Just between us

"Unlike you guys, so luxurious, can go back early after night shift. We have to work the whole day".

But...........

We are awake most of the time at night.
We are being called almost every other 30 minutes to be noted about something.
We do our best not to notify you so much so that we have a good relationship.

And..........

We also know that you go through the same.
But to compare the snooze hours,
We think you get more than us.

So...........

Lets just not compare ourselves and just be passionate and sincere in our responsibilities, i.e: our jobs.

HO survival kit: There is no such thing as freedom of speech.

I believe that your own page/blog space is your own private territory. You are allowed to express anything that your heart feels. Things that you can't say outside the world wide web, as if you were to say those things out there, they will penalize you for sharing what you think.

Truth be told, there are people who likes to read your blog. Problem is, these people aren't happy that you are expressing your feelings here. Trouble will be on the way to find you once you say something bad (although it is the hardcore truth) about them. Aren't we supposed to be open to comments and make ourselves better based on the comments thrown to us?

Weird, once you are here, your voice and opinions are trapped. If you are daring enough, it is off with your head!

Sometimes, I hope there are more people like Tun M. He thinks far.

Dr. Love Bite

I was on call the other day and of course being in the new department almost all the patients are eventful. It was considered a rather good call as in not many patients were were admitted during one time. They were spread out throughout the day.

But one particular patient, he was obviously very eventful. He apparently became desaturated twice in the same day about 3 hours apart. The first time, I was assisted by the MO on call and the patient revived, so all of us went away happy.

The second time however, the patient desaturated again and I was attending to him first. I ordered the staff nurses to call the MO that was on call with me. The MO on call was already in the ward at that time. Lets name the MO on call, Love Bite (LB). LB came and I was presenting the case to LB while at the same time trying to revive the patient. I guess LB wasn't listening to me as LB tried LB'e lever best to repeat each sentenced I said to LB, but most of the time, the sentences were wrong.

LB didn't even touch the patient. All LB did was ordered things and went away while the patient wasn't revived yet. Then LB came and rudely told me that I need to document all this, weird part is, LB didn't even touch the patient. So who was the one that was actually trying to help the patient?

With LB's neck at that time, full of fresh love bites, LB tried to cover the marks. But it was so obvious that as if LB was trying hard enough to show them off. And then LB just walked away, with the patient still not revived.

So, I did it all on my own with the help of the staff nurses. Even they were wondering how could the MO do that? Just leave and let go? When asked to help call the MO from other concurrent teams to help, LB didn't even want to do that. LB asked me to do it, while I was actually trying to revive the patient. Can you imagine?

So I called the other team's MO and told the MO what is going on. All the MO could do was asked me: "If I come down to see the patient, what do you want me to do?". Like, for reals? You are the MO, you should know better.

Finally, the patient revived, I was the one who did it with my staff nurses. The staff nurse even said: "Doc, I think you should be a junior MO. And show those other MOs that you are better than them."

**Smiles.....

As you go higher, your attitude deteriorates.

Insya'Allah, I will never do that.

HO survival kit: Konichiwa, Arigato, Sayonara

4 months has passed in my life as a HO. I have gone through many things in my first posting. Some of them happy memories, some of them I just let pass as another bad memory that should be forgotten.

I have pushed against the wall many times, and yet, as a first poster, I still survived. I never gave up when I can't meet up to their demands and expectations. I never felt that I could take all the unpleasant things that they say to me. It's ok. I take those harsh words and I turn them around to make something positive out of them.

I came into the department as a person that knew very little of that particular discipline. Now I move out, I am certain that I am able to manage cases as the first person to see the patient. I can manage the first steps before handing the patient over to the hands of the experts. I am certain of that now.

All I want to say to those who have given me all the challenges, thank you so much. Thank you for giving me hell. Because I know, that I work best under pressure.

I'll be back, after 2 years.....

HO survival kit: One rotten apple makes the whole basket looks bad.

After posting my last post, I got this hate reply:

"Why you complained? When on call, you or your colleagues complained too much work, to tiring, etc. Now that the shift system is being implemented, you complained that it is way to cut your salary. What do you want? I bet that you just want to stay at home and continue to draw salary, right?"

My reply is:
I challenge you (whoever you are) to check all my punch cards, the times that I spent in hospital; ask all the staff nurses from all the wards that I have been posted in; and then only post a comment.

My advice is:
DO NOT GENERALIZE

HO survival kit: Your voice does not matter, ever.

