T - 7: nanchaku memecahkan tingkap aku

REd tak pernah tau pun bendalah ni nama dia NANCHAKU (macam buah ciku pun ada juga bunyinya kan?).

sekarang ni jam 0428hours. pasal apa aku tak tido lagi? pasal insomnia aku dah datang balik. aku rasa aku dah boleh narrow down kenapa yang aku kena recurrent chronic insomnia ni tau. sebab aku banyak sangat berfikir. serious, macam macam ada dalam kepala ni. study la, family la, hidup la, kawan la, lawan la, you name it. oh, bai the way, aku jaga sejak 0156hours tadi. sebelum tu, aku tido pukul 2304hours. see, tere kan aku? (tere kehapanya. aku nak tido la weii!!)

so, sebab REd tak dapat nak lelap, REd nak tulis la pasal kisah yang telah terjadi pada senja 1 Jan 2009.

masa tu REd tengah study for the paper that i was about to sit for the very next day. my level of concentration was already nearing zero, but my level of stress was sky high, and my level of consciousness... well, lets just say that at that moment, i wasn't aware of my surroundings. just my books and my notes.

aku dengar jo-ee balik, and at some point she was conversing with me (i think :P). i am pretty sure i replied to her questions carefully, worrying that i might be mumbling things straight from my TEN TEACHERS. i minded my own business, and jo-ee was practicsing to use the nanchaku with her TKD master, right outside my window. at the same time, some of ying's friends were over for dinner. things were going on, conversations were taking place, i was totally in my zone.

then, i heard a loud blow. reflexively, i looked to my left. what i saw did not register soon enough for me to finally realize: "hey, tingkap aku dah pecah". it sounded like as if someone just shot a bullet thru the window, no, i am not making up stories. immediately, i stood up, drew my curtain, and looked outside. TKD master was looking inside at me, jo-ee was already at my door, apologizing frantically. i....... i don't want to talk, i don't want to say anything, i don't want to get angry. i just want to clean up the mess, get things back in order, and sit and read.

as i was cleaning up the mess, i heard she said to TKD master: "she is really angry already. she is too quiet" .yes, that is my habit. when i get really angry, i know that there will be too many harsh words that will travel from my tounge to the recipients' eardrums. hence, the situation will get more complicated than it was already is. then, why bother go thru all the trouble, eh? i'd rather just close up and do what was necessary: pick up the pieces. they were busy too, cleaning up alongside me. TKD master was doing the damage control by covering that big hole in the window with trashcan lining. well, dude, that didn't do any good actually. i am currently being bitten by mosquitoes as i am typing here.

as i was doing my thing, in my very deafening silence, i could see that they were whispering among each other instead of talking. they must have panicked (or scared. i can't really tell). as soon as i was done, i went straight back to my desk, started reading (or at least started trying to read), and pretending as if nothing had happened. the whispers continued and not long after, TKD master came to my room with jo-ee: "alia, i am going back already"
REd: "uhuh, ok"
TKD master: "sorry about what just happened. the nanchaku broke and hit your window"
REd: "dude, accidents happen. let it go man. i am willing to let it go"
TKD master: "didn't know that you are having exams tomorrow. sorry again, and good luck"
REd: "well, now you know. thanks"

after that, the night just didn't go normally. jo-ee's guilt was so strong that i could feel it in the air. about 30mins later, i wasn't angry anymore. i just couldn't care. my exams are more important. i'm like: "whatev....."

lalalallala.....

jam sekarang menunjukkan 0455hours. i am still effing wide awake. aku nak tido.... tolong!!