blinded by her persistent push, i forgot that it is all actually called love.

i watched The Blind Side this morning, right after i woke up. usually i would wake up and straight away have some breakfast. but for these past few days, i haven't been having breakfast and i have been snacking, hence the very severe gastric attack that is recurrently taking place. anyway, that is so not the story.

LeighAnne Touhy, the lady who took in Michael Oher from the streets one night when she saw him walking in the freezing cold, on the way to the school gym, because he had nowhere else to go. LeighAnne, she is a strong woman. she has the power of persuasion. she likes things to go her way, and mind you, THAT is the only way. i would think that she has an anankastic type of personality. whatever that her children do, is never enough. she keeps on pushing them to be better.

praises come in rare forms if it were to come from LeighAnne. but then again, those praises are sincere. she stands on her feet when it comes to making her point across the room, or across anyone at all, even the lady at the goverment service counter. if she doesn't like something, she made sure that it is heard.

whatever that she does, she already set in her mind that that is what is good for everyone, for her mainly because in the end she will be satisfied. although all these sound rather like a control freak (oh, yes she is), LeighAnne actually have a heart of gold. she is very well to do and she clicks with all the A-listers. but eventhough her life seems to be like a bed of roses, she never forgets about those that are in need. and this character of hers, liking to help others in any way possible, has rubbed off on her children as well.

LeighAnne Touhy reminds me of my mama.



really, when i watched the movie, i thought i saw my mama in there. she is all that LeighAnne is. she loves to push people, she wants things done her way, she cannot tolerate government ignorance, she has her feet down with anyone that is in contact with her.

mama is active in many kinds of charity work. helping the needy, orphans, the very ill people, any random stranger on the street, and mainly NGOs that are fighting against cancer. no matter if she is herself fit to help or not, she helps. that is how she is. and she never wants anything back. to her, helping others just make her day. make her have a reason to smile, make her satisfied to see others happy. and i am most glad that this trait of mama, has rubbed on on me. helping people in any way possible just gives me an unexplainable high that only i guess mama and i secretly understands. it may seem weird to others, but it ain't weird to the both of us.

and mostly, mama wants the best for her children. like LeighAnne Touhy, if you mess with her children, you're so done for. she will make your life as miserable as hell soon after she knows that you are responsible in making her children unhappy. mama will push us to the wall because she knows that we all work better under pressure. well, at least i do, i am not too sure about others. the jet black carbon that is put under constant high pressure will in the end turn out to be a diamond that is priceless. and that is just what we are. we are mama's precious diamonds.

i love you ma.

p/s: i actually cried watching this movie because now i realize how beautiful a mother's love can be.

s.t.u.c.k

oh-em-jii... it has been 3 days since i last blogged about something. not that i am too lazy to do so, but i was too caught up with the second wave of exams that i felt so damn guilty to be online. but that does not stop me from being on facebook like almost 24hours a day. damn! that thing is addictive. i even wanted to start playing cafe world but i know if i were to start, my books and notes will be buried in cobweb before i will touch them again. so, that didn't happen. i didn't become a super chef in the cafe world, not yet at least.

maybe i should start today? since even after the second wave of professional exams, i am still sadly stuck here in kedah. everyone else that i know is already either at home, home-bound, or at least out having fun. me, well, i am here, in my room, infront of my Mr. Dell, blogging about the not-so-interesting life of REd. sad, ain't it?

anyway, the third wave of the exams will only commence in january 2010. oh yeah, the new year. what shall i do? currently, i am booked for a job for new year's eve and i will have to travel on the 31st and only be back by noon of jan 1st. that is just a booking, haven't even confirm if i get the job or not. well, i hope i do. at least there is something for me to do to pass time.

honestly, i can't wait for jan 1st not because it is the new year. but because someone will be with me. i am not sure if i am allowed to disclose this matter. but she and i, we will be having fun!!

so, yeah, that is just some mundane update on my part. my room looks like a shipwreck (as always). i was supposed to clean up my room today but i fell asleep and then went for jogging in the evening. i am just too lazy to do it now. so i guess i'll reserve it for tomorrow's activity. what shall i do on friday then? clean the neighbourhood? damn it! i am effing loosing it here!!!

p/s: i really hope i someone will rescue me out of this boredom.

i do Kamasutra when i am bored.

i found this poster somewhere in the www today. it looks kind of familiar. it looks like what had happened yesterday between me and Emerald (yes, her name has changed from Atap to Emerald. that's Emi for short).

but the sad truth is, only Emi had all the fun... heheheheh....



p/s: how come i have a pet now? oh-em-jii!! and the biggest problem is, she smells like Donkey and she just loves to give me a kiss. yucks!!!

DEADline

this is what i am going through now. i just want to get this over and done with!!! arrgghhh!!!

but don't you think this is so damn cool? thing is, i am concerned about the environmental factor of it. aren't we supposed to save the environment? this looks like a huge waste of post-its....

