I started off the episode with feelings of fear and uncertainties. I have heard many unwanted memories regarding this episode of my job. I myself has had a bad segment with one of the superiors prior to commencing my duties here. But I went head first, in hopes that it is not all that bad as suspected.
It wasn't an easy journey, I must say. I had many bad experiences with the superiors in my early days. I cried silently, ONCE, just once because I couldn't think that they would make me feel so small and useless. But right after I shed those long kept tears, I stood up, said to my self:
If I can't ......
damage
destroy
degrade
me, so can't you.........
So, I went on and did my duties, put my patients as my priorities. Thinking that the only thing that can make me happy is the smiles on my patient's faces, the gratitude that they show by saying the simple "Terima Kasih", the joy of the whole family to know that everyone is safe. That was my fuel to get through this episode of my job, and nothing else matters.
Along the way, of course, I have to face some individuals that are better left unmentioned. But because I think that what they have done has made a significant impact, and has made me learn that being like them, will never make you happy, just make you more pretentious, I shall share some of my stories.
I can safely and honestly say that this episode is not that bad after all, after what I have heard earlier prior to starting my duties here. It is really how you bring yourself, and how you ensure that you have good relationships (not by being an ass kisser) and trust with your superiors. You have to stand firm on your ground if you are sure that you are right, but say it in a nice way, so that the other person, who reprimands for the sake of it, will just live on the guilt trip forever.....
I have been on the bad meter with some superiors, and it doesn't bother me because, I have proof and witnesses that I wasn't at wrong. I actually anticipated a letter of warning because I know, working with the government, the superiors are always right, regardless. Thus I have meticulously prepared myself (with names of eye witnesses) to counter the accusation. Never mind if I am standing alone, at least I know, I am standing with honesty in my heart.
However, there is this one particular individual, no matter how much I tried, I can never understand. Whatever you do is not enough, you will be bothered by endless calls, nagging, I shall say. But tell me truthfully, how, how inn God's great name, can you do your work if you have to answer all those calls? How can your work be done if you are bothered every other minute? How can you actually perform? Does it make you feel better to perform in anger? in sadness? in vengeance? It wonders me, really. When will that ever stop? But I thank God for making me the kind of person who does not care to bother on other things rather than the priorities; ie: my patients. You can talk as much as you want, I can't hear you, I can only hear the presenting complaints of my patients.
So, there you go. Some comments I have to the past episode of my duties.
It is really a love hate relationship
;)
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