Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I remember

I still remember that night, when you and her were discussing about me, about my future. Telling me the options, telling me what is best for me, oh, I'm sorry, telling me what you think is best for me.

You even secretly went through my personal files. Looking through my performances all those while. It was part of my mistake for leaving my stuffs around like that. But that was my house, I was allowed to do so. But as a guest, I am sure you would know better because you are older, and should have been wiser.

I looked up to you to help me just because my Mamak wasn't around. She was out in the world working her heart out to support all of her children, all on her own. She trusted you to give the best advise to me. She trusted you because you are the one that should have been the pillar to us all.

But then you told me, that I wasn't cut out for this. That I wasn't smart enough to give this a try, to give studying medicine a try. You even suggested another discipline that I have no idea of, that I have no interest of. You didn't trust me enough that I could do medicine.

Thank God I went against you.

Maybe I am not as smart as your children. Maybe I am not as confident as them. But let me tell you this, I am glad that I am not like them at all because now, they are just confused. They are being people who they are not deep inside. You know what, I pity them, and most of all, I pity you.

I have long forgiven you because everyone makes mistakes, especially adults like you who think that the world revolves around you. But I can never forget those words that you said to me that night: "I don't think you can do medicine because your results are not good"

It was a long journey for me. It wasn't like a bed of roses, which I thank God for because now, I truly appreciate what I have achieved and it has humbled me so much, Alhamdulillah.

I can only thank you for not believing in me because now, I have proven you wrong.

What a pity.

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