Natalie Dylan: the price of virginity.

this is Natalie Dylan (or her made-up virgin name, i am not too sure. but honey, what's with the skin breakouts? never trust a close-up picture).

she is 22 years old (although, i think she can also pass for a 35 years old if she was living in asia, don't you agree?) as of year 2009 and she is attending college (what course? medicine? no wonder she wants to play "doctor") somewhere in the states. she started off as a small town nobody, but this year, things have changed. she became a somebody and a very famous (for all the wrong reasons) somebody at that!

so, she is selling off her virginity. don't believe me? read this. it seems that in this world that we are living in these days, virginity is a rare and priceless commodity. commodity? REALLY??!!?

but natalie is going to break that statement by putting a price on hers. she is actually auctioning her virginity online. her reasons are simple she is doing this because:
a) her sister Avia Dylan is also doing it (but not online. Avia is actually a PROSTITUTE who is attending school and paying her school fee with that prostitution money).
b) oh, Natalie HAS to because she also wants to go to school and she can't afford to go because she has not enough to pay the fee (haven't they heard of bank loans or scholarships or grants???).

weird thing is, she has all the time and all the money in the world to set up herself online. i mean, the clothes, the raunchy photoshoots, the makeups, the hairdos. if she were to spend all those time and energy to actually find another way to fund her schooling fee, she would have been in school by now. but i guess she is too busy managing her online bid.

now that is desperate.

p/s: if virginity were a rare and priceless commodity, how would her bidders know that she is actually a virgin? i mean, if they haven't been with a virgin, how would they know a virgin?

a poem for them

there are these 2 people that i know
are they a "he" or a "she"
i am afraid i can't reveal so.

they love to shop
they love to brag
but when it comes to pay time
they won't pay back.

do they act together?
hmmm... i am not too sure
wanna take a guess?
but hey, no pressure ;)

oh please, oh please, spare me this
i'm really not spying on you
you are not even on the celebrity A-list.

the things they do
they tell all kinds
and then they go on saying:
"oooo.... i have a stalker on my behind"

i go on thinking
with all i have
and then i have this to reply to that statement they made earlier
"what the eff?"

come on, grow up already
if you know who you are
there are things more precious than ego and pride
and it is definitely not your car.

so i am asking you this
when will all this end?
the shopping, the socializing, the gallavanting
but still how come there is no money in my bank?

~the end~



*so so so, written by me.

mengikut kata pendekar bujang lapok: "cobaaaaannnnnn...."

seperti semua sedia maklum, hari ini bermulalah second wave exam aku: Professional Exams. ntah apa sampuk aku, sebelum cleaner sampai campus, aku dah sampai dulu. on the way ke campus, masa aku tengah jalan tu, macam-macam benda bermain dalam otak aku, tapi satu pun takde kena mengena dengan exam yang aku bakal duduk pagi tadi. doa ada, lagu lady gaga ada, muka dia ada, sms dari mak aku ada, feeling of guilt ada....tapi fakta medical, semua ntah ke mana.

seperti biasa, aku adalah orang pertama dalam barisan periksa tu. biasalah, kalau nama start dari A, memang menjadi lumrah alam semenjak aku tadika lagi la yang aku akan berada di hadapan barisan. exam slip yang aku ambil kelmarin, dah aku serahkan awal2 kepada saras, sebab dia gerenti akan bawa punya. kalau aku, boleh nak terlupa. ingat tak kisah dulu?

then, semua answer booklets dengan soalan dah dapat, aku pun dengan tekun mengisi ruang2 kosong dengan benda2 yang perlu seperti course code, title of paper, date, personal index number.

and the exam begins....

dia ada 3 phase. phase pertama kena jawap dulu then hand in, then phase kedua and ketiga jawap together. so, selepas aku selesai dengan phase pertama, aku hand in my paper and aku terus start phase kedua. aku baca soalan, aku jawap apa yang aku tahu.

tetiba, invigilator datang, tunjuk aku paper yang aku hand in tadi. dia tanya, "is this yours?"

aku pun tengok la. sah!! mistake yang sama aku buat setahun lepas, aku ulang balik. instead of writing my personal index number, aku tulis aku punya identification number. bengong!!! lepas tu, kelam kabut la aku jadinya. setiap paper aku, yang aku dah isi sebelum periksa mula, untuk save masa, aku kena betulkan. dah buang masa aku.....haishhh....

tu cobaan pertama.

then, tengah best2 menjawap sambil berfikir, perut memulas. hari ni second day aku period. period pain tak ingat punya. jangan cakap period pain je. aku boleh rasa macam empangan pecah pun iye juga. aku memang dah nak bangun pergi toilet untuk menyelamatkan keadaan. tapi aku tahan sebab aku tak nak kehilangan masa lagi. apa nak jadi, jadi lah... tapi alhamdulillah, nothing major happened. empangan aku masih kukuh sehingga ke minit terakhir exam itu :P

tu cobaan kedua.

aku ni ada habit, aku suka baca benda sekali pintas.aku tak reti nak baca dengan detail. soalan tu ada sepuluh untuk phase kedua. cuma kena wajib jawap LAPAN, dan LAPAN SAHAJA. aku pergi jawap SEMBILAN. bijak kan? last2 aku buat pertarungan antara dua soalan, mana yang aku rasa boleh score lagi best, yang tu la aku biarkan. yang lagi satu, aku CANCEL.

tu cobaan ketiga.

p/s: exam slip aku kini berada di dalam tangan arul. dia pulak pegang untuk monday's exam.

stressed

i didn't realize this until the first wave of exams that day. when i am severely stressed, i get this....



i know....dizzy-gusting right?


my palm becomes totally dry and scaly. at first i thought it was the soap that i used or something that i touched. but not really. even after applying copious amount of lotion so moisterize my palm, it goes bone-dry again in 15minutes after aplication.

weird part is..... it happens only on my right palm.