira cukup la nak buat satu korum. Mereka ni kalau dalam the dating arena, biasa akan date orang yang lebih tua, atau sama umur. Kononnya kalau date dengan orang muda ni, tak sesuai. Ermm... apa yang tak sesuainya? Kan ke umur itu hanya arbitrary figure sahaja? Bukankah kematangan itu lebih penting? Bukankah kebahagiaan itu lebih menjadi bahan fokus? Jadi apa salahnya kalau date orang yang tak sama jurusan, atau lebih muda, atau memang takde persamaan dengan diri aku? Aku tak kisah untuk mencuba.

Selalu aku dengar orang kata: "Jangan buat tu, jangan buat ni". But I go ahead and do it anyway. Mama aku memang dah tahu perangai curious aku ni. It is either you tell me something with logic and reason with me, or you tell me something but I still go ahead with it. Bukan aku nak rebel ke apa.. Tapi bak kata orang yang aku actually ikut la kan: "Belum cuba, belum tahu".

I don't learn from listening. I learn from mistakes.

Treeman VS Cauliflowerman

I am sure many of you heard and have seen somewhere on the WWW of the Treeman in Indonesia. He live most of his live growing root-like warts all over his body, hands, feet and face. His wife left him and he was working in a freak show exhibition just to put food on the table and to support himself and his children.


When I first learned of Dede, I was fascinated by the story and I wanted to know more. I even have a dream of meeting him personally and touching those root-like projections and wonder how did all this happened. It is really amazing how the normal human tissues can transform into dry roots. Just amazing. You can read more about Dede here

Recently, on the day of my on call, which was last Tuesday, I decided to work in the emergency department for a few hours, just to pass time while the hospital doors are open for family and friends to visit the patients. I can be doing my work in the wards as the patients will be swarmed by dotting visitors.

As I was busy running from a catheter insertion to attending to an accident victim, I found myself walking towards the procedure room hoping to get some suturing done on some patients. I saw that the curtains were drawn and I was really hoping to jump into a suturing procedure. But what welcomed me behind those curtains were more than I had expected.

As I entered, the student nurses were cleaning a stump on a 50 years old man. I thought it was just one of those poorly-cared diabetic stump. But when I took a good look at it, it was actually a growth on the man's congenitally defected foot. He was born without a foot and in the pass 4-6 months, a cauliflower-like growth has taken place of the stump.


The man came in because he accidentally hit his stump on the floor and it bleed massively. I told the student nurses to let me guide them in cleaning the stump and growth as the creases between the growth was already smelling really fowl. I usually work without my mask on, no matter how fowl the case is. But this time round, I had to put a mask on.

I talked to the patient casually, creating a rapport between me and him, and also creating a trust. I want him to know that we want to help the best we can so that he can rid himself of the growth that is actively growing. To consider the time that it has taken to grow, it could mean that the growth is of a malignant origin.

The man could loose the entire of his left leg because most of his superficial vessels are non-viable.

I am so happy to be the first persons to see this Cauliflowerman in Malaysia. So I guess it really pays to be a little proactive in doing what I love, surgery and acute and emergecy.

Your ass is in my face

I was waiting for my turn in the bank. Owh-em-jii!! Seriously, I have no idea how the system works here. How the numbers are called. I waited like 40mins, almost until the bank closes before my number was up. But it's OK.... I have tonnes of patience in me :)

Anyway, as I was waiting, here, right in front of my face were 2 persons. One as big as the counter in front of him, and the other half the size of him. They are just the normal everyday customers of the bank. But what caught my eyes was when one of them bend over the counter and all hell broke loose.


There it was, the full Monty. His underpants was half-way down his butt cheeks and his pants were lower than that. I was almost blinded by what I saw and I was just thinking to myself: "What is the use of the belt??"

Then I was observing his friend who accompanied him. The friend was there all throughout the wait at the counter. The friend looked a bit tired and then hence leaned on the counter for some quick rest....


Judging by the fingernails, do you think the friend is a he or a she?

Who would have known?

I have known her since 13 years ago. We were friends and known as the back benchers of the class. Not because we were lazy, but simply because we are to tall to be anywhere near the front seats. We joked, we became close, and somehow a bond of more than just friends developed between us. We became the Ronggengs.... a band of sisters, different in so many ways yet so close together.

Last Friday I got a call from my aunt. She was just talking about nothing and I was just hanging on the phone with her. The conversation did not strike my attention until she mentioned that my friend was with her. Initially, I had someone else in mind as I already knew that this other 'friend' turned out to be my far relation.

And she mentioned "Olin".

I was wondering why in God's name is Rozel hanging out with my aunt. After much talk and gossiping, I was told that actually, Rozel and I are somewhat related. The furthest of relations maybe, I am not too sure. But, we are related. I was like WHOA!

After 13 years of friendship, we never knew that we are related and now that we know, I think it is just awesome!