Have you heard? The shit, I mean, the shift system will be starting soon. Every single hospital in Malaysia that has housemen are FORCED to start the shift system for the housemen. This is so that the housemen have enough rest and a better quality of life..... yeah, right.

This is just a cover up because they do not want to pay us if we do calls. So, like it or not, the shit, I mean shift (sorry, it has become a habit to say shit system as many can foresee the failure of this system) system, MUST take place.

The pros:
-less working hours
-the government can save money
-better quality of life for housemen (I am not sure in what way is this true as even though we are allowed some days off in the week for the shift system, we still have to come for continued medical education on our off day).
-seriously, I can't think of any more pros.

The cons:
-confusion during passing over
-no ownership of patients, therefore the HO that really don't have passion don't even care about the patient.
-very limited hands on experience and very short learning and training time
-we will not know the daily progress of a patient
-no more extra income
-no training for critical time when we are supposed to handle cases when we are alone during on call
-some of will really become like nurses
-there will be confusion when a HO changes from one discipline to the next because of the sudden influx or outflux of HO

Really, the people who asked for this and enforced this system should just quit their jobs now because they really don't know what they are asking for.

And worst of all, we can't do anything because when they say it MUST be enforced, it MUST. And then we are shunned by the seniors saying that we are so spoiled, when the seniors do not actually know that I am so damn against the shift system and I voiced my opinion to the authorities but no one heard me.

What else is there left for me to do?

HO survival kit: Ikut resam padi, makin berisi, makin tunduk.

Everyday we hear: the key to life is HUMILITY. We are told to be humble and remember that this is a borrowed earth, not ours, but God's.

Problem is, some people just don't believe in God and they can come up with the statement: "This is my place and here I am God". Had the shocker of my life when I heard that. And for some people, they do believe that God is around is just that sometimes, most oftenly, they tend to forget the existence of God. Well, we are imperfect, so we forget.

No matter who we are, the higher we go, the more humble we should be. That is why there are times, instead of eating with the health care provider people, I sit in the Faber's (cleaner's) pantry and eat with them. That is why, with each and every patient, no matter where there are from, I make sure that I attend to their every single whim and question. I do not judge them. I talk to them, I never leave them wondering: "Hey what is next?"

I wonder what goes through their splendid minds when they intervene in someone else's territory just like that. Without any formal introduction, just because they are in the same level, they just come and butt in with just: "excuse me, excuse me" and start to attend to the patient, leaving the main team awestrucked as to: "Who on God's earth are you?".

Although, there are some of them who are so humble, they never forget that they were once like us, they started off like us, they went through everything like us. Those whom I mentioned, I respect them. They EARNED their respect, they didn't ask for it.

I hope there are more like them around.

The higher you go, the harder you fall.....

HO survival kit: All HO are useless

We come to work at 5am in the morning.
-All HO are useless

We sometimes have to skip meals to finish our work so that things are done.
-All HO are useless

We sometimes run around, instead of using the phone to get appointments/results earliest possible.
-All HO are useless

We don't go back until late just to get our ward work done.
-All HO are useless.

We stay and wait and wait and wait until all procedures are done.
-All HO are useless.

We sometimes sleep less than 2 hours in a day.
-All HO are useless.

We are also human. We are still rather new at this. We make mistakes. We need guidance. We need someone to listen to our voices sometimes. We are not perfect, neither are we useless...

HO survival kit: Ditelan mati anak, diluah mati bapak

As a HO one should realize that no matter what you do, even if you have said it right, saved a life, whatever, you are WRONG.... and I mean, ALWAYS.

The life chain when you become a HO goes lie this:

Consultant -> specialist -> MO -> Sister -> staff nurse -> PPK -> cleaner -> HO

Yes, we are at the bottom of the life chain. Believe me, this is true.

There was once, during those OT days, where you are expected to go for rounds, then finish your ward work and then go to OT to learn something, my name was on the list to be in OT. But we were told by the CONSULTANT to finish our ward work before we go off to OT since there are already the superiors in OT to do the job.

So, we all went off to our respective wards, trying to finish our work when the ward phone rang and the Superior called and ask why wasn't there any HO in OT. Naturally, I answered and said that the CONSULTANT has already ordered us to finish our work first and then go to OT.

But with arrogance, the Superior said that this is the last warning because we did not follow HIS direct orders.

Wow....

So, if we don't follow the consultant's orders, we're dead. And if we don't follow the Superior's orders, we are also dead. We are in trouble no matter what. It is like you are balancing on a fine tight rope that even with a swift blow of wind, you will fall......

and fall.....

and fall.....

and then you get extended, sometimes for no apparent reason.