Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I am expressing myself. So, excuse me.

I just don't know why sometimes, people just can't assume the best of me but the worse. Really, am I that terrible? Am I that damaged? Or is it that I am a target for everything? For their hate, for their anger, or for their lack of faith in their own selves?

Why do they think that when something is amiss, it is me to blame for? When the usual things are not in place, why is me that they ask first? Why not the other person who by the way is also at the same place, at the same time? Is it just because the other person is more "trustworthy" in their eyes, or because they are too "close" they can't blame each other. So, to take the anger away, they blame me? When I wasn't doing anything. Wasn't even moving. Wasn't even there?

And then when I am not there at specific times, they assume that I am out to do bad things. I am forgetting myself, my responsibilities, my life. Why? Am I that? I don't think so.

It hurts me, but no one knows. Does anyone ever ask me my opinion on things that are happening?

I am not what you think I am
I am not your target
I am not your scape goat
I am me.

Shit..... I am just expressing myself.


hasni said...

ayok red
be tough!
jadi dr sndri ok
biar sj org2 itu

redSeptember said...

thanks hasni. memang REd tengah nak cuba endahkan. tapi kadang2, tersebak juga rasa hati when people say these things you know. especially when they have already known you for so long....